I am not succinct

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T15:40:00.002-05:00

Proving yet again that she is afraid of nothing and no one, Katie was a fabulous sport about Santa... Maddie was probably more excited than ever to meet the big guy and tell him her special wish (a doll house). The result? My gorgeous girls and the big guy himself...

Yes, that's a beret. Maddie told me Katie looked like a police officer. I don't disagree...

Merry Christmas wishes to everyone - I think I might be more excited for Christmas day than the kids. Can't wait to see everyone's faces for all the surprises there will be wrapped under the tree.

2011 - 'Twas a good year...

xxoo.S

Life getting in the way

2011-11-24T21:16:00.001-05:00

I had big plans for November. I was going to do NaBloPoMo - actually write a post every day and really get my blogging mojo back.

Hi! It's November 24th. I SUCK.

It's life dude. It's getting in the way. (insert whiny voice) In. The. Waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!

Without sounding like an autobot of every other person out there, I just can't seem to figure out a way to fit in everything I want to do. The house is never as tidy as it should be. Laundry is always a load or two (or eight) behind. I really need to finish paying those bills and file the papers away so I can see my dining room table again. The dog should've been walked today, maybe that's why he's being so annoying. The magazines and catalogues and borrowed books that sit upon my bedside table are at desperate risk of falling off and maiming my toddler.

I have a TODDLER. WTF? Last time I think I gave you any kind of update about Katie I was wondering when her first teeth were going to arrive and waxing poetically about my little one year old.

She is 17 months old now. Have I written any short little anecotodal notes about her daily cuteness and all the adorable happenings? No... I fail as a blogger. FAIL.

For the record, she is awesome. She is FULL of sass and grump, piss and vinegar, smiles and scowls. She is the epitome of what will soon become "a handful" soon I believe. She's SO awesome and SO sassy that she really does deserve her own post and therefore I'm not going to write any more about her gorgeousness, except to promise that I WILL write about her soon. I PROMISE.

Aside from the daily clutter and household drudgery things getting in the way I also keep starting (and not finishing) about a TRILLION diy projects around the house. I am maniacal in creating lists of what I want to "accomplish" each week, when in the end, all I end up accomplishing are little piles of unfinished projects in each and every room of the house.

It's a good thing the Hubs doesn't notice much during football season...

And add to all of that, I continue to search for a job. I'm unemployed and needing employment. And it sucks. Large, sucky, crap-balls. It's no fun to spend the wee hours of your nights drafting cover letters and applying for jobs that you don't really want, but will apply for anyways, because you never know, maybe it'd be OKAY. I've had a few exciting interviews for exciting jobs at exciting companies that I would be very excited about working for. But it's also the holiday season and things start to move verrrrry slowly. It can be disheartening I am disenchanted with it all. And yet, one must trudge forward.

I'd say that's probably a reason I've been quiet too - because even when you have lofty goals of focusing on the positive, it's easy to get deflated and choked up with the negative. And I KNOW you're not here for that.

So here it is - a promise to be better. To do what I came here to do - which is (our little inside joke) document our lives dammit. And I will. I promise.

K: WTF are we doing here?
M: It's a pile of leaves and it's fall and it's FUN!
K: This is BS, let's go wreck some shit.

xxoo.S

Remember last Monday?

2011-11-04T21:40:00.000-04:00

Remember when I was an actual blogger and posted things in some type of coherent order? And actually within a reasonable amount of time, so as to make my posts kind of timely and in context of actual life?

Yeah. Me neither.

So HALLOWEEN! It was on Monday. Like 5 days ago... So? What are you gonna do about it? That's right, I'm just getting around to posting about it now. AFTER my rant about Blockbuster closing down and the obliteration of an entire era of movie renting for a generation (me) and the subsequent art of living life unplanned + at the last minute (us) and the beauty of purchasing bad-for-you-food in an impulse, yet justifiable setting (REESE BITES).

I had priorities, okay?

So back to the offspring. And their Halloween stuff...

We carved our pumpkins during the chaos of Sunday afternoon football transition (aka just before the 4 o'clock games started). It was all before dinner, but after nap-time convenient like, and featured: 1) a distracted Daddy wielding a sharp knife, 2) a grumpy baby who could have TOTALLY slept for another half hour if it wasn't for her stompy, loud-as-an-elephant-in-high-heels sister, and 3) a 4 year old who was about as INTO pumpkin carving as she has been in the prior 2 years we've been foisting this tradition onto her. Which is to say, NOT AT ALL INTO IT.

Yo - this is gross, y'all.

Monday morning I got Maddie dressed up for school, only to walk back home, guzzle 2 cups of tea, get my darling Kates also dressed up (completely against her will and better judgement) and trek back to the school 15 minutes later for the Kindergarten parade. Which turned out to be possibly my favourite moment thus far in unemployment - and now I know, for the future, take Halloween day off. Because being able to attend shit like that? Is THE Awesome.

Hey Mom! Look! I'm in a parade!

The rest of the afternoon was spent with me trying to convince Maddie that, no, it wasn't time to go trick or treating yet, and no, she didn't need to wear her costume for the ENTIRE day. It wouldn't, like, negate her ability to earn candy later on or anything, if she just took off her princess dress for 5 seconds to eat her pizza. I also tried to get a cute, non-costumed-pic of the girls wearing their Halloween shirts.

It didn't work out so well...

By the time it was late enough that the girls could actually GO trick or treating, Katie was ready to pass out. She didn't nap so well - still sick from the weekend (teeth + cankers on her tongue (eww) = horrid weekend for her + us) - so she was a bit of a zombie before and during. But zombies are in, right? And yes (because I know you're wondering), Cinderella DID come by our house and THREW UP PRINCESS CRAP ALL OVER our Maddie. If it was plastic and sparkly or light blue, she wore it.

Zombie Butterfly FTW! We are so current.

In the end, we collected enough candy that Maddie actually had to come home and trade in her swanky McDonald's happy meal bucket for another - and since I have her on a strict 2-3 treats per day ration, I expect the candy should last us right until I get the Christmas baking started.

Which means she'll be on a sugar high for approximately 7 weeks.

Saaaa-weeet.

xxoo.S

I miss my Blockbuster

2011-11-04T00:29:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I had the brainwave that the Hubs should get a get of jail free card for the evening, while I got to be "good Mommy" and let Madds stay up late and watch a movie. Awesome plan, yes? Here's the kicker...

There's no effing video stores anymore. Not sure if you've heard (I hadn't), but Blockbuster went out of business and they have no more stores in Canada. So..... yeah. Include the various mom + pop stores that have gone bust locally, and I was starting to wrack my brain on where we were actually going to rent a movie from.

Sure there's Rogers On Demand - which I'm guessing, is one of the main reasons Blockbuster died its slow, corporate death - but have you checked out their children (sorry, FAMILY) selection? It's pitiful. I ended up finding a local Rogers Video and we checked out a few titles there - but it just wasn't the same. Selection was sparse and THEY DIDN'T HAVE REESE BITES. First Rule of Video Rental - have my effing candy. I want to impulse buy all sorts of unhealthy treats while I'm in line to rent my movies, and Reese Bites are at the TOP OF THAT LIST. (We settled for King size Reese PB cups - but they're just.not.the.same.)

But can we digress for a moment... because DUDES. Video stores are dying. And it's making me sad. Doesn't it feel like the end of an era? Does anyone else remember walking into a Jumbo Video as a teenager on a Friday night, helping yourself to a mini bag of popcorn and munching away as you browsed around? Because that memory for me is so vivid, such a REAL MOMENT that it makes me sad and a bit incredulous that my children won't ever have that same kind of experience.

Instead we all get to sit in our homes. Order whatever current movies our cable provider decides they're going to feature - and get to pay inflated prices for that one-time viewing (which, for a movie for me is no big deal - but for kid movies? They get watched over and over and overandoverandoverandover again - am I right?). I call bullshit.

Are we that digitalized (yes, I realize it's not a word - but it is now - it means all LawnmowerMan'd up - and if you get that reference then, YOU WIN) that we can't even support the economy of video rental? Wherein we have to leave our home and go somewhere and borrow a movie for a fee and bring said movie back when we say we will, so others can also borrow it and watch it? You want me to rely on NETFLIX for my entertainment? (Yes, that was said with as much of a sneer as you may have read there - the concept of paying $8 a month to watch shitastic movies like Point Break and The Wedding Singer makes me seriously question the sanity of people.)

I know there's some other kind of video rental where they mailed the vids to you - where you pick them online and they send them to you when they're available. S'cool. I've done it in the past, way back when. Cheap too. But it's still not the same...

C'mon, seriously... Is anyone else as sad as me about this turn of events? Or am I the old dinosaur resisting change and technology while you guys are all, Yay! Let's all curl up and watch shit on our laptops and beep-boop-bop-bop-biddity-bop (this is my fancy computer sound-effect), perhaps I shouldn't laugh at that funny part there, instead I'll just tweet it: "LOL - I love Jason Bateman movies! " and someone you don't know can reply back "ROFLMAO - I know!!! He's teh funnyy!"...

...AND UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME SOME REESE BITES, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

xxoo.S

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-26T01:31:00.000-04:00

I'd love to say that our recent outing to the local pumpkin patch had everything to do with my Project: Happiness October resolutions... (it wasn't - well, I guess not technically, but I'm still counting it, as I'm failing miserably at this month's resolutions and I need to put a gold star up somewhere, y'know?). But the pumpkin patch trip in mid-October is our family tradition. It started waaaaay back when Miss Madds was only a teeny tiny year old, and I picked the coldest, drizzliest day of the month to rouse the Hubs up off the couch and head out to get our pumpkin. It was a grumpy start, but we all had such fun that day, 4 years ago, that it's now the Hubs that is bugging for us to go by the first weekend of October. And a tradition was born...

This year Katie did more than snooze in the baby carrier... she was all, "LOOKIT THIS STUFF! ZZZZOMG THIS! AND THIS! AND DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS A SANDBOX!?!?"

She would not.stop.moving from the moment we got there.

"Bowling" game with Daddy

Umm... dangerous spot for my toddler to be watching her big sister "bowling".

There was a train. It was good fun.

She wanted to be just like her big sister - whatelseisnew.

Dirt. Yay, dirt.

Don't forget about the corn maze. Madds led us through to the end without one wrong turn. Methinks she's smart like Mommy.

Of course there was a tractor to drive...

And oh yeah, the pumpkin...

We had a great time and had great weather for it - so thank you Mother Nature, for letting us enjoy 2+ hours out in the crisp fall sun!

xxoo.S

FOUR!

2011-10-11T21:32:00.000-04:00

Dear Maddie,

Dude. You are four. FOUR! I don't even know how we got here.

As prosaic as it sounds, I still (and probably always will) think of you as my little baby girl. Except I have to squint extra hard to see it now. Especially when you stand, with your bony little arm perched on your hip, and whine your requests at me, "Moooooommm!" So apparently you're four, going on 14. Seriously - can I stay "Mommy" at least for one more year? Please?

So much change in just one year...

A year ago you used binkies. (Like all the time - it was quite annoying really. Good thing the Binky Fairy took care of that one.) Now it's like you never used them. I can't even imagine you with one now. (Thank god, right?)

A year ago you still had that toddler twang - lisping your "th's" and leaving words out of sentences. Now you pronunciate and articulate like a proper little lady. In fact, you may just mind your p's & q's better than your Daddy (don't tell him I said that).

A year ago you wanted to watch princess movies all the time, over and over and overandoverandover again. Now you ask for far less tv - more interested in doing, playing, creating.

A year ago you would argue and demand and tantrum. Now you reason, cajole, manipulate (in a good way) (usually).

A year ago you wouldn't try new foods (we're getting there).

A year ago you couldn't use the bathroom without help. Couldn't get dressed or undressed without help. Couldn't open the fridge. Find yourself a snack. Open the front door. Clean up your room. You are so self-sufficient now, I find myself asking if I can help you, please can I do that for you, all the time. "No Mom, I can do it. All by myself I will do it."

A year ago you couldn't swim. Couldn't ride a trike. Couldn't write your name, or any letters at all in fact. You draw pictures (of people! and other recognizable things!). You write your name, Katie's name, Mommy and Daddy. You're learning your last name. You have your address memorized.

You are getting fearless. More confident every day. Cutting those apron strings and becoming your own little person faster than I ever could imagine.

Four will be a doozy I think. So much learning for both of us - new skills and independence for you. Learning to let go, stand back, let you try on your own, for me.

So while I take a look forward, I also take a look back.

A year filled with dancing. Singing (you love to sing along to the radio now). A year of learning and practicing and playing and giggling and "Just teasing, Mom". A year spent watching you soak up everything around you like a sponge. And admiring how it still didn't change your sweetness, your generosity of spirit, or your humour.

You still wake up in the morning with a smile on your face and an eagerness or have funfunfun.

You are my libra. Here to teach me how to balance.

You bring us light and laughter and so so so much love.

Every year your birthday seems to hover around Thanksgiving. As if we needed to be reminded to be thankful.

Maddie's 4th birthday from Sara Vallier on Vimeo.

Love,
Mommy

Project: Happiness - Sept update and Oct goals

2011-10-03T23:32:00.003-04:00

Hey, remember when I said I was going to set all these lofty goals for myself and it would lead to happiness and zen for the whole famly, and, and, ahahhhhhhh (that is a frustrating laugh there my interweb friends)....... Yes. Okay. So let's catch up, shall we?

Project: Happiness - September Recap - The Month of Organization
- clean car (like, really, really clean the hell out of it) --> okay, I ACTUALLY did this very early in the month. And it's still (sort-of) clean. But I must admit - the floor mats are still sitting in the garage, waiting for me to lug up the vacuum and give them a solid clean. So, 7/8ths check?
- clean off dining room table (this is our junk/mail/bills/papers depository and just makes everything look messy on our main floor at all times) + keep it clear for entire month --> *cue insane laughter* This was a lofty goal. I did get it 98% cleared for approximately 3 hours one day. My dining room table is my fucking organizational nemesis. That is all I'm going to say about that.
- Kijiji/Freecycle/give away items in garage not returning to basement --> YAY! I kicked ass on this goal. of all the crazy clutter we had sitting in our garage, I have only a box of dishes and a bag of clothes destined for Goodwill. I also made +$250 selling all our crap, which is even more awesome.
- update Flickr + Facebook photo albums, organize and backup photo/videos on computer --> Hmmm, I give myself a B- on this. I did update the online albums, but my backups are (as always) horrendously out of date... ugh. I feel stressy just thinking about the fact that I didn't finish this one.
- pack away summer clothes, sort through winter clothes - make goodwill donations and reduce wardrobes by 30% --> Another B grade. I did go through and did make some donations - but not nearly enough to constitute a 30% reduction. I got bored somewhere between t-shirts and old holiday-themed pajama bottoms... In all fairness, while my wardrobe is not "capsule" in the least, it is pretty pared down already. Except for the shoes - and I will not submit to giving up a single pair. Nope.
- clear out email accounts, unsubscribe from unnecessary email lists and delete or respond to all incoming emails that day --> Oh I OWNED this one. I subscribe to so many blogs that tell me about deals and offers that I really did a major email purge and while I'm not sitting at Inbox Zero or anything, the influx has definitely lessened significantly. This is one of the more glorious results because for some reason, I always felt guilty deleting an email without reading it through - which was such a flipping time waster. Oh I recommend taking a few minutes every morning for a week or so and doing this yourself. It really is freeing.
- create remainder of monthly goals for Project: Happiness --> Bahahhhaaahha. Okay - so I've started, but nope, this isn't done yet.

Overall? I give myself a B+ - nothing was that major of an accomplishment on that list - but finding an hour a day (or more) to really push through some progress was tough. Probably because none of it was really "fun" - and for the start to a "Happiness Project" it really wasn't all that inspiring. BUT the legitimate head-space that got cleared out? End result = totally worth it. I feel far more focused. Less concerned by junky, unnecessary, niggly little thoughts of "Oh I need to do X, Y & Z sometime soon." Really - the organization was probably a lot more internal than external, and that was kind of the point of it, you know?

Which brings us to October....

Project: Happiness - October - Month of Family
Maddie's birthday, Thanksgiving, two weeks of school holidays upon us - I thought it only fitting that this month I focused on us...

Goals:
- make a bigger effort to stay in contact with close family - appreciate time spent with them
- plan fun family outings every weekend
- make more crafts, play more actively, read more books with the girls
- get outside, play harder, limit screen time
- start gratitude journal for the month
- bite my tongue, practice more patience, be more forgiving - to everyone (well, immediate family at least - stoopid drivers may still incur my wrath)

Huh. That seems like a big, lofty list...

xxoo.S

Snippets for Fall 2011

2011-09-29T00:16:00.000-04:00

You know the ever elusive refreshing 20 minute cat nap? One that you may attempt on a Saturday afternoon, but either end up being woken up approximately 0.893678 seconds into falling asleep, or actually getting to sleep and crashing out for a sweaty, sleep-crusty 2.5 hours that you wake up feeling completely disoriented (and frustratingly more tired)... of course I managed to catch one tonight during the first PVR'd Modern Family of the season. Out like a light after the first commercial break, only to wake up, get myself to bed and lay there for a solid hour, wide awake and unable to fall asleep.

Which brings me here... to you... for some incoherent ramblings...

* * *

Maddie's "new" thing is picking out everyone's outfit in the morning. What started with her sometimes picking out her sister's outfits have morphed into Total Fashion Domination. She (sometimes) gets the chance to pick out the Hubs tie. She (always) picks out lil' Kate's duds. And my "walk her to school outfit" - meh, I'm down with being told what to wear - decision making before 8am was never my strong suit. Except yesterday - when she looked through my closet and picked out a green sparkly "going out dancing back when I was in my early 30's and perhaps did that kind of thing" tank top. She declared it JUST PERFECT and told me that OF COURSE it matched my yoga pants and no it WASN'T TOO FANCY for 8am. (I'd love to be that cool, "who cares what people think" mom and say I wore it ... but too effing bad - I do have some dignity...)

* * *

Recovering from hernia repair surgery means I haven't been able to pick up (read: tote around on my hip for 68% of my waking hours) my little Katiebear. Like, at all. While still a tiny one, she definitely qualifies for over the 5-pound limit I have for the four week post-op recovery period. I've had plenty of help from my mom and MIL, and really, she's not had any lack of attention... but OF COURSE this past week is when she has decided to pull out the big guilt guns, right? And started mewling "MA-MA" whenever she wants a cuddle. (Also? As an aside? What is UP with toddlers sounding like baby goats when they first start saying "mama"? It's all gurgly and bleaty and baby-goaty, non?) So yes. To answer any aspiring-mom-to-be who may not know this - the emotional manipulation starts EARLY, yo.

* * *

Aside from spending time not-picking-up-my-baby and not-wearing-sparkly-tank-tops-to-JK-drop-off, I've also been making good on my promise to get myself organized. The garage. Our closets. The spice cupboard (oh you don't even want to know what was going on in there). It's just been organize, organize, all the time organize, around these parts. (Which you know, makes the Hubs a BIG fan of me. *cough*cough* Lifting totes of clothes up and down 2 flights, back and forth, several times buddy - yay!) But at least I can say I've accomplished this month's goal. As for the actual list of goals for the next 11 months - that is coming... soon. Erm.... Shut up. I've been busy organizing...

* * *

Remember that cookbook that Jerry Seinfeld's wife wrote a few years ago. Teaching moms everywhere to hide vegetables in various meals. Because, Yay! Healthy! And also, Yay! No more complaining from the loud, annoying kidlet at that table! Well, I saw it on one of the restocking carts at the library last week and was all... I'm Inspired! Let's make purees! And hide them in food! And try out new, weird, recipes!!!

Big fat 'effing failure. Three recipes in and I'm already eyeing up the pureed beets with suspicion of just HOW long will I let them take up precious ice cream space in my freezer before they hit the green bin.

I give them 3 months. A month per recipe failure perhaps...

* * *

It's an old friend's birthday this weekend and I'm taking her up on an afternoon facial, some hardcore window shopping for me (here I come Anthro - you better be ready for me), and an evening soiree. My prediction for the outing goes like this... I spend so much time window shopping I don't allot nearly enough time to hair-straightening-the-mane, and therefore spend the evening looking like a 1987 throwback (thereby solidifying my entrance into cougertown), I drink just that one glass too many glasses of proseco and become the loud "I DON'T GET OUT MUCH" lady at the party, and spend at least a half hour on the drive home looking for a drive-thru McD's in downtown TO so that I can scarf a hangover-reducing Sausage & Egg combo (supersized for the extra hashbrown) on my drive home to the 'burbs and screaming kidlets. All in all - a great time that I'm VERY much looking forward to...

* * *

Speaking of girls' nights out ... I'm planning an awesomesauce party of my own for November. It's an idea I first saw on Pinterest (if you haven't checked this site out, you need to set aside, oh, AN ENTIRE WEEKEND, to really go through and savour the gorgeousness and inspirational messiah that it is)... It's called a Favourite Things Party and essentially is this: everyone brings their favourite thing (anything they like... favourite lip gloss, favourite kitchen tool, favourite gift wrapping supply, etc). It can't cost more than $6 and each person brings five of the same thing. Then, everyone draws names - and there's a massive exchange, so everyone goes home with 5 different items - of other's party-goers' favourite things... I think this, along with copious bottles of wine and kid-free weekend status will make this a fairly fantastic evening.

* * *

That's all I've got... Oh - a Seamus update.... he's still around (barely, some days) - his puppy-ness is starting to subside (as in, no more chewed toys/shoes/random boxes of kleenex), but he seems to have forgotten everything he ever learned in puppy class. He can't walk on a leash for shite, he still jumps on everyone (including Kates - which doesn't help her "new walking status" so much), and he stinks. Like very, very bad. It's like he's rolled in a pile of mildewy, rotting, wormy, leaves. Every day. All the time. Mr. Stinksalot. (Yes, I've tried bathing him - it just adds the distinct odour of "wet dog" to the above.) Maybe it's a terrier thing? It bothers me less-so than the Hubs - but even I can't deny he is a stinky gross smelly hotmess. Awwwww - and he's all miiiiiiiiiiine!

Yes, that's totally a skull + crossbones leash. Maddie calls him her "Pirate Dog".

* * *

And on that note..... I'm hoping the two mugs of warm milk I've had while writing this incoherent mess of a post will actually do something and I'll catch some zzz's. G'nite.

xxoo.S

I would like to thank...

2011-09-10T09:13:00.003-04:00

With the Hubs off the past week taking care of me (Aside: I got to cross one of my "firsts" of my life list - reluctantly - surgery - nothing major, just a little hernia thanks to having two massive baby bellies in the past 3 years - for that I get a frankenbutton and the inability to lift anything over 5 pounds for a month - can I get a wootwoot?) I decided to take advantage of his spare time and get a good start on the organizing resolution for the month.

After months of renos, our garage was PACKED full of items that needed to go. I'm talking full on hoarders-style garage where things were packed on things and tables were precariously stacked upon boxes and bags of SHITE (this is where any good blogger would insert a pic of said hoarders-style garage - but not me - I keep you guessing as to just how disgusting it was!)... Luckily for me, I was up and able to move around enough by Monday to start snapping pics and measuring furniture. Several hours later I had posted everything that needed to go on Kijiji or Freecycle. Within the week I've made over $250 and reduced the clutter in our garage by, oh, 70%? (Yes, there was some big stuff in there - but still, I am awesomesauce - just for the record.) I got $50 alone for the drapes that were hanging in our house when we bought it - which I promptly took down, stored in the garage and FORGOT ABOUT for 4 years. That's like finding money right there, my friends. For drapes that I never did, and was never gonna, use.

So thank you Kijiji, thank you Freecycle.... your powers of clutter-reduction have brought me a lil bit of zen this week.

xxoo.S

Project: Happiness

2011-09-05T23:01:00.002-04:00

This summer has been balls. I got laid off. We've been living with extensive home renovations, which has been hard, really hard. Needing to get out of the house for weeks at a time meant living out of a suitcase. Arguments. Tired, off-schedule, cranky kids.

I can usually look at a situation that bites and see (good or bad) what needs to be done to improve it. It's a talent (sort-of) - very useful in a professional sense. On a personal level I've been called ruthless on more than one occasion. But I'm efficient. I'm a problem-solver. I get things done.

Until this summer. I don't know if it was being laid off (sorry, restructured) that threw me off balance. Or not being able to live in my house for almost 3 months. We were there - on and off - but never living in any kind of order, and always under a cloud of drywall, carpet, renovation dust.

Two major life stressors at once. Two children with non-stop summer colds and sore throats and ear infections and fevers and just sickness. Two adults that weren't getting enough sleep or "me" time or sleep.

It all resulted (and is still in recovery stages) of a very "hard" time for our family. One that you'll look back on in memory as "Oh that was the hard summer" or, "Yes, lucky we survived that time". It's a period that requires italics in the memory banks of our brains, for one reason or another.

But we are coming out the other side - renos are complete. Maddie has started school. Fall is approaching. A change of seasons always brings about a change of mindset. And fall, being the start of a new (school) year for so much of your life always has felt (to me) like the true beginning of the "new year".

At such a key time, this past month I have been reading the book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchin Rubin. I think it was during a regular errand-filled pilgrimage to the local Walmart, where I was walking around zombie-like, with Pampers and dog food piled high in my cart, that I noticed the book on display in a middle aisle. I know I stopped suddenly in front of the display, because I remember the lady behind me giving me a sigh of annoyance as she veered around me. I had promised myself not to buy any more new books (in one of my first efforts to hone a thriftier household budget), but after glancing at the book jacket and "Note to the Reader" I couldn't put the book back on the display. And so, it came home with me. And slowly (about as slowly as possible actually, as leisurely spare reading time is not freely on tap of late) I read the book.

Any time I've tried to explain the book's concept, people have responded, "oh it's a self-help book"... it isn't. It really is just, almost, a thesis if you will, of another person's attempt at making her life happier over an extended period of time. And the premise on which she did that, was to break it into "themes", assign them to months and tackle it as it if was just like any other project. Except this one is completely and utterly self-serving. Selfish, in fact. As it really is her own happiness (not her family's, not her children's) that she is concerned about for the entire book.

And yet - shocking, I know - the result of her being happier of course is her family, her children become happier as well. Be it through changes they make in reaction to her changes, or resulting from the benefits of the changes she makes.

It's quite fascinating - and inspiring. So much so, that I in fact, have been inspired to start my own project happiness. One that I'm going to document here - even just as a behavioural check to ensure I stick to it and at least reflect on any results - good or bad - that I observe. (Don't worry, this isn't going to become a self-improvement blog where I pontificate about how to become a better person. In no way will this be a major life overhaul. But perhaps an interesting way to set some goals - resolutions - and see if it makes a difference in the end if I follow them or not)... And dudes - if there was ever a time where I could use a little dollop of happiness - now is it.

Following the same type of structure the author set, I'm going to assign "themes" to each month. Here is September (hoping the results of it will help me get the rest of my months planned out!)...

Project: Happiness - September - Month of Organization
I picked organization because I have a lot going on in my head and it's hard to be focussed and make progress on anything lately because of so many things floating around up there. So before I get started on making progress on anything, I think I need to get organized...

Goals:
- clean car (like, really, really clean the hell out of it)
- clean off dining room table (this is our junk/mail/bills/papers depository and just makes everything look messy on our main floor at all times) + keep it clear for entire month
- Kijiji/Freecycle/give away items in garage not returning to basement
- update Flickr + Facebook photo albums, organize and backup photo/videos on computer
- pack away summer clothes, sort through winter clothes - make goodwill donations and reduce wardrobes by 30%
- clear out email accounts, unsubscribe from unnecessary email lists and delete or respond to all incoming emails that day
- create remainder of monthly goals for Project: Happiness

Holy shit, I feel like I've just given myself a lot of work to do. And yet, it's so freeing to ignore a few of those other niggling "to do's" (like the bookcase for Katie's room or printing photos - that's just going to have to happen another month, and I refuse to worry, plan, spend any more brain-time on that).... so now, my "free" time will be spent attempting to bring some order to our lives and clear out some of the chaos, baggage, whatever...

Here's hoping I actually stick with it (my track record with proper "new year's" resolutions is absolute shite) - and if I don't, please feel free to openly mock me. In fact, I realize how loopy this post may sound anyways, so feel free to openly mock me in general.

Aaaaaaand..... away we go!

xxoo.S

First day of school

2011-09-04T21:26:00.000-04:00

It only took me a month to write about it - not because it was traumatic in any way - life, as it does, has gotten in the way a lot, and this blog seems to be the biggest sufferer. Whatevs, no more apologies - back to the topic at hand...

Maddie's first day of junior kindergarten was August 4th. The school on our street offers both regular and "modified" school calendars - since we had heard so many great things about the modified program, we chose to enroll her in that schedule - which means we lucked out with getting the most amazing teacher for Miss Madds. She's young. She's stylish (bonus points from Maddie for all her cool belts and scarves and shoes). And she's so lovely and patient and everything you think a Kindergarten teacher should be.

So yes, kindergarten is a big shiny bright spot in our rather grey, grumpified life right now. Maddie loves it. She's learning, she's making friends, she misses it on the weekends. Pretty much the best case result for the whole "sending your child to school for the first time" scenario. Lucky = us.

How adorably cute is my firstborn on her first day?

And how adorably ~~cute~~ embarrassing is this exchange between us - right before we walked her to school for the very first time:

Me: So - when we get to the gate, you will go in with the other kids to line up for school. Mommy and Daddy will say bye to you at the gate.

Maddie: {silence}

Me: But that doesn't mean we won't be thinking about you the whole time you're at school. We'll miss you while you're there and we'll be there to pick you up as soon as you're done.

Maddie: Mommy, you won't be sad that I'm gone. Don't cry, okay Mommy?

Me: Umm.... well, I might be a bit sad. But it's a happy sad. I won't cry Maddie. I mean..... well, I'll try not to cry, okay? I will miss you though. Such a big girl, going to school. It's a big step. Mommy is very proud of you, boo.

Maddie: Mommy, I'll be right back, okay? You don't have to miss me. And don't cry, okay Mommy?

For all those friends that knew me, way back when, whoever thought I'd be counseled by a three year old not to shed emotional tears - yes?? Jeebus...

xxoo.S

Remember me?

2011-08-11T00:08:00.000-04:00

Hey there. So I have so many excuses for not writing that this could turn into a post all about why I didn't write. Let's just say extensive home renos + my baby turning one + being laid off at the end of my mat leave = big mess of emotions + zero blog posts for oh? A Month And A Half...

And now...

The smoke is finally clearing. Life is returning to normal.

Renos will be done this week (and that's where fate intervenes with an evil "bwa-ha-ha-ha" at my naiveté in believing my contractor).

I am still without job and earnestly playing the lotto weekly whilst avoiding the crappy job of updating my resume.

My baby turned one and we celebrated with family. I wrote a sappy post about it many moons ago. And I also made a video... which I finally sat down and uploaded.

So without further ado... here it is - my tribute to my Katiebear in her first year...

Happy 1st Birthday Katie from Sara Vallier on Vimeo.

And if you can't view the video here for some reason - visit our Vimeo page here.

More updates to come - now that life is getting normal again... or at least less horrifically crazy.

xxoo.S

12 Months

2011-06-23T07:11:00.004-04:00

Dear Katie,

Oh my Lady Katharine. My Katiebear. My Kates. We made it - one year. I was worried you know, about how I'd handle two. I was worried there wasn't enough of me to go around I was worried that somehow our little family dynamic would be changed and upset by the addition of another.

What the hell was I worried about? It's like we were waiting for you!

You, my little grumpy little troll baby from the get-go.

You, my aggressive little miss who has scratched the shit out of both yourself and everyone within your reach.

You, who has managed to wrap everyone in the house around your teeny tiny little finger (including Seamus, who clearly has a soft spot for your cheeky little self).

You, who melts my heart with every belly laugh you give me. You make me work hard for those. The toughest sell I've had to dance for. So when I manage to garner a giggle, it's a triumph.

I couldn't have had two more different girls if I tried. Of course, you're just as clever, charming and gorgeous as your sister. But that's where the similarities end.

Where she is more cautious, you charge in, bull-like in your temperament. Headstrong you both are, yes, but you, are now, and will (likely) always be the louder, more insistent bull in the house (says the alpha bull - yes, I'll concede, you win my dear).

This may also just be a side-effect of your enthusiastic adoration of your older sister. Anything Maddie does, you want to do. Whatever she's eating, you (loudly) insist on sharing. You watch her so closely, wanting to play with whatever she has, whatever she's doing - it's been fun to watch how much sisters can teach each other (already). Patience. Sharing. Learning-absorbing-emulating.

And because of this, you do so many things earlier. Call it second-child syndrome - or is it because you just insist on it? You eat whatever we eat at meals - forget the baby food - that's been passe for a while now. You're climbing stairs. You're taking baths in the big tub. You roam around the backyard and play with whatever you can possibly get your hands on.

You are a one year old going on twelve. The attitude. The opinionated little grunts and screeches. The faces you make when you don't like something (or when you do - the beam is ear-to-ear).

And yet... you are still such my baby. More of a Mumma-suck than I could ever imagine. I love that you love me so much. Only I can snuggle you to happiness when you have your grump on. And when it's time for bed I'm the first one you come looking for, tugging at my leg and give me the "eat eat" sign (yes, this means a bottle in our world).

Ah, the communication - it's amazing how quickly it grows once it starts. Your first word was "tickle tickle" (which is so hilariously random) - but to that repertoire you're added "Dada" (for Daddy), "Mama" (for Mommy), "Duh-Duh" (for doggie), "Ah Dun" (for all done - and this was early! Food, the great motivator), "Hai!" (for hi, duh!), "Dat!" (for that - as in, "what's that?" or "lookit that!"), and "Nuh nuh nuh" (that one's no - every baby's fave). You also know the signs for "more", "eat", "water" and "all done". Oh, and you high five like it's no one's business. (That's kind of a requirement for our house, much to Daddy's dismay)

I can't believe a year has gone by. And soon I head back to work, and you off to daycare. And with that a whole load of new experiences for you to have, without me always by your side. I hate to think of this time ending, and yet, I know you'll be ruling the roost over there within a week, so I don't worry about you. Too much, anyways.

We love you so much my little Katiebear. Your strong-will. Your sloppy open mouth kisses. Your outraged shrieks when dinner isn't on the table fast enough.

All of it. All of you.

Love.

Love,

Mommy

Yes, you are.

2011-05-27T14:04:00.001-04:00

While making cookies today, I swat Maddie hand away from the bowl to keep her from eating her 48th bite of raw cookie dough:

Maddie: What Mommy?

Me: That's enough cookie dough for you bugaloo. You'll be sick.

Maddie: I know! I eat cookie dough all the whole long-long time, don't I?

Me [laughing]: You would, if I let you.

Maddie: Yes. I am the cookie monster! Yarrgghhhh!

Me [full on belly laughing at this point]: Yes, you are.

Maddie: I am very-very funny Mommy. I make EVERYONES laugh a long-long time.

Me: Yes. Yes, you do, bugaloo.

Well, maybe not "EVERYONES", but definitely me. Thanks Maddie - for the laughs - everyday.

xxoo.S

Free at last!

2011-05-25T22:09:00.000-04:00

We had a check up for Katie with our pediatrician today - I didn't mention it earlier because honestly, these appointments scare the crap out of me. We've done the tests and we know there's nothing "wrong" with her. But she still is off the charts weight-wise (well, at least I thought so, more on that in a sec) and every time we have an appointment where her weight is being checked I get this sick feeling in my stomach, like people in white coats are going to come around the corner and take her away from me, because clearly I can't raise a child properly and why oh why can't she just gain like 3 pounds and get back in the 25th percentile so they'll just leave us alone?

*breathe*

Okay - so aside from my neurotic thoughts - our appointment went well. In fact, I'd even say swimmingly well. Katie is now at 16 pounds 12 ounces, she's happy, chunky(ish) looking and hitting all her milestones. In fact, she didn't shut up the entire appointment and flirted her ass off with the pediatrician. (Meh - I say well done girl, go for the doctors...) And her height registered in at 29.33 inches. That's almost 2 full inches taller than Maddie was at a year. It's also in the 75th percentile. So yeah... she's growing. Just tall and skinny, I guess.

The interesting part of the appointment was right at the end. I asked him to print out the growth chart with all Katie's plots that he was looking at on the computer. He did and then said, "But take this with a grain of salt - these are old growth charts."

Old growth charts.

So I've been sitting here, for the past 4 months, worrying my ass off, because my child isn't even registering on the chart, and I find out that really, these are old charts so not to worry so much (in fairness - there was a growth pattern problem - which has been resolved - so it's not like I'm saying there was nothing wrong) - but really? Why would it be so difficult to plot on the current growth charts? A bit speechless to that idiocy.

Of course I came home and googled the current charts. They put her solidly in the 3rd percentile for weight. Instead of not registering on the chart at all, she's right there, in a shaded little part. That made me feel so much more comfortable - my only question is why the hell it wouldn't just be mandatory for doctors everywhere to use the up-to-date charts? Silly.

All in all - it's good news. And we got the all-clear. Which means I don't have to have any more heart-palpitating pediatrician appointments anytime soon.

Yay Katie. Chunk that monk!

xxoo.S

Eleven Months

2011-05-24T10:48:00.001-04:00

Dear Katiebear,

I know I say it every month, but holy crap, you are ELEVEN months old. That's almost a year. Which means Mumma is very behind on party planning. And also means our gorgeous vacation-style life of me being on mat leave and getting to spend every minute with you will soon be coming to an end. Let's not think about that right now...

Instead, let's talk about what a little lady you are becoming. Oh. My. Word. You are a master crawler and a bit of a curious cat. You like getting into almost anything you can. You LOVE to play with your sister's toys (she may not love this however), you love playing with Seamus' toys (who is far more willing to share, but ew, gross Katie, GROSS) and you love to climb things (like the stairs, any chance you get, usually while I'm making dinner, and giving me heart attacks - stop that too, okay?).

Along with crawling, you also love walking behind pretty much anything you can push. The little pushcarts we have specifically for this purpose. Or your piano. Or Maddie's shopping cart. Or even your exersaucer (which isn't on wheels, and therefore is a bit of a feat in itself - you little tank!).

Your newest trick is to be standing at your piano, look at me with a devilish grin, and then just "let go". While you stand there, wobbling and wavering for about 5-10 seconds (before you eventually lose your balance and have to go down to your knees), you look at me with this utter self-satisfactory grin on your face, as if to say, "Look Ma! No hands!". It makes me laugh. Every single time. Oh, you are going to be walking soon I think.

Your other trick that makes me laugh to no end is what I call your "puppy dog trick". You've learned to carry things around (like a random Little Person or the Wii remote cover), it's easier to just pop it into your mouth and crawl that way. And then you look up at me, give your head a little shake, as if to say (again), "Look Ma! No hands!" and then you belly laugh. Usually in response to me laughing. Because dude - you're not a dog! Stop carrying things around in your mouth! But also? Too funny.

So yes - not only are you curious and bombing around all over the place, you're also developing a great sense of humour. Doing your "jokes" and whatever it takes to get a laugh. We have another clown on our hands and that suits me just fine. Because you know what? Funny is good. Always.

You love our kitchen dance parties, where I turn up the music and you take turns with your sister getting twirled around to the latest on the radio. You love playing outside - crawling all over the grass and trying to get to wherever your sister is playing (usually on the slide or a swing and you want to be right there in the action). You love watching her at ballet or swimming - your eyes shine while I see you picking her out of the crowd of kids and you track her every movement.

As for eating - well, you pretty much eat whatever we're having for dinner, along with a kicker of some kind of baby food. You still have no teeth and I have no idea when they'll finally get here (I gave up watching for them, as I spent 5 long months doing that with your sister and it just wasn't worth it, they'll get here when they get here) ... but it means you are still a bit limited in diet. Not that we haven't given you steak (which you loved - medium rare of course) - but I'd so love for you to have some teeth so I could feel like you could actually chew/bite something. So, yeah, work on that, would ya?

What else is there to say? You are my funny, jokester, crazy brave/scary inquisitive baby who is a big mom-suck. And I'm not going to lie - I love that you light up like crazy when I walk in the room. I love you too my dear - very, very much. And I can't wait to see the little person you grow into - already so clever and funny - so like your sister and so different at the same time.

Happy eleven months, our little Katiebear.

Love,
Mommy

Where do I even begin?

2011-05-23T23:24:00.002-04:00

I hate when I have to do a massive catch-up post after being away for so long (away from here, not away on holiday - because, oy, that wouldn't be something I'd whine about). It's annoying and boring. But, I do have that OCD drive to actually "document our lives" and all ... so here goes:

THIS is why I've been so quiet of late. We are living through renovation hell. Notice, if you will, the two different wall colours going on. The grey on the right is the "new" paint colour. The horrible peach/beige on the left is old, and going (eventually - it's hard to make progress when you're painting in one hour segments). The basic builder's oak railing? Currently sanded within an inch of it's life and awaiting the next step - which is a dark stain on the handrail and white paint on the spindles. Our stairway has been a debacle for going on 30+ days. I think the hubs is ready to kill me - and yet, I don't see him grabbing any sandpaper to help get the job done, so he can bite me.

Add to that, our basement is currently being framed and there's hardwood going in on the main floor any day now. Yes, we decided to make almost every floor of our home unlivable whilst on mat leave, home with 2 kids. We are SO smart. Just promise me, when all is said and done, and I post my after pics you'll tell me how lovely everything looks and how worth it, it was. Because that's the mantra that just keeps running through my head right now to keep my sanity in check.

In other news...

Maddie had her kindergarten orientation where she met her teacher and got a goody bag and pretty much proved to me that she was growing up whether I liked it or not so I decided to try and embrace it and stopped referring to her as "my toddler". Her therapist 20 years from now thanks me for this concession.

She wasn't the only red-head in her kindergarten class - but she was the cutest!

Our dog Seamus has decided, with all the banging of the renos and the chaos that comes with a crawling baby, he would rather try his luck elsewhere ... so his new trick is to BOLT out the front door whenever someone opens it. Which, when you're hosting various workers and tradespeople in your home, is often. Which also means, my neighbours are now well-acquainted with my pj wardrobe (yes, I'm wearing pj's while strangers traipse in and out of my house - who gets dressed before noon on mat leave? am I right??), and Seamus may have given me about 8 heart attacks just last week by crossing the road during the 9am school rush. Dog for sale.. anyone want a dog?

Puppy dog eyes don't work with me - Imma gonna kick his ass.

We got blessed with gorgeous weather this weekend - which meant outdoor play. Katie is a master crawler now and just bombs all over the yard looking for more dog toys to chew on. Mmmmm, orange road hockey ball covered in dirt - you are so delicious! I love our backyard in the summer. It's not big, but we've kitted it out enough that it's fun for the kiddies. And now... more photos...

Watching Daddy get the pool ready

Katie's first pool experience. Unlike Maddie, there were no tears - and we call her a grump!?

What IS it with babies + sunglasses?

SO flippin' cute!

xxoo.S

It only took 10 months and 11 days

2011-05-04T12:10:00.000-04:00

But Katie slept through the night.

THROUGH.

That means from 7pm until 7am - no wake ups.

*happy dance*

Of course I woke up at 2am, 3am and 4am ... because, you know... I'm a trained seal.

And yes, I realize I just jinxed myself and she won't sleep through again until sometime past her 2nd birthday. But last night? LAST NIGHT SHE SLEPT.

*random high five*

xxoo.S

Content

2011-05-01T22:30:00.001-04:00

Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age...or maybe it was the two glasses of wine with dinner - but I had the urge to share: I am content. More than that - right now, in this exact moment in this sliver of time, I'm feel lucky. Fortunate. Just...happy.

Is that really effing annoying to write? Are you reading this rolling your eyes and snorting with disdain? If so, I'm sorry... because there's more...

We spent the weekend building a playset. This big cedar swingset / fort / slide / picnic table. It is, in a word, effing AWESOME. And fits so perfectly in the back corner of our backyard it's almost hard to imagine that it was never there.

Except for the sore arms. And backs. And just pure body exhaustion that comes from two full days of hard graft. But it's a good tired. A "job-well-done" kind of tired.

And I can already foresee hours upon hours of happy playtime for my girls. And that? Is one of the reasons I'm so content.

And thank you to Gramma and Grandpa Vallier for visiting this weekend and helping us get the monstrosity up. We couldn't have done it without your help.

My girls are happy.

And so am I.

Happy Sunday,

xxoo.S

Hippity Hop

2011-04-25T10:32:00.001-04:00

Easter came for two little girls this year. While Katie (obviously) didn't participate in the egg hunt this year - she loved watching Maddie (her favourite past-time anyways) and I had visions for next year's Easter already. Maddie got her "little Rapunzel" she so desperately pined for this past month. Katie got a new ball for the backyard and some Crayola baby markers to call her own.

The Easter Bunny even set a tea party to create more ambiance! What a clever bunny!

My childhood dollhouse has a little balcony on one side - from which "little Rapunzel" hung her hair all morning.

Matching dresses and white cardis - I love Easter. Also - say hi to a random Seamus pic - we took several "family" pictures before I thought about including the poor little scruff.

Hope your weekend was just as enjoyable!

xxoo.S

Ten Months

2011-04-23T21:31:00.001-04:00

Dear Katie,

You were a milestone machine this month my bug-a-lug - crawling, pulling up, cruising, first words. You knocked them out one after another. No wonder you couldn't sleep - too much going on in that little brain of yours.

We also survived your first fever this month. Oh my little one, you were so sick and it was so sad and my heart just broke for you. I did my best to make you better as quickly as possible - stomach flus are nasty I'm afraid - but you were miserable for almost an entire week.

Even through all of this, you smiled, giggled and belly laughed more this month than ever before. You love the tickle-tickle game, itsy bitsy spider and this little piggy. You love your books - we're now up to 4 books before bedtime - you grab for the next one before I'm done reading.

You're (learning to) liking the swing and being outdoors more and more. Our new habit is to go for walks with you in the Bjorn facing out, instead of in the stroller. This gives Mumma more exercise and I think you like being up high.

I can't wait for Spring to get here so you can see just how fun our backyard can be. There's water and sand and toys and slides and swings - so much to play with. And I know Maddie can't wait to have a little cohort to share it all with.

We love you my little sweetheart - from the top of your fuzzy little head to the tips of your nom-nom-nom toes. I can't believe it's been 10 months. Oh how time is flying...

Love,
Mommy

Ma-ma

2011-04-18T20:54:00.000-04:00

Katie spent yesterday and today pretty sick - fever of 104 type of sick. Not fun. No sleep. No keeping fluids down (until I started administering them by the 1/2 tsp via medicine dropper - never tried it before, will swear by this method forever, as it really worked at keeping her hydrated)....

Anyhoo - it meant she was Misery Incorporated. Wanted to be held. Then too hot to be held. Wanted to sleep. Too miserable to sleep. You know how it goes - and as Maddie would say, "She's just a baby Mommy, she doesn't know anything" --> I guess that would also go for the whole, doesn't even know why she's feeling so shitty, but she just wants Mama to make it all go away.

Apparently wants that to happen so bad, that she dug real deep and said "MA-MA" while I was cuddling her at one point today.

WOOT! Katie is on a roll, people! If this were hockey she'd be doing a double hat-trick or some other bullshit sports analogy...

xxoo.S

Milestone Mania

2011-04-17T21:25:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling the crunch of guilt when I think of the future conversation I am destined to have with Katie that will go something like this, "Mom, why did you write five bloody paragraphs every time Maddie achieved a 'first' when she was a baby, and you didn't even write about it in my baby book when I did?"

Uh.. yeah. I'm tired of apologizing for not writing and saying it's been a tough week because that started getting old about four weeks ago. I don't like people who make excuses so I won't. Let's just leave it at: I just plain suck at keeping up with anything these days. You don't even want to see the state of my laundry. Trust me.

Instead, let's talk about some Katie milestones, shall we? Because she is like a little wonder baby these days. I already mentioned in a previous post about her first word (and subsequent more "official" first word that she repeats all the time now - tickle tickle - which she said on April 8th). Then, that same weekend (on Sun, Apr 10th), she started pulling up (mainly on Daddy) to a standing position. And the look of pride/happiness/"look at what I just did!" look on her face is super-awesome-fantastic!

The very next day (Mon, Apr 11th) she started officially cruising - and by cruising, I mean slowly shuffling her feet while making the slowest of slow process around our ottoman. She is by no means cruising around all helter skelter. Oh no, it's slow. And she complains and whines the entire time, reaching for my fingers so she can "walk" instead. But hey, a milestone is a milestone, right? Moving right along...

As the week went on, she started to do more and more of the whole crawling backwards thing when she was on her belly, which then turned into the backwards scoot into sitting position (Tues, Apr 12th). Which is when I started thinking, hmm, she may just crawl (because just before Maddie figured out the whole forward crawl thing, she figured out how to back herself up into a sitting position).

And then.... and theeeeennnnnnnnnnn..... Wed, April 13th - forward motion! Not technically a crawl (yet), but she definitely was army crawling/dragging herself forward if you put something super intriguing (like my blackberry) just out of reach in front of her. Progress! "She'll be crawling by the end of April!" I would brag to everyone I spoke to.

And then came Friday, April 15th. She was getting up on all fours so easily all day and doing that adorable rock-rock-rocking motion they do (you know what I'm talking about). So sometime after lunch, Katie decided she wanted to get at Maddie's Barbie (much to Maddie's dismay). I quickly grabbed the camera, straight-armed Maddie aside and commandeered her Barbie to use as bait. (Which means Katie's first crawl video has Maddie protesting the entire operation quite loudly in the background while I wrestle her into the background with my left arm - classy, all-the-way-classy).

So there you go future-Katie - your wonder-week of milestones has been documented! Guilt?? Go away now please...

xxoo.S

PS - I'd love to say we spent the weekend helping Katie perfect her newfound skill, except both kids have been sick with some nasty cold/flu/cough-type virus. And yes, by "kids" I'm including The Hubs.

3.5

2011-04-09T22:35:00.003-04:00

Dear Madds,

You are three and a half. Or, as you would say, thee-an-a-HALF! Extra emphasis on the half, of course.

Oh my, you are such a little girl now. The baby chub is gone - long gone in fact. You're all bones now. Bony knees and elbows that dig into me when you crawl into bed in the wee hours of the morning. (Yes, that's your new trick and to be honest - I haven't the heart to kick you out - yet).

But while you're looking more and more like a little girl, there are still so many reminders of toddlerhood, as if it's trying as hard as I'd like it to, to keep it's hold over you. The toddler pot-belly you get after a big meal. The stumble-y toddler klutziness that comes when you're over-tired. The toddler pronunciation of so many words still.

And yet.. you've started calling me "ridiculous" (where'd you get that from, huh?). You want to use a knife to cut up your own meat. You can (but don't always) drink out of a "big girl" cup.

You count. You reason. You deduce. Hell, you find loopholes in the "rules" we give you.

You negotiate (very well, I might add). You dress yourself ("Does this match?" you're constantly asking). You compliment and share and act so considerately of other little friends that my heart just wants to burst with pride.

You stand with your hands on your hips in defiance if you're pissed at me about something. You tell me "I'm angry at you momma!" You test my limits and watch me try to rein in my frustration and temper and I can see when you're just pressing my buttons for the sake of it, because your eyes squint up in mischief while doing so.

You can exasperate me with your dawdling. And yet, so many times, you are dawdling because you're seeing things, noticing things that I never would have looked at. "Lookit that bird over there momma - why won't he fly over here and sit on my hand?" That was our first red robin of spring you saw the other day - and I probably would have missed it in my rush to the car, had it not been for you.

You colour oh so well these days - and take great pleasure in deciding just what colour to choose for the princess' dress. And you draw - you can draw FACES! And people (well, 4 lines for arms and legs coming directly out of the head - but it's effing awesome is what it is). And you so badly want to be able to write your name - so we practice - M-M-M-M-M-M-M - you try to write M's all day long.

You are such a picky eater that it makes my head explode - and yet, I think (knock-on-wood-knock-on-wood) that we are coming back around on this curve as you are more willing to try "one bite" or "just a taste" of things more and more instead of point blank refusing. Often you end at just that one bite, but the victory in just getting you to taste more foods is, in itself, sweet enough for now.

You sing. You dance. You're constantly performing and joking and laughing and trying to make us laugh. You insist everyone around you is "a clown!" - knowing perfectly well that it is, in fact, you that is the clown.

We started a new family tradition this year - to celebrate half-birthdays. No fancy party. Just a family affair.

For this half-birthday we went out, just you and Mommy, to see a Max & Ruby live show in Oshawa and then out to a restaurant for dinner. It was your first theatre experience and you loved it. Getting up in the aisles to dance or jump and clap - you couldn't hold the excitement of just watching your favourite characters up on stage - you had to move to express it. And then, at the restaurant, I introduced you to my childhood favourite - the Shirley Temple. You declared it DEEEEEELISHUS and only for fancy girls (like us) on fancy days (like your half-birthday).

I had such a fabulous time with you and I'm pretty sure you had a great time too. I hope it was a half-birthday to remember, although I know you probably won't. But I will. For both of us.

Love you my little boo.

Love,
Mommy

Well, she hit that milestone

2011-04-08T21:38:00.003-04:00

We (myself and the girls) spent the past week away visiting family in Kingston. As Maddie would say, "We visit lots of people's houses!" - yes, it was a busy visit, as it so often is, but luckily the kids didn't get totally wrang-y - as so often happens when we're sleeping at different houses, off schedule and such.

And... while we were away - although Katie didn't start the massive milestone of crawling, she did pop out her first "word"! (Yes, she's been saying da-da-da and ba-ba-ba and the rare ma-ma-ma - but really? I don't know if these really count).

This was clear. It was definitive. It was... "NO!" (in the face of being licked to death by my mom's overly zealous dog) - accompanied by a head shake and push away.

Well, we knew she was going to have some strong opinions, of course her first word is no.

(So was mine.)

I haven't heard a "NO" since (maybe that means she's been happy?) - but then I shared the "tickle tickle" game with her (a made-up game I play with Madds - tickling up her leg to a different body part each time, while you say, "tickle tickle tickle...... belly! [or whatever place you end up]" - yes, that does sound weird trying to explain it). Anyhoodle - she thought the game was bloody hilarious and belly-laughed her way through it. And now? Randomly, out of nowhere, she'll just start saying "tickle tickle". Yes, it's very mumbly and she sticks her tongue out whilst doing it (damn, I gotta get video of it because it's really the cutest thing ever) - but it's clear and she gets a massive grin if you say back to her, "tickle tickle!".

Yes, she's a flipping genius.

Of course she is. Was there any doubt?

xxoo.S

Nine Months

2011-03-23T10:37:00.002-04:00

Dear Katie,

Oh, what a month my little Katiebear. It's been stressful to say the very least.

We spent the month trying to fatten you up as much as possible - on strict doctor's orders. You moved from solely breastfeeding to solely bottle-feeding (you dealt with this far better than I did). And you moved away from jarred foods into the table-food arena of eating. This proved a bit challenging, because as much as you dislike the purees, your gummy chewing abilities still have a ways to go before we're offering you steak and the like.

However - we learned that you LOVE avocado when mixed with a bit of tomato and cream - guacamole for beginners. You also love broccoli, little hunks of overcooked carrot, pasta (any kind of pasta - avec beurre svp), salmon, yogurt and RASPBERRIES. Oh, how you love raspberries. Then again, they are the best fruit imaginable - so I totally get it.

Daddy and I did the unimaginable and left the country for 4 whole days this month. Grandma & Grandpa V and Bucky came up to take care of you and your sister. Apparently you were a sweetheart, taking your bottles like a pro, sleeping far better than you ever do for us, and enjoying the attention lavished upon you. It was so hard to leave - if it wasn't a free trip to Mexico in the final throes of winter, I'm not sure I would have gone. Again, I took it much harder than you did. You independent little thing.

This month also brought about your obsession with walking. Any chance you get, you'll grip onto my fingers and just start motoring towards whatever/whoever tickles your fancy. You've gotten quite good and can even stand for a second or two unassisted before starting to topple. I keep encouraging you to use the little push-walker, but you have absolutely no interest as of yet.

That being said - crawling is still a non-issue. You are starting to roll and scoot a bit more - but crawling seems like it may never happen. My back needs a break from all the assisted walking though - so we'll be "working on" your crawling this month...

Because - oh the frustration! You know when you want something. And to watch the frustration in your face when you flail and "air swim" to try and get there - oh it's comical and yet endearing, because you, my love, have a Temper. Yes, mastering the ability to craw would make everyone much happier I think.

You have also started "talking" so much more. We hear "da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da" all day long. I get the odd ma-ma-ma-ma -- usually when you're annoyed or grumpy or upset about something. "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba" has started to come out often too - I'm not sure if you mean bottle just yet, or just making sounds - but it's amazing to watch the words starting to form. You are going to be a chatterbox just like your sister - I'd bet the farm on that.

You're also learning sign language and you're already signing "all done" and "more" quite well - not consistently, but definitely when you want to get your point across. And you love the baby signing classes - you flirt with the teacher and try to "kiss" the little boy sitting next to you - I wish we had more baby classes to take you to, as you so love being around little ones your age.

Oh my Katiebear - you are turning into such a little girl - still so much baby, and yet I can see your personality poking through more and more and more.

I can't wait to see what this month brings - you are our sunshine - filling up the days with brightness.

Now, just learn to sleep, would you? Please?

Love,
Mommy

Sigh of relief

2011-03-22T22:04:00.001-04:00

Wow it's been a while and I've been silent. I do that when I don't like life - just kind of hibernate and deal with the now and my energies don't extend to complaining quite as vocally. Which is in direct contrast as to how I deal with minor hiccups - I'm usually quite a loud, complainy, bitch.

But now I can talk to you again, because on Monday we received word back on Katie's test results (the doc's office actually called me to give me the results over the phone! How refreshingly helpful is that?)... she passed them all and we're in the clear. We have a final follow up appointment with the pediatrician to wrap up the assessment and I'm guessing for us to ask any final questions, but yeah, we're done with the worry.

She is, as we hoped, just a tiny little thing.

Which she makes up for in massive attitude. Totally my girl...

xxoo.S

PS - I have to add - all the tests were performed at Toronto Sick Kids and W.O.W. is all I can say. Yes, there's a LOT of money put into that hospital - but it was the employees that we encountered that made a stressful visit just so much easier. They were all brilliant with Katie, brilliant with me - encouraging, efficient, comforting - pretty much everything you could hope for in a situation like that. What an incredible hospital with incredible staff.

This isn't an easy post to write

2011-03-03T11:05:00.000-05:00

We had our follow up pediatrician appointment yesterday - Katie is still not gaining weight at any progressive rate that makes the doctor happy. Our little 8 month old weighed in at 14 lbs 2 ounces - which is actually down 2 ounces from when we were at the doctor a few weeks ago when she was sick.

Awesome possum.

And so - now we have to do tests. Start ruling things out (hopefully). Start loading up her food with butter or full-fat cream. And offer formula only.

There's the rub for me. That little sentence, "Oh - and quit the breastfeeding, now's the time for formula only." cut through me like a knife.

And I know it's best for her. And it's not about me. And regardless I shouldn't feel guilty. And we breastfed for 8 months and thats something to be proud of. And. And. And...

I don't get it - that I could breastfeed my first so easily, without issues and while she was tiny, she was always roly-poly. Smack dab between the 10th and 25th percentiles, never a cause for concern. Always a great eater. It makes no sense that I have trouble breastfeeding my second. It's supposed to get easier over time, not harder.

And yet - that's the best I can hope for. That somehow my milk is nutritionally deficient and that I'm at the root of this, because the alternatives could be far worse and I'm not even going there yet, because we have visits to Sick Kids and tests to run and bottles to push and extra-caloric butter to add to mashed potatoes right now.

That's where my focus is and needs to be. The future will tell us what the future will hold. No point in worrying about it now.

The silver, ironic little lining?

We came home from the appointment, she was EXHAUSTED and drank a 4 ounce bottle before her nap like it was no big deal. Of course she did, right? Because we haven't been fighting with her to take a bottle for 5 months or anything. Maybe she saw the determination in my eye. Or pure panicking desperation...

Regardless - she's taken 4 bottles thus far - all 3-4 ounces at a time. So we are doing what we can do for now.

xxoo.S

Bright shiny star

2011-03-02T12:18:00.004-05:00

Even in my sleep-deprived grumpy bear-like state, I could help but brag about this...

That's right. She's a fucking genius.

xxoo.S

3am

2011-03-02T09:58:00.000-05:00

The deepest part of night. Where things still go bump and boo and you can't be convinced that the shadow is just a shadow.

It's a time of night when thoughts get dark - things are bigger, worse, more troubling, more concerning - nothing is as it seems and everything seems as it shouldn't.

Rambling internal monologue is depressing and veers into the fantastical. Reality is tenuous and sleep is like a forgotten dream.

And through it all, there is a little person who needs you. For comfort. For snuggles.

She is your rock. Your grounding reality. Her eyes stare into yours, wide and dark pools of blackness - trusting you to be her rock.

And so you swallow your anger. Your self-pity. You find reserves that do not need sleep. And you hum one more lullaby...

xxoo.S

The Binky Fairy

2011-02-28T20:52:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if I've ever really explained what was (WAS - we'll get to that in a second!) Maddie's obsession with pacifiers (binkies in our house). She used them from like, the first week I think? She was a baby who NEEDED a binky. Otherwise she'd get all screamy and irritating.

As she got older, the hold on binkies got stronger. She used them all.the.time. We were those parents with a kid in the grocery store talking around her binky. We started to get comments and jabs from random strangers, well-meaning friends and family -- "So when do you think she'll be ready to give those up?" we'd be asked -- answer? Never. She would never give these up if given the choice.

The past, oh? YEAR or so has been a nightly routine of rounding up every binky she owned - between 6 and 8 - she always slept with one in her mouth and one clutched tightly in each hand. And if you were REALLY good she'd favour you with a binky rub. That's a rub of the pacifier up and down your cheek - it... well, I never really got what she got out of this - but it was her comfort thing.

So yes, in a nutshell - she was hooked.

I think it was filling out the kindergarten registration forms that did it. Seeing as she'll still only be 3 when she starts class in the fall, it's already so scary. But sending a binky-obsessed 3 year old? She'd get tossed out. Or ridiculed or something equally horrendous and guilt-inducing.

So we started talking up the "Binky Fairy". You know, the fairy that comes and leaves a fantastically wonderful gift if you leave all your binkies for her...

Never heard of her? Think Tooth Fairy but pimped out for maximum bribery leverage.

Maddie was all over this idea and she loved that the Binky Fairy would then give out her binkies to other little baby boys and girls that needed them.

My child is nothing if not altruistic -- seriously, she's such a good person I wonder who her real mother is sometimes.

She started bringing up the Binky Fairy in regular conversation. Even (handily) started telling me what she was going to be leaving for Maddie as a present when she gave up her binkies.

Ironically - it was fairies... I'm not sure why this amused me.

And so, this past weekend, we rounded up all the binkies in the house, put them in a lovely little box with a note from Maddie on the front. Tied it up with ribbon (what? I like my presentations) and left it at the front door before she went to bed.

Getting to sleep was difficult that night - but once she was finally down, she stayed there - all night. And in the morning there was a massive package waiting on the front step for her. Fairies - lots of them. And a little fairy kitchen set thing to go in the fairy house we've been making together.

Oh yes - we've been making a fairy house. I didn't have kids to not play and craft and make things, okay?

The gift went down a bomb. Especially the glittery hand-written thank you note from the Binky Fairy. That's been carted around and enjoyed almost as much as the actual gift.

And through all this? Zero tears. Kind of anti-climatic really - I mean, did I underestimate her obsession or is it the level-headed Libra in her that has simply accepted her fate?

Who cares. I'm just so happy to finally be on the other side of it.

xxoo.S

Eight Months

2011-02-23T11:11:00.002-05:00

Dear Katie,

I write this while you slumber upstairs - sleep has been a challenge this month. You've been sick. You're teething. You're more aware now. And I give in - each and every time. But cuddles at 3am can sometimes be so nice (if I wasn't so bloody tired at the time). I'm hoping your teeth come soon - but I've learned (from your sister) that a watched pot never boils and have tried not to obsess over them too much.

Another challenge has been food. You hate baby food. HATE it. Where did you get this strong personality from, hmmm? And thus, far earlier than I planned, you have started on finger foods. Banana chunks dusted in pulverized cheerios. Pasta pieces from my chicken noodle soup. Rice, mashed potatoes, toast, pizza crust - you are a carb-o-holic my little tiny thing.

And yes, you are still very tiny, off the scale in weight on the growth charts at just 14 lbs 4 ounces (although that weight was taken at the doctor's office while we were both quite sick from a nasty cold). It's a bit worrying - but you don't look skinny - just tiny, with chunk-a-monk thighs. In the meantime, I feed you avocado almost daily trying to fatten you up...

You love playtime and your new favourite thing is to "walk" with Daddy. I never really gave much credence to the whole "walk before they could crawl" baby stories - but this may be you... With no interest in crawling and whole lot of protesting whenever you're on your belly on the playmat, I'm not sure how you're even going to learn to crawl. And yet, you're so happy to be cruising around holding our hands or the furniture. I think you see your sister running circles around you and you just want to get up into the action!

We start baby signing classes this coming week - I think you're going to love being around other babies, since you take the opportunity to SCREECH at any babies you see while we're out shopping. And I'm looking forward to getting out of the house just the two of us.

What else to say about 8 months monkey? You are strong willed, you are inquisitive, you are a flirt (with Daddy mainly - you only have eyes for him once he gets home from work), you are a hard audience (but I can get a giggle or two daily from you if I try hard enough), you are easily frustrated and will be very happy to be mobile soon - you are a 5 year old trapped in an 8 month old's body.

Don't grow up too fast okay? I still want to enjoy your babyhood - trust me, there's lots of time for the running, skipping, jumping you seem to want to do. Baby steps...

We love you, our little Katiebear, so very much.

Love,
Mommy

Not for weak stomachs

2011-02-22T08:03:00.000-05:00

I pondered actually sharing this story, because of the grossness factor - but it really was one for the archives, and so...

Our Family Day Monday was spent staying inside, all battling The Sick (with the exception of Maddie - the initial germ spreader). At one point I looked at the Hubs and said "I need a bath - alone" (this meant Miss M would not be notified of my bath, so that I could actually take it without her stripping down and jumping in uninvited). And so, for the next luxurious hour, I lounged and read a magazine cover-to-cover. Bliss.

Meanwhile, the Hubs took this opportunity to clean up after lunch, while Katie sat in the family room playing with toys. (Sidebar: she's such a good sitter now! I forgot how adorable it is to watch a baby sit and grab the nearest toy and start playing - makes them seem so much more grown up).

Except this "grabbing of nearby things" is what this story is all about...

So the Hubs takes a break from cleaning up the kitchen to pop an eye over at sweet Katiebear, and what does he see?

a) Katie happily playing away with her toys
b) Katie being accosted by too much "attention" from Maddie and/or Seamus
c) Katie happily noshing away the dog's rawhide bone

While a) would be best case scenario (and not make for much of an interesting blog post), and b) would usually be a safe guess, it is not today - unfortunately for all involved the answer is - c).

Yep. Apparently she had the rawhide bone (the yummy pre-chewed end!) all the way in her mouth, slurping and chewing away on it like it was the best thing she had tasted all week. He said when she pulled it out of her mouth there was a line of drool and a long, soggy, wet piece of rawhide that she was clearly trying to gum off the bone.

Say it with me.... ewww! Gross!

Of course, the Hubs immediately sprang into action - grabbed the bone from her (she protested, loudly), wiped her mouth out with a cloth (heh), and then washed the bone for good measure (huh?).

He did not, as I likely would have, grab the camera and take a shot for historical purposes.

Drat.

xxoo.S

35 things - part 1

2011-02-20T16:58:00.001-05:00

Sickness derailed my Family Day long weekend plans - Maddie's daycare germs took first Katie down and then me. Chesty coughing fits sound the worst when they come from a little bebe. Luckily for her, while she sounded wheezy, a quick trip to the doctor confirmed that it wasn't settled in her lungs and she has been officially declared on the mend. I, on the other hand, am not so lucky, and have been prescribed a 10-day treatment of antibiotics.

So I waved the Hubs off (to his parents house, where Maddie's spent the majority of the week already), and here I am. Alone and just a little bit melancholy all weekend - usually I like my quiet time in the house - but this weekend has been a bit lonely. And conversation only goes so far with a 7 month old...

During one of my more introspective moments I realized while I griped about my coming to the ripe old age of 35, I hadn't really embraced the wisdom that has come along with it. And with that wisdom, the awareness that there is so much more to learn.

So, in my rambling thoughts (and subsequent nonsensical rambling here), I've decided that this year, my 35th year, I will learn 35 things. New things. Big things. Small things. I doesn't matter - and for once I'm not planning it. I don't know what I will learn - I have no goals of what I want to learn. (Well, scratch that, I have plenty of goals of new things I plan on doing this year - but none are going to be categorized as a "must learn so I can check it off my list".)

Nope - I'm just going to fly by the seat of my pants on this one - and keep you (and myself) abreast of these new learnings. Because that's what wise old women do - they share the wealth of their years...

And so, taking stock of what I have learned in these first 33 days of my 35th year...

How to cook an omelet ~ I've always been a scrambled egg girl - but I had a hankering last weekend for a yummy mushroom + cheese omelet and instead of forcing the Hubs to make me breakfast for the umpteenth time, I decided I would learn how to do it myself. It was good. (The secret? Don't use milk and don't throw in the cheese until it's almost done). Voila. I do not have to deal with scrambled eggs for the rest of my life. (For the record - the Hubs omelets taste far yummier - so while I may have learned a new skill, it is by no means, honed)
How to hug better ~ I read a fascinating article in this month's Good Housekeeping (see? I told you I was old - actually, I only bought it because my Gwyneth was on the cover) - it was all about Gretchen Rubin's challenge to herself to fully and scientifically pursue happiness for a full year. She called it her "Happiness Project". And so, one of the takeaways that resonated with me - we should hold our hugs for 20 seconds - that optimizes the flow of chemicals that promotes bonding. So, next time you hug someone - give it 20 seconds - just try it and see if you feel different.

Umm - yep. That's all I've got - all I've learned so far, in my 35th year. Hopefully now that I've started this list, I'll get better at actually remembering what new items I've learned.

Enjoy the rest of your Family Day weekend - my family returns tonight - in time for bedtime, but at least I get to spend one day with them.

xxoo.S

Wordless Wednesday - Sisterly Love

2011-02-16T20:03:00.001-05:00

Now that's a precious moment...

xxoo.S

Chin hickeys and dog toots

2011-02-15T15:15:00.000-05:00

Katie has hit that adorable baby stage where she has learned to give kisses. Of course they are open-mouthed, slobbery wet baby kisses - and my aggro little troll-baby will grab my face/ears with her ~~talons~~ hands and pull me towards her until she's essentially biting my nose, chin, cheek - whatever she can get her mouth on. She's a girl who knows what she wants alright - and lately, that's giving my chin the whatfor whenever she's feeling particular amorous. Heh.

Not to be outdone, Maddie has picked up the rather disgusting habit of licking my face whenever she gets the chance. I think she's coming in for a snuggle and next thing I know she's got her tongue in my eye. It.is.gross. And the more I protest the grossness of it all, the more determined she is. I think I will bookmark this post "Things To Embarrass My Teenage Daughters With".

When I'm not getting facially assaulted by my offspring, I've been spending time in the backyard doing training romps with my pup. Who hasn't learned the concept of "gentle" yet. This means, while training him with treats in hand, my fingers have been chewed, nipped, mouthed and any other synonym for BITTEN that you can find. In freezing cold winter wind - that's a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

Sidebar: all this training is due to starting our "puppy" classes last week - we're practicing so Seamus isn't such an embarrassment next time. Because, OF COURSE he was the worst behaved dog in the class, right? To put it bluntly he was a barking, anxious, crazy, jumping asshole dog during our first class. And because I may or may not be Type-A-Crazy, I've spent an inordinate amount of time training the hell out of him to try and ensure he at least wins Most-Improved this week.

All this training has meant a lot of treats for our little Shame-Wow, and that in turn, has meant I get stunk off the couch in the evening. Damn. It is potently disgusting. Horrible breath and other gassy smells - definitely a strong CON in the list if you're considering dog ownership.

Ah yes, chin hickeys and dog farts - my life is so exciting.

xxoo.S

Music Monday

2011-02-07T23:02:00.001-05:00

So, remember when I mentioned my pink blog that I wrote for a few years? Some of my favourite posts were walks down memory lane via music. I don't know about you - but I definitely have soundtrack to my life - and at one time, actually prided myself on being fairly knowledgeable of new music/artists etc.

My passion has always been the classics - rock from Elvis onward pretty much. You show me a guitar-player with long hair and I'll show you my devil horns - booyah! I'm a big fan of the jazz masters - Ella, Nina, Louis, Dizzy, Dinah - they all have a special place in my heart. But I love(d) me some current stuff too - from the grunge-rockers I cut my teeth on in highschool up to the "alternative" "indie-rock" "independents" that carried my through university. I'm embarrassingly out of touch nowadays - but as I gain more free time (and an ipad for my itunes library) I want to re-acquaint myself with some of the new artists. And don't get me wrong - I'm not against the top 40's - it's feel-good music and sometimes you just wanna dance...

For now - I give you my first "music memory" post from back in the day - along with my commentary (because of course I can't do anything without commentary)... oh lord. This could be embarrassing. And the blogs (friends) the post originally linked to have long abandoned their blogs - but they know who they are...

*************************

I was in Montreal with some colleagues yesterday, and as we were waiting for our flight, we got to talking about how a song can totally take you back to a time and place, good or bad, in memory. It's so true and yet, put on the spot, I couldn't think of one song that reminded me of last December.

So I'm adding a new series of posts... Music Memories (or M+Ms as they will undoubtedly be called from now on)
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol - forever will remind me of the "Irish Weeks" as we've called them - that period in October when we were blessed to have 2 of our fave friends stay with us for a couple of weeks. They were loving this song and totally are responsible for getting me fully into this band. And for those of you that are scoffing right now at the ballad-y pop-y stuff this band has - take the advice they gave me - just listen to the words - really nice stuff. ~I actually listened to this album a tonne while I was pregnant with Maddie and to this day this song immediately brings me back to: me, with a massive belly, driving too and from work in the summer of 2007. Still gives me that nervous, what the hell am I doing having a kid, OMG, butterflies in the stomach-feeling.
My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas - wow, another cheesy submission you're thinking. Well, maybe - but this song will always remind me of a Fall 2005 weekend spent with the Gene Goddess herself, having a blast and a Sat night where we danced our asses off. To me, this really was a turning point in what had been a bit of a rocky friendship in recent years - but this weekend was the turning point where we both found a common ground and discovered what we liked about each other again and finally starting hanging out on regular basis after way too many years of not doing so. ~Oh I could be all embarrassed about this song choice - but then you'd be missing the point! I found my friend again people! And I had missed her. *tear*
Santa Monica by Everclear - and oldie, but a goodie. This was actually my fave band for a while back in the 90's, and will always remind me of that year before uni, where I worked at a Licence Bureau with one of my best friends + her mom - we were the only 2 left in Kingston as all our friends did college/uni directly afterhighschool, so we had plenty of some good times listening to this album. ~Shout out to Boggs! Love you my girl! We saw this band live twice I think - once at the debacle known as Woodstock '99. My shirt got ripped off (while crowdsurfing - so I think I may have asked for it), we bought fake magic mushrooms, bottled water for $8 and corn on the cob with dirt on it. It was real. Real gritty.
Chloe Dancer by Motherlovebone - many of you may not know this band - but they were Pearl Jam before Eddie. And they had a pretty great album that epitomized the Seattle grunge scene back in the very early 90's. This song was featured on the soundtrack for Singles and I fell in love with it. I listened to this song over and over and over again - just ask Rob. ~To this day this song gives me chills. And takes me back to a time of ripped jeans, teenage angst and late night phone calls.
Fourth of July by Soundgarden - writing the above bullet just reminded me of this song. Ahhh, Ruttan - I miss you dude. ~Yup, I still do.
Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes - okay, getting a little more current - sorry for the flashbacks folks... this song was way overplayed on the Edge in 2003, but totally will always remind me of getting ready for work in the morning while Hubby waited patiently (or not!) - we only had 1 car at the time, and were both working in Markham, so carpooled in everyday. As hellish as it seemed at the time, it was a nice way to have more chats with him, especially as we were working 14 hour days, and there never seemed to be any other time to catch up. ~Hmm - listening to this song again didn't quite take me back to the time, but I'm glad I penned the memory. Those mornings could be tense - but I did love the chats we had while sitting in traffic.
Riot Van by the Arctic Monkeys - great memories of Spring 2006 with Hubby. We were both in love with this CD from start to end, but had both (separately) decided this was the best song on the disc by far. No specific memory for this song, just one of those really great couple of months in life - you know, where you look back and totally wish you could relive that time - we had a wicked trip to San Fran, things were good at work for both of us, the weather was getting warmer and we were looking forward to the summer - love those kinds of memories... ~Now this song definitely does still take me right back to that moment in time - you know, where the memory is so strong you can smell it? I smell San Francisco when I hear this song - it was a fun trip and just a free, happy time.

Well, that was a fun walk down memory lane for me. Don't worry, I'm not going to be doing this every Monday....

xxoo.S

Maybe she's just tiny

2011-02-03T22:09:00.000-05:00

After our follow up appointment with our regular doctor re: Katie's weight we were referred to a pediatrician. Well, perhaps notsomuch referred as I bullied her into giving us the ability to get a second opinion...

To-may-to, tom-ah-to...

Our appointment with the pediatrician was yesterday - and he confirmed that yes, she was underweight. Or "not gaining as quickly as we would like to see her gain".

Before I go further, I just want to reiterate - this doc is goooood. As in - he takes concerns seriously, isn't (very) condescending, and very much loves kids (which is nice to see in a pediatrician I suppose).

After asking many family health history questions (Crone's, Celiac, allergies) and observing her, he came to the opinion that it's probably nothing. She looks good - she is growing (just slowly) - and she's hitting her developmental milestones (v good). He's of the opinion that perhaps my milk isn't as good (fatty) or plentiful as it should be (yes he said it much more nicely than that - but I'm boiling it down to what he meant) - he'd like to see her supplemented with formula more if possible - but is also all, meh - don't change your life over this, if she won't take a bottle, don't wreck your head about it.

I may be getting a prescription for domperidone. We will be trying more and more with formula and a bottle or sippy or anything she will bloody well drink out of. Solids are going to be pushed harder and more - but he's not suggesting we add butter or full-fat cream to her food... yet. (yes! this is actually something they suggest with underweight babies - crazy, non?)

We have another appointment in a month to check on how she's doing. He (awesomely) closed out the appointment by looking at me and (sincerely) saying - "I don't want you to worry about this. She's fine. F.I.N.E. She'll probably start gaining again just as suddenly as it dropped off and in the end, this won't matter - it won't affect her growth or development or anything. That's what I want you to take away from this - that she will be okay and not to worry more than necessary."

I love him a lot for doing that. Because clearly I'm freaking the fuck out. She's small - not registering on the growth charts small. Screams when you try to feed her baby food. Fights (as of today) and refuses to have a spoon jammed in her mouth. Only really chews on a bottle and drinks nothing vigorously except for water from a sippy cup. All that scares the shit out of me. She doesn't look skinny. But she is petite. And doesn't seem to like eating.

And that's weird to me. And I'm not used to it. And that adds up to me getting freaked out. But I'm thankful there's no testing or official "concerns" for now.

Very thankful.

xxoo.S

Why write?

2011-02-03T11:37:00.001-05:00

I had a friend jokingly refer to me as a "mommy blogger" a while back and I was quick to deny the label. Not because I don't like the label, but I can't group myself in with women that actually spend time, effort, even programming skills on their blog. I don't... do any of that. I think at one time I thought I'd start on twitter and promote myself and connect with some companies and do some contests and, and, and.....

Nope. Not for me.

I don't do Twitter. It's a time-suck of massive proportions, and I'm not sure if it's my distractability, but I get on there and then look up and BAM! 2 hours have gone by. And the few times that companies did contact me for samples or contests or whatever (ages ago - when I was trying out Twitter and they were fooled into thinking I was potentially Someone Important) - well, I just looked at their lovely PR emails and thought to myself, bleeeeurgggh. Not into it. And I'm certainly not so important that I am "Too Busy" for everything - but yeah, no. Just.... not into finding the time to do it...

But still - I blog. And why? Why put all this out into space if you don't want to promote yourself and do stuff or get free stuff, right? Honestly - I just like to journal. That is it full-stop. I've been doing it for years and years and years (trust me - my old Annie Diary is in my basement as we speak with dozens of entries about my dog and my step-brother and the neighbourhood friends that I would bitch and moan about constantly) (guess some things never change) (yes, I was six years old at the time).

I loved writing for myself - and (after one mortifying incident where my mom found my diary and grounded me for the contents of it) I never minded sharing what I wrote. Sometime in our early twenties, I actually let my closest girlfriends sit and read through some of my high-school diaries while we shared some glasses of wine and laughed our asses off at my drama and self-pity and teenage angst. It could've been embarrassing - but really, it was just funny.

I think I have a few more notebooks from my early twenties (uni days) - but then I stopped. I was a sporadic writer by then at the best of times, and I think I just felt too old to be writing in a diary anymore? I'm not sure - I don't think I really thought about why I quit at the time that I did - I just stopped.

And a few years later discovered this new-fangled-thang called blogging and ba-dum-dum-dum... I was back into it instantly. True to form - my first blog was all about my wedding plans - because that was what I was LIVING for at the time (planning a wedding in 4 short months was like crack-cocaine for this planning diva - I was in heaven!). I was living, eating, breathing all things nuptial and wanted to share what was happening with family/friends - and so I blogged it.

When that was over, I started my next blog - it was more irreverent and not a URL I actually gave out to family. I still love that lil' pink blog and have never killed it - but, no, will not be linking to it anytime soon. It is like a "nutshell" of my mid-twenties. Obsessed with shopping, how I'd spend the lottery, hot movie stars that I fancied at the time, interspersed with angry rants about stupid people (bad drivers, stupid dry cleaners - I lived in the city at the time, there was no shortage to my rants). I was grown up and yet so immature. It was life "before kids". (Maybe that's why I hold onto it)

While I was writing my pink blog, I had more requests from family on updates about newly married life - you know - those that loved the wedding blog and wanted more of us (of COURSE they did!)... so this blog was born. And it was a "family" blog - it's only purpose was to update all what we were up to... but then Maddie was born and it evolved - just like I evolved. Less about me - more about her. Less about us - more about US.

And it's worked out just fine. Family, friends - hell, even people I don't even know all that well - they are kept up to date on our little corner of the world. I worry less about the baby books and making sure I "remember" that hilarious day we had, because I know if I write about it, I'll always remember it.

So, I guess when it comes down to it - I write for me.

It's not for you.

And it's not for them.

It's for us.

xxoo.S

This is our life - aka Snippets

2011-01-27T21:48:00.000-05:00

We had a follow up appointment to check Katie's weight progress today. In two weeks she's gained 4 ounces - which puts her at 13 lbs 13 oz as a 7 month old - still not even registering on the growth charts. Our "fantastic" (heavy, sarcastic air quotes being used here) family doc isn't worried - thinks all is fine, because you know, she looks okay. I requested quite strongly for a pediatrician referral and she finally gave up arguing with me and said okay. So now, we wait and see what he says...
Maddie started ballet last Thursday - through the community rec program (meaning it was only $30 for 7 weeks - which suits my cheapass just f.i.n.e.). She loves it but is clearly the youngest and possibly least coordinated kid in there. I watch her clomp around the gym with a massive grin on her (and my) face... best $30 I ever spent.
The Hubs was awarded with a 4 day holiday in Mexico in March from his employer and I'm.... not so much looking forward to it (yes, you can punch me in the face right now). It's not that I don't crave some sunshine and escape from the winter - but it also means 4 days away from my Kates (Maddie too - but let's face it - she'll probably barely notice we're gone). The Hubs refuses to even entertain the idea that we bring her along with us. Oh and it also means I need to find a bathing suit that covers, erm... EVERYTHING. I may pop over to 1928 and buy a suit from then.
That being said - I am trying to make good on my resolution to lose weight - I even attended a spin class yesterday. It fucking hurt. At the time it hurt - you know how much it hurts the next day when it already hurts while you're doing it? Let's just say, going up or down stairs was tragic for me today. TRAGIC.

Yep - that's us in a nutshell right now...

xxoo.S

Why do kids do this?

2011-01-26T16:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight, while eating a pre-dinner snack of frozen peas...

Maddie: I think a pea came out of my nose.

Me: I don't think so. Unless you put one up there - DID you put one up there??

Maddie: No.

10 seconds later

Maddie: I think there's a pea up my nose.

Me: How did it get there? Did you put a pea up your nose? You're too old for this...

Maddie: I didn't. Maybe Katie did it.

In the end the pea was too far up for any kind of extraction - and while trying to get her to blow it out (while blocking the other nostril) it disappeared. I think she may have sucked it up so high it went into her throat. At least I hope that's what happened. I don't see it anymore...

xxoo.S

Seven Months

2011-01-23T21:31:00.002-05:00

Dear Katie,

What to say this month? Your personality is getting stronger and louder and more growly (yes, growl-y)... I think we're going to have our hands full with you. Is it possible there's a stronger, more stubborn, more opinionated person in this household than me? I think, perhaps, yes...

Having been on solids for over a month there's still nothing that makes you crazy happy - no little bird with her mouth wide open here. Most meals are spent with you fussing or groaning or (yes) growling your way through it. You are (marginally) happier if you have your own spoon to play with - and you shut the hell up if we give you something in the mesh feeder or a cookie or some other self-feeding/gnawing item. What with all this behaviour and your tendency to grab desperately at anything on my plate or within reaching distance while on my lap, my conclusion is this: I think you're D.O.N.E. with the baby food. Trust me kid - I can't wait I can just throw some things on your tray and let you go to town --- but I'm pretty sure you need to be eating the pureed stuff a bit longer. We'll see - I recently acquired a baby food mill and with that means you can start eating (or getting a taste of) what we're eating. Mmmmmmm!

I'd love to say that all this eating and nursing every couple of hours means you're busting out of your clothes - but nope. You're tiny. Alarmingly so, in fact - and so we will have another appointment with the doctor next week to check your weight again and see if you've managed to get back on the growth charts you so recently fell off of. That being said - you don't LOOK small. You're still roly poly and have chunkamonk thighs - but the scale says what the scale says...

In other, happier news - you added a new skill this month. SITTING. You love to sit and pay with an assortment of toys around you. Rarely falling backwards anymore - I still put the pillow behind you just in case - but you'll sit without toppling for an hour at a time. This also means you're within licking distance of the dog - luckily you and Seamus are developing a lovely little bond - you protest his "kisses" far less than the washcloth cleaning your face after a meal.

The sleep - well, it's still up and down. We've done a bit of sleep training this month, because the hour long routine of rocking/walking/patting of the bum was getting a bit - tiresome - to say the least. And so you've cried far more than you or I or Daddy would like. It's not been fun. And you are STUBBORN. You fight sleep. You hate to see someone leave your room. You protest it all. LOUDLY. Oh Katie - please just learn to love sleep like the rest of us do. Because damn... I need to buy shares in cover up for the dark circles beneath my eyes.

We're going to be starting baby sign language class. I loved this with your sister and I think it would be a nice change for us to go to a class where there's other babies, instead of being carted around to 3 year old classes/groups. And you're already so interested whenever I'm signing to you - such a smart girl...

That is you my Kates - strong willed (already), stubborn (already), but still an absolute sweetheart that loves to flirt with Daddy, throws her arms up in the air and grunt/smile/grunt whenever I walk in the room, and smile while reachreachreaching for Maddie whenever she's near.

Just making yourself known... I get it. And love you for it.

Love,
Mommy

PS - the eye colour? Is still kind of changing - sometimes it's grey, often it's hazel, and sometimes (thankfully rarely) it's a light brown... Don't think it's decided just yet. But blue? Not even on the radar anymore...

It's a milestone day!

2011-01-20T15:43:00.000-05:00

Maddie just went to her first dentist appointment. She was (understandably) trepidatious - regardless of how much I tried to hype it up as a fun, exciting event - she was onto my game and eyed everyone in the office as warily as you should eye up a "helpful" stranger whilst backpacking thru Europe.

When the dentist came in I almost laughed out loud. Because he was tall. Like, really really fucking tall. So tall that it was hilarious - you know? (Am I the only one that wants to laugh out loud at really tall people? Is that strange?)

He was, of course, lovely and thankfully resisted rolling his eyes at me when I a) preemptively apologized for the state of her teeth and/or cavities (blaming her juice habit like one apologizes for their crazy alcoholic grandfather), b) tried to sit on the chair with her and only succeeded in swiveling it around at top speed whilst he was trying to patiently explain the instruments to her, and c) insisted on taking a look in her mouth when he said "yes, she does have her 2nd molars" like he wasn't the expert or something?

And so - no cavities, no (lasting) trauma, and she got to pick out a "prize" from the "treasure chest". And another milestone chalked up for Maddie...

xxoo.S

She survived

2011-01-18T21:56:00.001-05:00

Katiebear that is - she survived. Go Hubs at keeping daughter #2 alive and well and (relatively) happy for 24 hours! And a big shout out to the MIL for playing wingman and helping out - I know he couldn't have done it without you!

The highs? When she was happy, she was very very happy... she played, she smiled, she flirted. The lows? She refused every.single.bottle. Apparently they tried hot, they tried cold, they tried cold with ice. It was served in 4 different types of bottles (including the "just like breast!" Tommee Tippee bottle I picked up the day before I left - guess what Tommee? You're not just like breast and Katie HATES you!).

The kid hates bottles. This is definitely a "chalk one up for the parenting fail" column ... we were lazy in early months and she's stubborn.

Instead she ate A LOT of cereal. Cereal all day. Cereal before naps. Cereal at 12:30am when she woke up looking for some comfort.

And how did she repay all these efforts? By sleeping thru until 7am. Yay them. They got more sleep than I did. Stupid hard uncomfortable hotel mattress...

And so experiment in MommaFreedom worked. You can in fact leave a 6 month old with 2 very capable adults for full 24 hours. She will survive and you don't (necessarily) have to drink your way through coping with the guilt.

But the cosmos tasted oh so good...

xxoo.S

PS - I'd post a recap of my weekend with the ladies - but really, all you need is a nutshell: Spa=relaxation. Shopping=FUN. Drinking/Laughing/Primping in hotel room=hilarious. Dinner in private room=delicious and fancyschmancy. Dancing=lame as fuck (not because we're old, but because the DJ was horrible).

But didn't we all look purty?

When I grow up I'm going to get drunk and go dancing

2011-01-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you're turning 35? THIRTY. FIVE.

First you have a heart attack and wonder what the hell happened - because dude, 35? That's FOR SURE grown up material. I can't start sentences with "When I grow up I'm gonna...." anymore. I need to buy sensible furniture and think about how much I'm putting into RRSP's and eat bran everyday.

Put another way - 35 is a whole 'nother AGE BRACKET. I've gotten used to ticking the "25-34" age bracket when I sign up for something. It's a nice age bracket. I remember being 25. That means 34 isn't so old right? Since they group us in with the 25 year olds...

Age bracket of 35-44 is a bit lack-luster. It's boring grown-up-ville where I buy Cheese Whiz and worry about the weather and forget to sign permission forms. I'm mere steps away from getting a sensible haircut!

And so - this weekend... I've gathered some good girlfriends. I've rented the largest suite Pantages Hotel has to offer. I've bought a cocktail dress that (sort of) hides all my mom-body-frump. I have 4 pairs of shoes/booties/shabooties shortlisted for consideration. I have the spa booked. I have dinner at a fancy-shmancy "Supper Club" booked. We are on the guest list at a dance club where we've been promised not to be the "oldest" people in attendance.

We will be pampered. We will drink. We will laugh and dance and talk and dance. And then we will drink some more.

I'm terrified of leaving my bebe overnight when she doesn't take a bottle and is a total mom-suck. I'm terrified that I don't have the stamina for a "session" after becoming so old and decrepit. I'm terrified that I will not be able to pull off the electric blue tights that I plan on wearing.

But I'm looking far too effing forward to it all to let it bother me that much.

xxoo.S

6 month stats

2011-01-11T13:00:00.002-05:00

So Katie had her 6 month shots today - which she took like a champ (of course). All looks great - but a little concerning was her weight gain (or lack thereof). She weighed in at 13 lbs 9 oz. When you plot that on the chart that puts her off the graph - as in, she doesn't register on the growth charts... super. awesome.

Of course our fabulous family doctor is "not concerned" and suggested that we make an appointment in another 6 weeks to check on her weight gain.

Um, I'm no doctor, but that seems a bit late to be checking progress in my opinion... Especially as she's pooping about 6 times a day and it's all very mucousy and green and gross. Personally, I'm a little worried she may have a milk allergy (did you know dry milk powder is the 2nd ingredient in all baby cereals? I didn't even know to check until today, and there it is - hi milk!)... so we're avoiding the baby cereals and keeping to plain fruits, veg and some chicken for the next few days to see if it makes any difference. And if it doesn't, I'll be asking for a pediatrician referral. Because I'm neurotic like that...

In other (happier, more normal) news - she's 26-1/4 inches long - which puts her in the 25th percentile for height. Yay! Long, skinny bebe.

Gratuitous Katie pic doing tongue acrobatics

xxoo.S

Seamus

2011-01-10T11:02:00.001-05:00

A little late to the announcement.... but we got a dog! He came to live with us on December 27th by way of an early birthday surprise courtesy of the Hubs. Yes, he who had vowed no dogs for our house at least for another 2 years.

My sister-in-law's mom is a breeder of Westies and she had one last pup to sell - who wasn't going to be registered because he had a floppy ear or something like that... Small dog, non-shedding, happy, good-natured breed - check check check! So I had sent the email of photos and info onto the Hubs with a message of something like, "PUUUUUUUHHHHHH-LLLLEEEEEAAAAASSEEEE".

And he smiled and said, "Nope - we absolutely can't handle another thing to take care of right now."

I was pissed, and annoyed, and thought I could convince him around - but I was also sick as a mother-effin' dog and had a lot of the fight zapped out of me. So while I grumbled, I really didn't mount an incredible fuss.

Little did I know he had already emailed the breeder, made arrangements for a delivery and gave her the heads up that his wife may send an email back telling her no, and that she should just ignore any correspondence from me.

This was such a surprise for me and kudos to the Hubs as it's totally not his style to be super-stealth and arrange things behind my back like this. I had NO idea it was happening, or that it was even a possibility... he played his part well and I truly had no inkling he had caved.

And so December 27th - he headed out to pick up something from the store, and returned, with... a puppy!

Seamus came knowing his name, paper-trained, and a pure cuddle monkey. He's the perfect addition - already a momma's boy and has Maddie trained to feed him parts of her dinner at mealtime.

He's learning to go outside (this is a long, tortuous affair when I'm all distracted by the other little monkey) and he won't stop eating his own poop or digging in my garden... but at the end of the day, when the girls are tucked into bed and I'm finally getting to enjoy some "me time", he hops up onto the couch and snuggles up and makes me forgive all.

xxoo.S

Resolve this...

2011-01-06T23:09:00.001-05:00

I've always been a big fan of New Year's Resolutions (apparently such a big fan that I CAPITALIZE it)... fresh start. Putting your best foot forward. Making a change for the better... it's always so intriguing to try and be a better person, you know?

Last year I attempted to become a nicer person. Well, actually I think I tried to be more patient (as I really hate being nice). I give myself a 5 out of 10 on successfulness. Having a 3 year old actually forces you to be more patient and yet at the same time makes it almost impossible to be. And if you asked the Hubs, he'd probably disagree I'd made any progress... Heh. Guess what? Trying to change your personality is probably not best done via New Year's Resolutions.

So... instead - this year, I'm going all cliché... and I've made my goal to be to lose 25 pounds. Now this will actually require some sort of effort right? Like hitting up the gorgeous club-quality elliptical I have in my basement? Possibly. Maybe even attending a class or two of something somewhere? Most to the likely. And not eating leftover Christmas shortbread before bed every evening... yeah - that's probably gotta end.

I'd love to say I'm going to take an official "before" picture and then chronicle my progress here. But eff it - that'd just be a snoozefest for us all, and let's be real... you're not seeing my "before" pic. That's just a.... no.

But I did want to put it out there. I'm always far more accountable when I've actually made my "declaration". Or I just feel even more guilty when I fall hard and fast off the wagon. Whatever.

So it has been declared. So it will be.

(That sound official enough?)

xxoo.S

Holiday recap in haiku

2011-01-01T16:46:00.001-05:00

holiday sickness again

sleepless nights survival mode

bite me tradition

presents under tree

grandparents keep their promise

one toy for each girl

santa brought us skates

so many rinks being built

skating toddler ~ scary

a quiet new years

warm milk reece bites and bebe

perfection for me

early birthday surprise

little westie pup for me

seamus welcome home

xxoo.S

Six Months

2010-12-30T14:41:00.006-05:00

Dear Katie,

This post is exactly a week late - sorry about that... but you see, that's what happens when your six month birthday falls 2 days before Christmas. While we're all sick. And it's Maddie's last day of daycare for the year. And I have an Open House to make food for.

But enough with the excuses already...

You, my dearest chubby monkey Katiebear, are six months old. SIX! That's halfway to a year and it's all happened so quickly - where did my darling little grumpy troll go? Although you still let out a good ol' grooooooannnn every once in a while, for the most part the grumpiness is far behind us.

Left in it's place is a happy, content, thoughtful little baby. You smile your dimpled little cheek at anyone who pauses and says hello. Never are you happier than sitting in someone's lap while you watch all the action - specifically your sister as she bops around playing and chatting.

You're still pretty stingy with your giggles though missy - how hard are you going to make us work for it??

You hit a big milestone this month, starting solids! After noticing your increased interest in anything I may be eating, I started thinking we should start soon. Then after a lunch out at Kelsey's early this month, wherein you grabbed pieces of salad off my plate and tried to shove them in your mouth - well, let's just say I stopped and grabbed some rice cereal on the way home. You're already up to two meals a day - and so far everything gets eaten, but nothing has been a clear winner. Butternut squash seems to be your favourite thus far - but with all the preparations for Christmas, I haven't really had a chance to make a lot of food for you yet - we'll see what you think about cauliflower or turnip later this week... yum!

Another milestone you accomplished this month is rolling - as of December 20th in fact - you can now roll from your belly to your back whenever you damn well please. Interestingly though, after mastering this skill, you've since abandoned all interest in it. Fickle little thing...

Sleep is still a relatively non-issue. You stopped wanting (or allowing) to be swaddled this month... and so you sleep in a mixture of back and belly - depends on you, depends on me, depends on what position you get yourself into throughout the night. Lately you've been awakening far more at night, but I'm trying to just attribute that to the ridiculous cold that is making it's way through our house and not because you have decided to no longer enjoy sleeping in 8 hour stretches... oh lordy, please don't be changing that up, because that? That, was niiiiiiiice...

Other stuff you do now that you didn't do a month ago:

Bang things off other things.
Reach out and grab stuff - pretty much anything within reach while sitting in your bumbo at the table.
Get really annoyed if I take something away from you or move it out of reach (like my coffee cup - lady, it's hot - trust me you don't want it).
Say "da-da-da-da-da" all the time and (just recently) "ma-ma-ma-ma-ma". I'm not getting too excited, I'm sure you don't really mean me, but still - love hearing the first sounds!

We've started sign language with you - milk, more, please, sleep and eat - you watch me so intently, I love that you look like you know exactly what I'm trying to teach you. And already you are doing the milk sign, or are you just flexing your fist? I'm not sure - but we'll lean towards genius prodigy and say, you're signing already!

Sitting up is the next step - you love trying to keep your balance and playing toys with your sister. I expect the novelty of having a younger sibling is going to wear off shortly once you're able to really get in there and take the toys away from her. I say - go to it - she needs a lesson (or 500) in sharing anyways. And when all else fails - just pull her hair!

Love you my clingy little spidermonkey. My grunty little troll. My smiley, dimply little Katiebear.

Love,
Mommy

PS - I think the jury's in on your eye colour - from dark blue on the outer rings, to a bit of green and then light brown closest to your pupil. I think you, my darling, officially have hazel eyes. And yes, they're gorgeous.

PPS - Ugh - I realize just how idiotic my pics look as I MIS-SPELLED "month". L-a-m-e.

I could blame it on the Hubs and my mom being in the room and distracting me with all their "She's gonna fall!" exclamations (not like I haven't been doing this every month for the past six).

Or I could blame it on being sick and tired and rushed and trying so hard just to get the photo DONE already.

Or I'm a just a jackass.

I did have it spelled correctly in the first pic, before she kicked them all over the place... really. Honest, I did.

Took the words right out of my mouth

2010-12-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

After a rather late evening (entertaining friends over the holidays is always fun, but makes those 4am wake ups especially difficult) we were taking advantage of a bit of sleep in courtesy of the girls. That is, until I woke up to hearing Maddie chit-chatting away through the monitor that is in Katie's room.

When I poked my head into the room, Maddie was standing beside her crib on the bathroom stool, trying to "feed" Katie using a dolly bottle. The mobile over her crib was on, there were several stuffies in Katie's crib and a random doll blanket. Katie was smiling her way through all the attention, loving her sister's attempts at "taking care of her".

I smiled at the scene and asked Maddie what she was up to.

Her response (still makes me chuckle a bit)...

"It was wake up time. I looked in your room, but I didn't see you Mommy. Then I came in Katie's room and I was just buggering around in here..."

Took the words right out of my mouth...

xxoo.S

(And yes, while incredibly adorable, it did make my heart jump a bit that I had slept through clearly about 10 minutes of administered attention, which means Katie's doorhandle has a childlock in it's future.)

It's a milestone day!

2010-12-20T16:55:00.000-05:00

Playing around with Katie on her playmat today she decided to show me just how big she's getting as she nears her 6 month birthday... pushing up on her arms, hanging out on her belly without any of that screaming we had all gotten so used to. Looking at me - smiling, giggling, laughing - without making me work for it too hard.

And just as I'm about to get up and grab a glass of water she cranks her head to the left and over she goes. Rolling! Like it ain't no thang...

I'm pretty sure I spent a month trying to "show" Maddie how to roll. Tucking her little arm up and over and nudging her in the belly to get the idea.

Second child around I'm watching her learn this new skill all on her own.

(And no, it's not a classic case of second child neglect. More like, let's not encourage this independent movement - a baby that stays where she's put is quite handy.)

Katie had other ideas of course. Not surprising as she's been rocking/moving/kicking since the day she was born. It had to happen sometime...

Goooooo Katie!

xoS

Resemblance

2010-12-15T01:04:00.000-05:00

This was supposed to be a Wordless Wednesday post - wherein I posted a bunch of baby pics and sat back and relished in the feeling of proving once and for all that at least one of my daughters actually looks like me... and well... well, here you go...

The Hubs - looking all smiley and baby-like...

My ladybugs - also looking all smiley and baby-like

And then there's me...

(can you hear the sad "womp womp" trombone sound?)

xxoo.S

Because I'm lazy...

2010-12-13T09:46:00.002-05:00

Too lazy to actually form a proper post anymore... so you get bullets...

Katie started solids last week - on Thursday to be exact. This was after I spent the last week and a bit trying to avoid grabby little hands while eating (yes, she sits on my lap during most meals - what?). I started to feel a bit guilty about eating in front of her after these kinds of displays, so we started on rice cereal. She is a messy eater and still very grabby. Clearly she thinks she can feed yourself. Newsflash to the 5.5 month old... You can't.
On Friday night, we spent 2 hours trying to figure out why our Christmas lights outside wouldn't turn on. I despaired that we may have to call an electrician (and yuck to that expense right about now) ... and then Hubs found the problem. One of the ends of our extension cords was sitting in the gutter in an inch of water. Yeah - water and electricity don't like each other.
Maddie spent the past 5 days visiting Grandma and Grandpa Vallier - which meant a VERY quiet house for us. And eating takeout Thai food for dinner. And not having to sweep the floor after every meal. And having freedom to run errands in the afternoon (prime naptime). And realizing just how effing easy life was with just one kid... wow - so. easy.
She came home just yesterday and spent the entire evening spider monkey-ing (this is our inside word for crazy clingy cuddles) either the Hubs or I. So for once, I think she missed us too. That's nice...
One of my productive tasks was getting all the presents wrapped and under the tree - Maddie wasn't home 45 minutes before one of the presents was opened. I told her, "We don't open the presents yet - we have to wait until Christmas", only to be told that she didn't do it. She "Din't do anything Momma" ... apparently we have magical presents that open themselves.
I hate to say it out loud (as we spent 5 months thinking Maddie was actively teething and expecting to see her first tooth any day now) (no seriously we really did - 5 whole months) ... but I think Katie is teething. She's very gnawy and grumpy and sleepless and agitated and rashy. Sounds like teething, right? Ask me again in a few months...
I officially have 90% of my Christmas shopping done. 95% of my Christmas baking done. And the cards are getting mailed today. That's not really an update as much as it's a bragging note. I'm super-awesome. (To everyone who is done everything already - shut up).

xo.S

He speaks the truth

2010-12-06T10:04:00.004-05:00

Early morning texting...

Me: Did I just buy a reindeer costume for my car? Yes, yes I did, indeed.

Hubs: Seriously?

Me: You bet your rat's ass I did. It's cute! Also... early morning shopping with a non-caffeinated brain is dangerous!

Hubs: Well congrats! You are well on your way to being a complete embarrassment for your kids to be around.

Me: LOL! I know! I'm awesome.

xxoo.S

So we decided...

2010-12-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

You voted which wallpaper you liked best and we (sort of? not really at all actually...) listened.

I just pondered over all the designs again with the Hubs (can I tell you how much I love "tipsy on a few glasses of vino" Hubs? He's awesome. And cute. Even cuter when I've also had a glass-and-a-half) ... and in just that 10 minute conversation I was totally reminded why we got married. We have the Exact. Same. Taste.

(Except with shoes. Don't get me started on his footwear. Because I have impeccable footwear taste. (Trust me. I do.) And he never listens to me about shoes. It. Drives. Me. Bonkersbananas.) (Yes, that's a word)

So to give you the vote counts (since most of you voted via Facebook, and you can't see that here).
#1 = 1 vote
#2 = 4 votes
#3 = 1 vote
#4 = 10 votes (clear winner! Spoiler alert - we're not going with it... sorry!)
#5 = 0 votes
#6 = 3 votes
#7 = 1 vote
#8 = 1 vote
#9 = 1 vote
#10 = 1 vote

Design #4 was the clear winner... and we both lurve lurve lurve...

(drumroll please)

#8!

Have I mentioned how much I lurve this design? I wanted to go more traditional. I really did... But in the end I couldn't do it.

Thanks for all the responses - it was great to get feedback! And if you're ever in my powder room (after it's finished) and want to rub in my face just how bad my pick was and much better yours would have been - well - I welcome the debate!

xxoo.S

At least she's not crying...

2010-12-03T22:51:00.002-05:00

We broke our record of crying for Santa this year. Instead Maddie just went mute and stared at him in horror at every attempt he made to chat with her. But she did give him a high five and managed to hold back the tears while sitting on his lap.

Katie remained oblivious the entire time - just stared at me like, "Dude - when are you going to get me out of this dress? I'm over the dress, okay?"

If you're wondering about the look on Maddie's face, this is the absolute closest we could get to a smile out of her. I think Tyra would be proud - she's clearly smizing for the camera!

xxoo.S

By popular demand...

2010-11-30T12:22:00.000-05:00

Alright alright - so you want the rest of the recipes I mentioned ... here you go - here are a few from my Christmas Treats arsenal...

Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls
1/2 cup margarine
2/3 cup peanut butter
2 cups icing sugar
6 handfuls (3 cups) rice krispies

Mix together into 1/2-1" balls (the mixture can seem dry - you need to wash your hands, roll up your sleeves and really get in there and mush it together - then roll into balls). Once all rolled, use spoon to dip balls into melted chocolate and drop onto waxed (or parchment) paper - then freeze. (Key here is to not make your balls too big - because dipping them in the chocolate makes them even larger - you want a 2 bite max treat)

My tip: don't use just any chocolate here - go to the Bulk Barn and buy some Merkens dark chocolate wafers. Merkins is the BEST chocolate to use for molds and this type of thing - great wax content (which means shiny finish) and yes, the dark is yummier than the milk chocolate for these balls. Also looks prettier. And no, Nestle is not better, or even on par - go MERKENS.

Cherry Surprises
1-3/4 cups icing sugar
1/2 cup margarine (you can use butter in a pinch - but margarine works better - just don't think about the ickiness of it all)
1-1/2 cups fine shredded coconut
1 tsp orange juice
3 dozen maraschino cherries (red or green or both - but not the pieces - you want full cherries)
Vanilla crumbs (can also use graham cracker crumbs - but vanilla oh so much better)

Dry off cherries with paper towel - you don't want them dripping in syrup. Mix ingredients together. Take 1 tablespoon and shape around cherry to form balls. Roll in vanilla crumbs. Freeze well.

White Chocolate Christmas Fudge
12 ounces white chocolate (can use any white chocolate - but again I reco Merkens)
1 can sweetened condensed milk (Eagle Brand - yum)
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup chopped pistachios (green)
1 tbsp grated orange peel

Line a 8" square pan with foil with ends extending over sides. Microwave chocolate and milk in large bowl on medium until almost melted (or melt on stove - I prefer this method). Stir until chocolate is completely melted - add cranberries, nuts and orange peel. Spread mixture into prepared pan. Refrigerate 2 hours or until firm. Store in fridge up to 3 weeks - do not freeze (although I have and it's fine - but whatevs, this is what my recipe says).

For the Homemade Turtles - there isn't a recipe - just go to a local bulk store where they sell chocolate molds and pick up some turtles. Then, using Merkens chocolate (melted) - line a thin layer of chocolate on the molds, add softened caramel in the belly and pecans in the legs - then top with more melted chocolate and freeze. Pop out of the molds and voila - homemade Turtles. I DO NOT make these - these are my Mom's obsession and she fiddly-asses around with them for a few weeks to make a few batches to share out. Very time intensive and not on my list of "to make" at holiday time (I just steal hers... ha!).

Happy baking peeps!

xxoo.S

Churchlady Shortbread

2010-11-29T15:15:00.002-05:00

Christmas baking has always been a thing in my house. Growing up my mom really set the bar with an impressive array of treats every year. Cherry Surprises, homemade Turtles, Peanut Butter Balls. It wasn't so much cookies as it was a conglomerate of treats... and my friends growing up would always look forward to their share in the treats.

But shortbread were never part of the mix - at least not a consistent part. I remember my mom making the roll-it-out dough style shortbread - I loved cutting the shapes out and "helping" at this. But the cookies - meh... they were okay but give me a Peanut Butter Ball any day of the week.

That is - until we discovered the Churchlady Shortbread. Mom started buying her shortbread from one of the local churches - they had a bakesale but you could also order some of the treats (nothing like making the old women of the church really work for their money). The shortbread were $10 (I think?) for a large coffee can container. We always ordered 3 containers. 1 for me - 1 for mom - and 1 to share on cookie trays.

No wonder I always gained 10 pounds at Christmas...

Sooooo - long story short. The poor old lady that used to make this scrumptiously delicious shortbread... stopped making it. I don't believe she passed away (although I'm sure she's no longer with us this many years later - bless) - but she got old enough that she wasn't into making shedloads of cookies at Christmas anymore.

It was a travesty. We were distraught. And so what did we do?

Oh that's right - we tracked down the woman and called her and begged her (daughter who answered the phone) for the recipe...

No really - they're THAT good.

And so - I can now make all the ridiculously good shortbread I want. And so can you! Here's the recipe...

Whipped Shortbread (aka Churchlady Shortbread):
1 pound of butter (softened)
1 cup icing sugar
1/2 cup cornstarch
3 cups flour
1 tsp vanilla
+ Sprinkles! Don't forget your sprinkles!! :)

Add butter + vanilla to food processor - whip. Add icing sugar - whip. Add cornstarch - whip. Add flour - 1 cup at a time - whip whip whip. It should be about the consistency of whipped cream at this stage - fluffy and yummy (taste it - soooo good!). Now - using a cookie press (or just dollop onto a baking sheet if you don't have a cookie press - but really? Who doesn't have a cookie press? I recommend the Wilton press!) drop cookies onto ungreased baking sheet. Add sprinkles (yum!). Bake at 300 degrees Fahrenheit for 8-12 minutes.

My tip? Put your cookie sheet on a higher level than you normally use in the oven - and check your cookies at 8 minutes - that's all I ever bake them for. Because you DON'T want brown bottoms or edges - shortbread never looks "cooked".

Melt in your mouth perfection...

xxoo.S

PS - Best way HANDS DOWN to eat your shortbread? Straight from the freezer? Trust me...

Let's put it to a vote...

2010-11-28T15:35:00.003-05:00

Okay - here's the backstory. After happening across a wallpaper design that I fell in love with, I began planning our half-bath/laundry room makeover. Because it's a small space, I knew it could take a rather bold design. And because it also did double duty as a laundry room, I wanted to add some beadboard wainscoting to amp up the "mudroom" appeal...

So after LOTS and LOTS of months of procrastination, I decided to finally pull the trigger and make the order. After getting a rather large quote from the original store I saw the pattern, I decided to search out some online options. I ended up finding a fabulous deal from a Californian online wallpaper shop - well, what started off as a fabulous deal...

(This is where I learned the #1 lesson of ordering online. Don't let UPS deliver you a package originating in the States. EVER. You will get charged a $40 customs broker fee + whatever ridonkulous taxes/charges may be levied. So yeah - here's your free lesson - ALWAYS ask what the shipping method will be and if they say UPS run very far away from that transaction.)

Anyhoo - so the UPS charges aside, I still sort of came out on top from a cost perspective...

Until I opened the package. And realized they had sent me the wrong wallpaper.

Crumbs!

So onto the phone - I filed my complaint and tried to determine how they were going to fix this - I wasn't paying for more non-refundable shipping etc etc etc. Turns out while the order fulfillment error was clearly on their end, the pattern I had ordered was no longer being made and couldn't be shipped. (And yes this infuriated me, and trust me you don't want to hear how that conversation went - but I have accepted it now and we need to move on people. MOVING. ON.)

So I've perused their site a lot - and picked a few options - but really can't decide because I don't love any of them as much as my original choice... so here's where you come in! I want opinions!

Here's the original design that I had ordered (because I have a thing for blue recently) (clearly, as Katie's room proved) (and also worked really well with white beadboard/trim + choc brown accents - because those design plans aren't gonna be changing)...

This is the original - a duck egg blue background that was slightly irridescent and absolutely lovely in person. *Sigh* Yes, I'm still a little bitter it's not available...

So here's the options - please weigh in on which # you'd choose as a replacement...

1. Replace with same design, but different background colour.

It comes in a few colourway options - but I think yellow is the only other that even slightly appeals to me.

2. Keeping blue + flower theme - still very graphical with a slight nod to vintage.

3. More blue, more flower, more vintage-feel with a shimmery detail.

4. Different flowers, more organic design. Heavier on the brown accents.

5. No blue at all - but eco friendly paper!

6. More vintage - these are called "field poppies" - awww!

7. Keeping with the blue - but instead a damask pattern...

8. Bolder, more graphical - but not sure how it would translate with brown accents.

9. Much more modern - another "shimmery" style paper.

10. A bit more understated, but would pair well with beadboard + brown accents.

I look forward to all y'all's perspective here. You know sometimes how you look at something so much you can't distinguish which you'd prefer anymore at all? That's where I'm at. I look and look and look, and think I have a preference. Then look again and think, nope - I HATE that one.

So please, weigh in. With an opinion or without - just give me a vote...

Kisses!

xxoo.S

Christmas in the Village

2010-11-27T09:36:00.002-05:00

Santa apparently came to Brooklin last night - we went to join in the celebrations... except it was bloody freezing and Santa was expected to come "later"... which no one seemed to know exactly what time that was.

So we took our free Tim Horton's hot chocolate and left...

xxoo.S

Never underestimate how much they listen to you...

2010-11-26T21:15:00.000-05:00

Maddie: These carrots are mushy! I don't like these carrots!

Me: The carrots aren't mushy, they're fine. You like carrots - eat them up.

Maddie: NOOOOOOOO! They. Are. Mushy! I don't LIKE these carrots!

Me: Maddie! The carrots are FINE. Now stop it and eat some potatoes instead.

Grown up chat for a few minutes, whilst pointedly ignoring the whining and moaning of the 3 year old at the table because that's the only way she'll actually eat/try any of her food - arguing with this kid just doesn't work.

Maddie: Mumma.....

Me: What's up honey?

Maddie: I want more FINE carrots. Please have some more FINE carrots?

Me: ???? [then realizing a few minutes later she's responding to my "your carrots are fine" comments]: Oh right - yep... *scoops more carrots onto her plate* Here's some more FINE carrots. Mmmmm. Yummy. "Fine" carrots!

Maddie: MMMMmmmmmm! Yummy! I like FINE carrots Mumma!

Me: Yes boo, I know you do...

xxoo.S

Maybe I'm not as important as I thought I was...

2010-11-26T15:42:00.000-05:00

I left my Katiebear for a whole 7 hours today. I had a thing to do in the city, which required me to be without bebe - and so with the help of my mom and the Hubs - I left at 7:30 this morning and didn't return until after 2pm. I think I was stressed about 80% of the time I was away....

Yes I realize how much this makes me sound like a crazy newbie mom - and yet, I admit it because it's true.

I was stressed because she hasn't really taken a bottle as of yet, and all I could think about was how much she'd be crying and sobbing and starving the entire time. Oh - and missing me of course.

So what do you think I arrived home to (after driving 140km/hr across the 407 to get home in record time)?

Silence. Everyone (except my mom) asleep and happy(ish). Apparently Katie did scream a lot. But also had lots of happy moments. And apparently she didn't sleep much at all the entire morning. But she was asleep when I got home (and in fact is still asleep as I write this) (yes, I didn't go wake her up immediately) (yet) - and apparently she took 3 full ounces at one go. At around noon.

Which means she held out for over 4 hours hoping I would come rescue her.... and when she realized it wasn't happening, decided she was hungry enough to take a few ounces.

Don't get me wrong - this makes me happy. I'm glad she wasn't miserable the entire time. And I'm hoping this means she'll be more open to the occasional bottle.

But I also can't wait for her to wake up so I can give her lots of snuggles and tell her just how much I missed her.

xxoo.S

Christmas-y

2010-11-24T10:08:00.001-05:00

I'd forgotten just how hard a baby makes getting anything done. Actually - as I write that, I realize that's not totally fair. Christmas 2007 Maddie was just a wee 2 month old. And they sleep. A LOT. They're also happy in pretty much anyone's arms. Which means getting a few consecutive hours here and there to decorate and bake and shop and do all the other stuff required to get ready for the holidays is not so difficult.

A 5 month old? Well, that's a bit of a different story. I got a lot of our indoor decorations up on Sunday (after the Hubs got home) - and the tree has been put up... but still not decorated. And my poor mantel sat half-decorated for several days.

It was making me itchy.

So... after everyone went to bed last night, I indulged in a little one-on-one time with my lovely mantel (it's a corner fireplace, meaning it's large and a bit awkwardly shaped and... just never get a corner fireplace - trust me).

But now I can rest easy that at least this one corner of the living room is DUN.

(Also, please ignore the stockings - I have PLANS y'all... which may involve crafting... or may involve spending some hard-earned $$ at the local craft show this weekend - we'll see...).

In the meantime though.... twinkly lights!

And yes, clementines are a perfectly acceptable form of holiday trim -

in fact, at Casa Vallier we call them Christmas Oranges!

xxoo.S

Five Months

2010-11-23T14:24:00.003-05:00

Dear Katie,

5 months. We're almost half-way there baby! What is there to say about this month? You're awesome. You have so much patience (I think I could learn a thing or two) - you watch me make dinner, you watch me check emails, you watch me play with your sister - as long as you're in the thick of it, you're a happy camper.

The sleep continues to be up and down - some nights you give us the 8 hour stretch, other nights (more recently) it's been an every-two-hour thing. Growth spurts, colds/congestion - they've all been working against us. If I'm to be honest though - I don't mind the early morning wake-ups - the 4am snuggles back in my bed. I danced the same slow dance with your sister against everyone's advice and I'd never ever give up those sleepy nursing cuddles. That's our time - when everyone else is still sleeping and we're both half awake and snuggly.

But with all that eating has come the chunk.

Oh the baby chunk - your legs have those rolls that just keep going and going and going. And forget about a wrist - you have a crease instead. I love nom-nom-nom'ing your cheeks and feet and pretty much every part of you - and you (of course) find this hilarious. You smile and let out one of your treasured hehhhhhh's - the rare low-voiced giggle that we can go for days without hearing. You're one tough crowd missy - and it's never the same thing twice that makes you laugh. Don't worry - I'll continue to work for it. Cuz I'm the funny one, and that's my thing okay?

The best part of a good giggle (or even big smile) is your dimple. As your cheek gets plumper it gets more and more pronounced and I love it. We have no idea where you got it - not a single dimple on either of us - but you have one smack dab in the middle of your left cheek and it's freaking adorable!

Milestone of the month? You started with the hanging bouncy chair thing - you like it fine, but will only really bounce if someone's watching you. Show off...

Another milestone I wish we could check off is your starting to take a bottle - but alas you continue to fight it. I've finally found a bottle that you don't scream about - but you just chew on it and look at me like, "Seriously? Are you still trying this shit with me?" I'm leaving for the better part of 8 hours on Friday - you're gonna be hanging with Daddy and Bucky - be nice to them, okay? Or at least, try not to scream too much.

"Okay lady, I guess we're doing this photo thing again, huh?"

"Wait! What is that cool jingly thing you're waving madly above your head?"

"Damn lady - you be heeee-larious!"

"Okay, I'm over this photography session and gonna start wrecking the place..."

Love you my little Katiebear.... my Kates... my snugglerumpskin... my bugalootwo.

Love,
Mommy

Our new tradition

2010-11-22T12:30:00.001-05:00

I could wail and whinge on about the tough tough extra super hard weekend I just had being single-mom to two RASCALS who didn't give me a moment's peace... but I think I've done enough whingeing this month, non?

So instead I'll give you the cheery bits - I jumped the gun and broke my mom's rule about decorating before the first weekend of December - screw it - I love Christmas. I love the music. I love the decorations. The twinkly lights and yummy cinnamon scented pine cones. I love Christmas baking. I LUUUUUUURVE shortbread (especially my ultra yummy melt-in-your mouth church-lady recipe that I should get around to posting about some day). So our tree is up (well, partially, waiting until tonight to actually dress it). Most of my doo-dads are up around the house, and the mantle will be dressed up after a quick trip to the local Supercentre for some fresh cedar.

Maddie also LOVES Christmas. "I love your decorations Mumma!" is what I heard about five trillion times yesterday. Which? CUTE - right?

She wasn't so much into the actual decorating as she was in running around all sugar-high and happy about the transformation of our living room. "Santa's coming!!!!!!" she'd scream. I tried my best to explain that he wasn't coming tomorrow or anything. It didn't matter. She's All. About. Santa.

So after dinner, once the Hubs was home and fully doing his part in assuming all child-rearing responsibilities for the evening, I thought - this is a great time to introduce our new tradition!

The Elf on the Shelf.

I ran across this adorable thing during my recent shopping bonanza at Chapters. It's a little toy elf doll that sits and watches down over your child and reports back to Santa nightly on their good (or bad) behaviour. He's magical - so you can't touch him or he'll lose his magic and won't be able to report back to Santa. Oh - and he's in a different spot every morning (because of his nightly trip to the North Pole of course!).

So not only can we totally use this as a "be good - the Elf is watching" behaviour-check, but it's also fun for Maddie every morning to come down and look for where the little Elf is watching from today. It comes with a story book about this new little Elf and all the "rules" that comes with him - it reads very lyrically and is beautifully illustrated. Oh and at the end of the book you name your new Elf and commemorate when your family adopted the tradition. Such an ingenious idea!

We named him "Rocky"

xxoo.S

I wasn't compensated in any way for this glowing recommendation - it's just something we bought and love...

The Good, The Bad and The Ugh....

2010-11-12T21:44:00.000-05:00

The Good:

Katie is back to sleeping 8 hour chunks at night. She did a little stint there where she was waking up at 11ish and then every 3 hours after. It's mind-blowing that I actually did that almost every night with Maddie for 1.5 years. Fuckme I was insane..
Yesterday was Rememberance Day which is the official date by which I cannot start decorating for Christmas before ... and now I have the all-clear! Our house will slowly be Christmas-fied over the next couple of weeks and I can almost smell the cinnamon sprinkles on my gingerbread Starbucks latte.
Along with the holiday decorating I have two very cool projects percolating in my noggin' - nothing earth shattering or ground breaking, but if either turn our half as good as I envision them, I'll be happy to sharesies some pics with yous.
Maddie's really into playing dollies these days and so my background noise daily is now the chitter-chatter of various personalities while they argue or dance or play tag or get ready for the big ball. Invariably there's something said that makes me smile and I keep meaning to get it on video so I can post for the world to see and embarrass Maddie's future 15-year-old self. As Maddie tells me daily, "Mommy - I'm usin' my 'magination!"
We're spending this weekend at my in-laws new house on the lake. The Hubs helped them move a few weeks ago and is beyond excited to get Maddie out on the dock with her new Barbie fishing rod. I foresee me drinking copious amounts of hot chocolate inside while I attempt to start reading my new book purchase (the new Jane Green - nothing groundbreaking or mindbusting, but enjoyable for this nursing mother who is grasping onto her last few brain cells with all hands).

The Bad:

Maddie is slowly, deliberately instituting a new practice of torture in the way of the "I have no ears, I am deaf to all requests for rationality. I will only SHOUT all my DEMANDS at you UNTIL YOU COMPLY". She has broken us. I can only aim to please during these tirades.
Katie's still fighting the bottle like the bull-headed little monkey that she is. I finally found that the Playtex drop-in bottles with latex nipple won't make her scream and cry in protest, but she still just chews around on it and looks at me with disgust. Unfortunately (for her) she gets her bullheadedness from me, so we dance this two-step daily. But yeah, she's winning... for now.

The Ugh:

Our furnace starting making a weird smell last night - like that burny smell your hair dryer makes right before it stops working. So we turned it off and lived in a 65 degree house for 18 hours until the technician could come take a look. Turns out a dirty air filter can cause your furnace to overheat and burn shit up and make a weird smelly smell. Air filters are the Hubs' department - so he owes me $66.67. I will take it in foot massages... (I realize this is actually good news, because buh - furnace fixing fees are not in our budget right now - like, AT ALL - so yay to the under $100 fee to find out we're lazy morons. YAY!)

xxoo.S

Toddler book-shopping

2010-11-12T00:01:00.001-05:00

I recently took advantage of a "mom's night out" sale at the local Chapters - as frugal as I am, there is nothing better to me than a brand-new book. Stiff spines. That new book smell you get. And since I'm a re-reader of novels, I so don't feel guilty buying a new book for my "library".

But this isn't about shopping for me.

(Well, I did buy one for me - but just ONE)

The rest of my purchases were for the girls. $200 worth. (And that's with the 25% discount).

(Yes, we like our books)

But this isn't about my book-shopping habits or trying to justify the amount I spend on books... It's a shout-out to all my fantabulous friends on Facebook who gave me so many suggestions and new authors to take a look at.

You see, aside from the odd book here and there, Maddie has been making do with her current bookstash that essentially hasn't changed since she was a baby. That's not to say all her books are baby books - she was given a shedload of Disney Golden Books in her first year. And Dr. Seuss. And some Curious George. And let's not forget the recent Princess book obsession.

So she's good - but her bookcase is getting mighty full. And with her new fondness of the longer stories (that's not to say we don't break out a Sandra Boynton "Going to Bed" book for old times' sake every once in a while) - but I'm getting a bit sick of Disney stories. Especially the roster of Cinderella, Peter Pan and Snow White that she favours. Because really? There's only so much Disney you can take.

And so I picked up some Jillian Jiggs, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Each Peach Pear Plum and yes, another Disney Princess book.

Of course, Katie wasn't left out - she got a new Karen Katz, I Love You More, Ten Little Fingers & Ten Little Toes, Goodnight Moon (yes SHOCKINGLY we didn't have it) and several others.

But thanks to all the reco's I received, there are so many more I'm excited to look for now:

The Pirate & The Penguin by Patricia Storms
10 Big Toes & A Prince's Nose by Nancy Gow
The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson
Lost and Found by Oliver Jeffers
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems
Barnyard Collection by Doreen Cronin
Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor
And of COURSE some more Robert Munsch - too many to list...

I love the simplicity and sweetness of the board books but oh, the memories some of the toddler books give me. I practically well up when I read her my old "Monster at the end of this book". And as I looked at the Robert Munsch titles in the bookstore I swear I could smell my old school library. I was such a little reader as a kid - I loved getting to pick out books in that half hour or whatever it was they would give us. And I swear that's when my compulsive shopping habits began, because I would just pile books high into a pile and check out the maximum amount every time because I could never decide on just one.

So yes, baby books are fun. Toddler books are exciting. I can't wait to give both my girls their Christmas stockings this year...

xxoo.S

You might want to work on the bluffing...

2010-11-08T15:06:00.000-05:00

20 minutes after I put Maddie down for her afternoon nap...

*boing*boing*boing* <--this is the sound of someone jumping on her bed

Me [busting into her room like a narc cop in a highschool girls washroom]: WHAT are you doing?

Maddie [sitting down quickly with wide innocent bambi eyes]: Nothing Mommy ... [silence] ... I was just bouncing on the bed.

Something tells me she's not going to be a world poker champion anytime soon.

xxoo.S

The new Santa rules

2010-11-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

Last year's Christmas was a little less fun than we'd like it to be. With us all fighting holiday colds (well, the Hubs failing the fight and managing to catch pneumonia), me being first trimester pregnant (tired, hormonal and nauseous) and about one TRILLION presents under the tree - it was a hard day. So hard in fact, that we had to take a break from opening presents. Yes, you heard me. Take.A.Break. It was the glazed look on Maddie's face while unwrapping and her zero enthusiasm over the gifts that gave us a clue that she might be just A BIT overstimulated.

So after about a million meltdowns (on all our parts) and a living room that looked like a Toys R Us exploded in it, we took stock and decided to institute some new present-giving "rules" this year. And don't worry, the grandparents have been well notified, so it's not like I'm breaking the news to them on this blog!

Main rule? Each child can receive no more than ONE toy from each set of grandparents. Books, clothes or donations to their RESP's - well, have at it. But actual play-toys? Limit is one. If the limit is exceeded? Then extra toys will be promptly donated to the local toy drive.

It's not about being scroogy on our parts - it really is about the amount of toys that we have in our house already. (Oh, I know there are parents out there reading this, thinking HELL YA!) I actually look around and am at a bit of a loss as to what we're even going to get the girls this year. They have so much - which is a great, wonderful, first-world complaint to have - I KNOW.

But this brings me to the point of our new rules - it has to stop somewhere, right? I really don't want the expectation of that kind of...err... materialistic debauchery every Christmas - because, whoa -- it's just too much.

And so... the new Santa rules are born. We'll see how it goes. Both my mom and the Gramma V have skirted the rules by giving Maddie a few toys "just because" recently.

Of course they have, right?

xxoo.S

Snapshot of my day

2010-11-03T21:15:00.001-04:00

As I sit down to write this I listen to Maddie running around behind me, playing "dollies". She has an Ariel and a Belle doll who seem to fight constantly, while she plays referee and doles out time-outs like candy - is this a foreshadowing of my future?

Katie slumbers upstairs in her crib - I listen to her breathing over the monitor (I make snorers) - the steady white noise of it punctuated every little while with a sleepy cry. I look up and listen to see if the cries will turn into anything - they don't (this time) and she falls back to sleep. Maddie stops playing long enough to tell me, "I don't think Katie's awake yet Mommy."

I am doing errands (well... and blogging - but "documenting our lives" as I like to call it is sort of an errand too) - banking, grocery lists, checking emails. My life is on my laptop. And usually around 5pm it can be found open on my kitchen counter, with either a recipe site or my Google Reader up. I read while I cook - dangerous stuff, especially for an accident-prone cook.

In my head a running list of "to-do's" cycle through. I ponder the dining room table, piled high with stuff. Stocking stuffers and Christmas decorations haphazardly hidden in reusable bags from my craft show shopping last weekend. Halloween decorations and costume makeup that needs to be put away in the basement to be used again next year. More Rubbermaid bins gets added to my shopping list.

Maddie pushes her kitchen stool over the counter where her Halloween candy bag is sitting. She thinks it's funny to "sneak" candy and I don't have the heart to tell her that she's not really "sneaking" if she's doing it while I'm standing right here. This is her fourth piece of candy since she woke up from her nap - I know I'm going to pay for it tonight when she experiences the sugar crash but I'm also just wanting her to blow through it as quickly as possible, so it's finally gone.

Dinner tonight will consist of reheated leftovers. A lazy mom's dinner, but when the Hubs is at a work event until 8:30 I look for short-cuts to survive the single-parent-stress. Maddie pushes her stool over to "help" me dole out the servings and rice goes everywhere. It's times like these I wish for a dog.

xxoo.S

No YOU'RE a princess...

2010-11-02T23:23:00.002-04:00

Halloween afternoon was (as always) a rush of pumpkin-carving / dinner-making / final-costume-touch-up-making. I've already promised myself that next year will be an "order pizza for dinner + get Timmies for the walk" kind of night.

Maddie loved the pumpkin carving even less this year than she did last year..

This is called "look of disgust".

Her princess outfit - before it got covered up with her winter jacket. Oh Canada!

The traditional shot of her walking with Daddy

This house deserved it's own photo - see that scary freaky lady on the right? She's an animatronic scary zombie witch who pops out every few minutes. Yikes...

BFF L with her little one (who is keeping one eye on the scary zombie witch)

The LOOT!

And in case you're wondering what little K is up to...

Well, guess who learned to bounce! this weekend?

xxoo.S

BOO

2010-10-31T11:09:00.002-04:00

We attended a costume party last night and as self-declared costume-phobes, this is the best we could do. I think the make-up showed an A+ for effort - I mean, we could've just cut a few eye-holes and called it a day.

Katie got in on the action with a superflous themed-onesie.

Boo! We're ghosts! Be scared!

xxoo.S

Exersaucer!

2010-10-30T08:59:00.003-04:00

Not entirely certain what I've put her into...

Giving me a bit of shout...

Oh! Haha - I get it. This is supposed to be fun!

xxoo.S

4 month shots

2010-10-29T20:13:00.004-04:00

Is there anything worse than this parenthood ritual? Having to watch their faces screw up and the silence before the massive earsplitting cry. Katie of course was a trooper (just like her sister always was) and I suspect (hope?) she'll sleep more than usual over the next couple of days.

Our doctor was just as horrible as usual - advising me that now she was four months, I was free to start trying solids any day now. I didn't even bother to try and argue that actually, no - conventional advice is to hold off until 6 months. Seriously, our doctor is a jackass (and yes, I'm trying to find a new one).

But in happy news, Katie is a happy healthy growing bebe - 12 lbs 4 oz and 25 inches in length. Longer than her sister was, but about 5 ounces lighter. Do we ever stop the comparison?

xxoo.S

A spider and a bat walked into a bar...

2010-10-29T09:11:00.000-04:00

More Halloween crafts courtesy of daycare - the bat is especially cute hanging over our kitchen table. Gotta love what you can do with egg cartons!

xxoo.S

Zombified

2010-10-29T07:00:00.002-04:00

xxoo.S

You know you talk a lot when...

2010-10-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

...your baby invariably falls asleep whenever you're on the phone. Driving into the city to meet a work colleague for coffee yesterday morning, I did what I always do when I'm in the car and have a chance - I call friends to catch up. Chatting away makes the time go by faster and is easier (for me) to keep caught up with all the goss. Love me some goss!

And fussy as she was as traffic started to slow down (damn you Kingston Road!), Katie was asleep within 5 minutes of me chatting away. And this is not just related to the car - at home, if walking around carrying her (or she's riding in the sling) - she will fall asleep twice as fast if I happen to be on the phone (or talking to someone in person) vs me just walking around. Twice as fast. I've timed it. Not really.

Maddie was like this too - to a T. Makes me wonder just how much I talk on an everyday basis if that is their "content, womb-like sound"...

xxoo.S

She's got his number

2010-10-26T15:21:00.006-04:00

Maddie: I think it's almost Halloween time Mommy!!! And we'll go to people's houses and say trick or treat and they will give us CANDY! And then we say thank you. And then we go home and eat it all up! Yum!

Me: Yup - mostly. Definitely the thank you part. I'm not sure about the eating it ALL up....

Maddie: [totally interrupting me because really, she doesn't want a reality check right now] Mmmmm - I like candy! Daddy likes candy too, doesn't he?

Me: Mmmm hmmmm [as much as he likes to deny his sweet tooth, he totally has one]

Maddie: Daddy's gonna try and steal my candy, isn't he?

Me: [laughing] Yup - probably!

I love that my three year old totally has the Hubs number - last year he ate all of her candy with exception of the Smarties and really that was okay, because what did she know. I think he's got more of a fight on his hands this year.

xxoo.S

Boo!

2010-10-26T09:09:00.001-04:00

Maddie's footprint as a ghost. Damn this daycare provider is going to cost me another Rubbermaid bin just to store all the adorable crafts she keeps bringing home...

xxoo.S

E is for Elephant

2010-10-24T08:15:00.000-04:00

xoxo.S

Four Months

2010-10-23T21:44:00.002-04:00

Dear Katie,

Just a few days ago your Daddy came home from work and commented on how much you seem to have changed overnight and it's so true.

You're not a little helpless baby anymore! You hold your head up so well - getting all kinds of practice sitting in your Bumbo chair, you seem to love this new vantage point and are spending more and more meals with us sitting on my lap vs sitting on the ground in the bouncy chair looking up at everyone.

Your patience with being strapped into the stroller has gotten a lot better - you're a much better shopping partner these days, and sometimes you'll even catch a nap while I browse through the grocery store. And your patience at just being on your playmat or bouncy chair means that I've started to get more and more projects done around the house - you are such an easy baby (now, don't go changing just because I said that!) - you're content as long as you can see someone, to just sit and play with your "guys" (as Maddie would say) - or to just watch what I'm doing. And later in the day (usually the afternoon when Maddie wants my attention and I need to make dinner) just being held or put in the sling keeps you happy and quiet.

But usually you love getting in the thick of it - you love love love your sister - you quiet down as soon as she comes into view and you give her the biggest smiles whether she's looking or not. She's definitely your favourite person, and she doesn't even have to work at it.

This month you discovered the joy that is Sophie the Giraffe - you chew on her and seem to delight in the fact that you can finally manipulate something with your hands and have the coordination to bring something (other than your actual hands) to your mouth.

You also started making hilarious faces this month and showing the beginnings of a sense of humour - the more I laugh at the funny faces you make, the more you make them - only pausing to smile at me in between. You totally know you're being funny and love getting a reaction ... between you and Maddie we're going to have two clowns competing for our attention in a few years I think...

Your fourth month also brought us your first roll from belly to back - you did it three times in a row last Thursday (October 14th) but haven't done it since. You also started laughing this month (September 27th) - we haven't caught your giggle on video just yet because you're a tough audience and not so consistent in what will make you laugh - but it makes our day when you do give us a small giggle here and there!

Those are some pretty major milestones - you're also still sleeping very well at night (although not so much during the day anymore) - just the other night you slept from 8:30 through to 7am - that? Was awesome. And you still love the bath - in fact we've started plunking you down in the tub with Maddie every once in a while and you both love this experience. She splashes you and acts crazy and you smile and laugh the entire time!

And last but not least - you're turning into a little chatterbox. Just in the past few days you've started to coo and ga and goo and ba at us in all earnestness. I love the sing-songy noises you're making now, and of course, when you get our attention making those noises you practically squirm with pleasure.

I can't wait to see what this month brings - you are such a happy, contented little patient baby - where did my little Grump go? I'm not sure, but I'm loving this new you too. My little Katiebear...

Love,
Mommy

D is for Dog

2010-10-21T08:15:00.000-04:00

xoxo.S

Maddie-isms

2010-10-21T00:17:00.000-04:00

Watching me paint the trim around my bedroom door:
"Good job Mommy! [claps hands] I'm so proud of you! You paint just like a big girl!"

After trying to get into some cookies in a tupperware container on the kitchen counter:
"I tried to sneak some cookies Mommy - but I can't open them! You open them? So I can be a sneak?"

While pulling her latest craft from daycare out of her backpack:
"Look what I made for you Mommy! [awkward pause] I mean Daddy. I make this for Daddy. You have enough crafts Mommy."

Calling to me from the bathroom:
"I did it Mommy! I went poop on the big potty and didn't fall in! I did it all by myself! But.. you wipe my bum?"

While sitting at the dinner table:
"Katie can't eat dinner Mommy. [I agreed - she's only 4 months old] Yeah, she's just a little baby. She can't do anything."

While in the car driving:
"See the leaves falling from the trees Mommy? It's FALLLLLL out. What does Fall start with? [I responded, "F"] No Mommy, not F....... S. Fall starts with S - like SNAKE."

Also in the car while driving:
"Stop singing Mommy. Turn on the radio. You don't sing right." [thanks]

xxoo.S

Wordless Wednesday - the pumpkin patch

2010-10-20T11:47:00.001-04:00

At Linton's Family Fun Farm...

xxoo.S

This face?

2010-10-19T23:49:00.001-04:00

This face makes me smile.

Laugh. Everyday.

xxoo.S

PS - apparently this face runs in the family. I mistakenly thought it was teething the first time 'round - now I get it - it's just a funny face, y'know?

Identity crisis

2010-10-18T23:43:00.000-04:00

I was walking through the grocery store today (gotta love the quarter-to-five-missing-ingredient-rush) and I had what one could call an out-of-body experience. As I tried to keep the frustration out of my voice to the pubescent stock boy about the lack of plain ol' breadcrumbs (no, the Italian kind aren't the same thing thankyouverymuch), I saw me as he (likely) saw me...

Without an ounce of makeup - blotchy skin that hasn't seen the hint of a care regime in ~~months~~ years.

Unwashed (since??? I can't even remember to be honest) hair pulled back into a messy bun - but not the fun, messy kind that walks red carpets at teen choice award shows - I'm talking hair sticking straight out in all directions and the bun part falling lopsided off my head.

Mis-matched "cozies" - no Lulu's for me - these are trackpants (burgandy) and an XL grey sweatshirt from Uni days. Joggers unceremoniously tucked into Uggs - but not for the fashion statement - more for the "OMG I get to wear shoes that feel like slippers OUTSIDE? Ummm, okay."

And the accessories of all accessories? Two whiny, hungry, annoyed children. One talking through a binkie about how she MUST watch Ariel when she gets home because I PROMISED and holymotherofgod meltdown about an 'effing SHOW. And the other? Hungrily slurping away on Sophie the Giraffe - eyeing me like "I'm totally going to meltdown if you don't get me home and feed me in the next 10 minutes lady. I don't care WHERE we are or WHO hears me."

In reality, I'm sure this stockboy didn't even register one of these observations about me - I likely just looked like any other "mom" out there - maybe more unkempt and a bit crazier than normal because, ohsweetjeezus why is she so obsessed about breadcrumbs??

Except I used to (still do?) care what I looked like out in public. I groomed. I didn't leave the house without mascara and some kind of lip gloss. I got pedicures and highlights and waxed on a regular basis. I used to wear heels everyday.

I WORE HEELS.

I get it now, why my mom used to have the best shoes to play dress up in, but I never saw her wear them - you can't chase down an unruly child in heels. You certainly can't straighten your hair daily when you've got a squawking 3 month old looking for her next meal. And my lipgloss? Has either been lost at the bottom of my purse or been confiscated by my 3 year old.

Fall used to be my favourite shopping season because boots! and booties! and closed-toe pumps! and more boots! Oh I still lust after these fall lovelies. I look at the thigh-highs (that would make me look like stripper-mom) or the peep-toe booties (mid-life crisis mom) or even the lower more utilitarian boot (cowboy-mom) - and then take that $150 and mentally spend it elsewhere - matching Christmas dresses for the kids perhaps?

I guess what I'm trying to say (I know - I did have a point, just trying to meander back to it) - it's weird remembering who you used to be. And realizing how much things have changed. How it's hard to reconcile what you look like when you actually look in the mirror to what you remember looking like not that long ago. And I'm not asking for permission to go out and spend $$ on highlights or new boots or fancy skin cream. I know I can. I could do it tomorrow (if I could muster up the energy). And I do hope to start looking nicer / a bit more presentable / a bit more like the old me soon ... but most of the prep-work just seems like that - work. Time I don't have anymore.

Priorities change. Expectations lower. And I just rummage in my shoe closet for a pair of comfortable flats to get me through this stage until I can fathom wearing heels on a regular basis again.

xxoo.S

Three is hard

2010-10-17T21:51:00.000-04:00

Wow - we're only a week into having and three year old and I'm EXHAUSTED. I feel like she's gotten older overnight, and yet, also so much younger.

She needs me a lot - as in, going potty, helping with her food, just holding my hand while I'm driving. It's endearing. It's frustrating. And it's kind of odd. It could be a bit of jealousy / acting out about Katie - and yet, I don't really feel like it is.

If I could play psychoanalyst for a second, I'd say it's almost like she's resisting growing up. Maybe so many changes and so many things are going on in her head that she's needing these more baby moments to feel grounded?

For now I've decided to have patience with her (mostly) and let her work through it on her own. But I am looking forward to the day where I can eat dinner without having to "help" someone else with theirs. That will be ... oh... six years from now I suppose?

xxoo.S

Dress Up

2010-10-11T22:44:00.003-04:00

I think I started planning Maddie's 3rd birthday this year sometime in the summer. Like I mentioned back in August, I totally ripped off the idea from my craftalicious friend, Vone. Invitations went out sometime in the middle of September, and even though I know it's totally gauche to mention gifts on an invite, I did anyways (because I'm classy like that) and suggested that dress up items would be a fabulous gift idea...

And so the Princess Party was taking shape (because let's face it - 90% of dress up clothes seem to involve princess items of some kind - and since Disney makes it so easy with all their branded crap everywhere, who am I to buck the trend?)... and again, like I mentioned earlier - I was OBSESSED with making an adorable little catchall where Maddie could store all her dress up clothes.

So I did...

I cannot explain just how happy I am with the result - I just love love love this little storage/dress up chest/wardrobe thingy. The inspiration came from this post on the blog, Craftiness is not optional.

***

How I built my version:
I used pine boards that I bought in 72-inch lengths in 12-inch widths. I had two of the boards sawed in half (you can do this right at the Home Depot store) so I had four 36-inch lengths. The third board I had sawed down to give me two boards at 34-inches and a bit left over. Add a one-inch dowel and I think the total came to under $20 for all the wood.

For the two ends I used a large tupperware bowl as my "curve guide" (yep, I'm all kinds of professional in my carpentry skills) - and then used a jigsaw to make the cuts and a belt sander to even everything up (because my jigsaw skills are jittery at best). The two sides of the bottom box were the 34-inch pieces, the other 2 inches are allowance for the 1-inch thickness of the end panels. Bottom of the box is 36-inches long. I then drilled 1-inch holes in both end panels for the dowel, glued the inside and fitted the dowel in (this part was tricky as one end was a bit loose, while the other was very tight - why? I have no flippin' idea). Screw it all together, sand and paint. Voila - you are done.

For the letters, I used a stencil package I found at Michaels - letters are 3-inches high. I wanted something a bit larger, but selection was not really what I was looking for and to be honest, I was too lazy to make my own. To paint the entire piece, I used the same paint I used for Maddie's furniture in her "big girl" room makeover (Benjamin Moore Aura Satin finish in Cloud White) - even on plain pine I only needed to do two coats - have I mentioned how much I love BM paints? The letters were done with plain ol' craft paint from the Dollar store I had on hand.

I will be adding hooks to either side for hats/scarves/boas etc - definitely a good option for adding more storage abilities.

Things I Would Do Differently Next Time (a.k.a. Learn From My Mistakes!):
The pine boards I used were rough cuts - there were more expensive "project" boards available, but I'm cheap and didn't want to spend the money. Next time, I'd probably just use MDF and have it cut down in the store. At least it'd be straight, and not have a million rough parts that needed heavy sanding or knotty holes in it.

Using MDF would also allow a bit more flexiblity on the measurements. Length-wise the piece is pretty perfect (it will fit her closet well) and height-wise I don't think you need it any taller for a 3-year-old. However the bottom box sides could probably be shorter (say 8-10 inches instead of 12) without losing much capacity, and I'd make the box/sides wider - like 14 inches at minimum.

The sides could use a bit more interest - like adding another curve (like an S-curve instead of the C-curve I used) - without losing actual integrity in the strength of the piece. This was my original plan, but my jigsaw skills were beginner at best so I wasn't risking it.

Lastly - next time I will NOT be stenciling my letters. I hated this part - it was such a pain in the ass. Because of the size of the stencil pages, I had to wait for letters to dry before doing the next one - or did the letters out of order (which was risky on spacing, but ended up working okay). And since the edges looked quite rough, I ended up free-handing the entire letter all over again to smooth everything out and fill in - so yeah, next time I would just free hand or trace with a pencil and then free hand. Something different from what I did anyways.

***

So that's that. I'm not sure Maddie really understands how magnificently cool this thing really is (don't you totally wish you had one as a kid??) - but the parents at the birthday party were impressed enough with it that I was able to satisfy my ridiculous ego. ;-)

And Maddie? Well, she just keeps going up to it and marveling at all the amazing dress-up clothes she now has - thank you again to all our wonderful friends and family!

xxoo.S

Dear Maddie,

2010-10-10T11:37:00.005-04:00

Your actual birthday was yesterday - but the Princess Party we put on was such a smashing success I crashed into bed shortly after you finally went to sleep - and so, your birthday wish is one day late.

Three years old. "I am fweeeee years old today!" you tell me. Already you are growing up more - no more binkies during the day. We talked about this leading up to your birthday for almost 2 weeks and you seem to be totally on board. Such a big girl now. (As for nighttime habit - we'll worry about that in another 6 months)

A headstrong little girl, you have a romantic, soft side that makes me teary. You love fairy tales, you love princesses, you love happily ever after... Daddy is your Prince (he'd like to keep it that way for a while, please), and I get to be Queen (of course I do...). "May I have this dance?" you ask us constantly - and we twirl and whirl in our tiny living room.

Your openness to try new foods and to eating in general really disappeared this year, but you seemed to replace it with an openness to making friends, trying new things - always.on.the.go. I can't believe you haven't had more owwwies considering your coordination abilities are clearly inherited from me. While you still love adventuring outside, you also have a crazy addiction to tv that we keep trying to dissuade - it's the princess movies that you love. Dora has been replaced. Elmo has been replaced. Mickey has been replaced. Disney princesses always, all the time - "Please mommy, you put Belle on?" you beg me daily.

I love how much you love your sister - all my worries about whether you'd be jealous vanished out the window quite quickly. You are already a considerate, protective, loving big sister. If Katie cries you don't stop telling me that "Quick Mommy! Katie's crying!" until I go to her. Apparently when you play "pretend" at daycare with your new friend, Avery, the baby in the game is always named Katie. And she loves you already so much, boo - never taking her eyes off you if you're around - I can't wait to see what kind of trouble you two get up to as soon as she gets mobile...

You are YOU my bugaloo. And this 3rd year has been filled with discovery and wonder and frustration and imagination and patience and love - for all of us. You make us better people Maddie - and for that, on this Thanksgiving weekend - I thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives. Thank you for giving us a massive reason to be thankful every day. Thank you for being YOU.

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy too)
xxoo

Bottle woes

2010-10-07T11:03:00.006-04:00

When Maddie was young we were all about making sure the bottle was introduced at the right time (i.e. not too early to avoid nipple confusion and not to late to make sure she didn't turn it away) - I think we gave her a bottle when she was around 5-6 weeks old. She took to it well - didn't seem to have a problem with bottle vs. breast and switched back and forth very easily (until about 9 months when I thought it was time to start the weaning process and she immediately REFUSED any and all bottles - but that's another headache I'm sure we'll get to experience again).

Now this doesn't mean I actually left Maddie a whole lot - but when I did, I could do so, knowing she'd be fed and happy(ish).

Well... chalk up another parental mis-step to us being a) lazy, b) tired, and c) distracted... I haven't been watching the calendar/clock this time around - which in the most part has been great. It means I don't get all tied up in knots if she's not meeting all the specific developmental "milestones" on time. But it also means that she was about 9 weeks old before I realized, shit, we haven't given her a bottle yet.

So we've been trying here and there... and failing fairly miserably each time. My sister-in-law has been most successful - she got her to take about 2 ounces a few weekends ago. But it took forever and Katie was pretty lukewarm about the whole thing.

To be honest, I'm one of those silly moms who actually doesn't spend a whole lot of time away from her baby and I'm usually pretty okay with it. Except when I'm not. Or I want to have a few glasses of wine. Or I think about my impending birthday plan that will take me away for an overnight trip in about 3 months time... So yes, while I too prefer to breastfeed vs. trying to do a bottle on a regular basis, I do realize the necessity of having it as a viable backup plan.

Also? I'm not pumping a freezer full of milk for no good reason...

So last night, as Katie started to get hungry I heated up a fresh bottle, handed it to Daddy and quietly left the room.

She took to it quite quickly and readily (I was peeking around the corner). Doing really well actually until I decided to take a picture of the cuteness. And then she got distracted. Or saw that it was not actually me, or a boob, that she was with - and WTF? She was pissed.

I quickly left the room again - apparently she went back to the bottle for about 5.8 seconds and then tried to root around on Daddy looking for something better. Unsuccessful she started to wail. And wail. And WAIL.

Brought up to me within 2 minutes of me leaving the room, she settled in for a LOOOOONG meal. As in - I know you're trying to keep this from me so Imma gonna stock up.

Maybe it's the bottles? We're using the Avent bottles that Maddie took to so readily - but I know, different babies like different things... Any better bottle/nipple suggestions out there?

Before things went all pear-shaped...

xxoo.S

C is for Cat

2010-10-06T11:07:00.000-04:00

xxoo.S

Snippets

2010-10-05T14:44:00.001-04:00

I'm in the midst of party-planning for Maddie's Princess birthday party (theme! love it!)... spent over $100 on party favours / decorations / loot bags... um - and it's all honestly shit. Shit that kids will like, but that I kind of roll my eyes at and think - crappa. Plastic "magic" wands, necklaces, gaudy rings, ridonkulously pricey Disney stickers etc etc etc. I've heard this only gets worse as they get older. As in, more $$, more over-the-top silliness, more Disney-filtration... yikes is all I have to say.

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Halloween is also coming up and I'm going to admit something about myself right now - I'm. Not. A. Fan. I don't like dressing up. It's stressful - I'm not creative (yep - the least creative marketing girl you'd ever meet), I always leave the brainstorming to the last minute and then go to the shop looking for something that I can use to dress up. I think the last time I actually attempted a serious costume was Cruella DeVille.. I was 24. Maddie keeps asking me what I'm going to dress up as this year (she has changed her mind from Princess to Fairy Godmother to Tinkerbell and back to Princess again) and as of yet I've been unsuccessful in convincing her that Mommies don't dress up. Hmmm - I think I have a few white sheets that could be made into ghost costumes. Boo!

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My project du jour is trying to update and organize all of our photos. As in - dating back to August 2008 to present. Seriously (and I know I've asked this before), but do y'all do photo albums still? I like to think if I can get us up to date now, I will just set a reminder in my calendar to print my photos on a monthly basis and then Everything. Will. Be. Perfect! Honestly? I have no idea how you scrapbook people do it - that is some serious commitment. I'll let you know how my photo project goes... after I get the album pictures squared away (and additional albums purchased) I also need to fill about 20 frames that are currently up on my walls and mantle - just waiting to be filled. (I may have a bit of a habit of buying picture frames - and then let them sit with the picture they come with in it for months on end. Friends constantly ask me who all these random people are on my mantle).

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Last but not least... I think I have adult ADHD. In a not-kidding, no-seriously, where-did-my-ability-to-concentrate go? I see other women, other moms, out there - managing households, feeding, cleaning, getting their hair done and looking all respectable. Me? I live in a shambles of chaos and grungy floors with unwashed hair and am constantly doing the 5pm meltdown of "what the hell are we going to eat". I think I've used up the "I have a newborn" excuse now, because, well, Katie is over 3 months old. I have all these aspirations to plan meals and clean on a daily schedule... and yeah - it never stays on course. THIS? This is totes me...

xxoo.S

Cute fall crafts

2010-10-04T07:00:00.001-04:00

This past week Maddie came home from daycare with a couple of adorable crafts...

This is a fall tree using thumbprints of different colours of paint for the leaves.

And this is Maddie's arm / handprint as the tree with bits of different coloured torn up paper as the leaves. I think it would work well too on wax/translucent paper with bits of tissue paper as the leaves.

So yes - this daycare provider is FAR more into crafts than our previous - which is great, because I'm hoping it teaches Maddie better concentration and attention-span skills. She's so all over the place now it's hard to get her to sit down and finish any craft at all.

xxoo.S

Matching

2010-10-03T08:00:00.006-04:00

I bought these matching dresses before Katie was even born - daydreaming of my radiant post-pg self with my two gorgeous girls in their matching sundresses enjoying the sunny summertime loveliness - very stress-free, very idyllic.

Um, right.

So a few weeks ago, realizing that summer has left us for well and good this year and they still haven't worn these dresses I bought back in the flush of spring, I thought we'd take advantage of the mid-afternoon sun in my bedroom for a... (say it with me) Photoshoot!

I'm ready for my close-up now Mr. DeMille...

Sharing her *bling*

This is called mauling in our house... as in, "Maddie! Stop mauling your sister!"

My attempt to be an artistic photog -- FAIL

Okay, got one smiling...

And now the other is smiling...

Okay, they're both so OVER this...

My beauties...

xxoo.S

A girls' week

2010-10-02T19:10:00.001-04:00

xxoo.S

To nap or not to nap...

2010-09-29T13:29:00.001-04:00

I've been quizzing all my fellow moms out there lately about just when their toddler gave up their afternoon nap. After a few months of bedtime worries - fighting Maddie to go to sleep by 8pm, dealing with a thousand requests after she's actually in bed, listening to her play around and read to herself in her room sometimes up until 9:30pm - I finally realized, huh, perhaps she's getting ready to give up her afternoon nap.

Thing is - I'm not so sure I'm ready for her to give up her afternoon nap. That time is precious to me. During the week, with her coming home from daycare after lunch, it means that I still get a few hours just with Katie. Whether that's spent eating lunch, doing errands around the house or just napping myself - it's still time.for.me. On the weekend (and non-daycare days like Friday) it gives us a bit of a break after a full morning of toddler energy.

I like that break. I need that break.

I'm told if she gave up her afternoon nap, she'd likely start going down in the evening much earlier (like 7-ish) - but really? That only gives me an extra hour in the evening. And it would mean she would see her daddy for approximately 30-45 minutes every weekday.

Ah.... nope. That's not for us. To be honest, she's stopped with the full-on-body-attack-refusal of bedtime that she was giving us during the summer. And I really don't give a damn if she sits and reads to herself between 8-9pm. She's not coming out of her room. She's not requiring me to read beyond my requisite 1-2 stories per evening. She's just sitting up reading to herself until she gets sleepy. Not the worst thing in the world...

However, she has started doing this at naptime as well (to the point where I have to go up and sternly tell her "that's the last story - go to SLEEP"), so I can see how we may be transitioning to a couple of hours of just "quiet" time in the afternoon. BUT when she does finally fall asleep, she's down for a solid few hours and I'm usually having to wake her up at 4pm. So I'm just not convinced she's ready to give up that rest period.

So yes - this is me - resisting change. Fighting for the afternoon naps to stick with us for a little bit longer. Fighting tooth and bloody nail to keep that "me time".

xxoo.S

Three Months

2010-09-23T07:00:00.004-04:00

Dear Katie,

Three months - you are a big girl already! I can't believe that our year is a quarter of the way over - and yet you still feel so new to me.

I love that you're still a little cuddle monster - you love being in my arms and I love snuggling with you while your sister is at daycare. We've got our daily routine down now - while Maddie is in daycare in the mornings we either run errands or do things around the house while you doze in the sling or sometimes we just sit and watch bad tv for an hour or so. It feels a bit lazy but I know the days where you'll just be happy to chill in my arms is fleeting and so I'm greedily taking advantage of it and screw the housework.

We started Pilates this month - you love it as long as you're down in the action. Meaning on the mat, watching me quiver with exertion while my poor stomach muscles beg me to stop. You find this hilarious and coo and smile at me constantly.

You really have started interacting with us - including Daddy - which is nice, because he was feeling left out there for a while. You love to talk and given any sideways glance you start cooing and owwwing and waving your arms energetically looking for some attention.

Oh the tightrope of guilt I walk whilst I give one of you attention and the other is doing handstands trying to tear my attention over their way... This too I know is fleeting and soon it will be me trying to get your attention while you and your sister play off in your own little world, so I'm okay with feeling pulled in so many directions right now. It's nice to be popular...

What else can I tell you about your life as it is at 3 months? You are chilled - much less angry and grumpy and snorty and groany than when you entered the world. You're happy as long as you're in on the action, sitting in the bouncy chair being a spectator to the goings on. You have a million and a half smiles for me and for your sister - and just this month you are so down with your Daddy and his attention too.

And the sleep ... damn it's good. You sleep like I never realized a baby could sleep. Why is this? Is it because we put you in the crib from the first month? Is it because I'm more relaxed and have let you fuss a bit longer to give you the ability to lull yourself back to sleep? Or is it because you are YOU. Your own little person and where Maddie struggled you just champion through? No clue - but I love it. You're usually in bed between 8:30-9pm and you sleep anywhere from 4:30 to 6:30 ... and then back down again for another 2-3 hours. I actually wake up more because of other silly things like poor bladder capacity than because of you. And the daytime sleep is amazing as well - you always take at least a shorter nap of about an hour and a longer nap of 2 hours or more.

Really, I feel like I'm bragging - but if you went back and read about my sleep obsession with your sister at this age, you'd understand...

So that's you - an attentive, chilled little cuddle-monkey that sleeps through the night like it ain't no big thang... Squawking only to get some attention every once in a while and giving most strangers the crook eye to really make them work for a smile.

I like your style already lady...

Love,
Mommy

I'm glad this got to be my next post after the last. It's hard to feel normal about being flippant and writing about everyday nuances of life when everything is so changed. There's guilt about acting like everything is normal and there's guilt about not acting like everything is normal... This weekend is the memorial service and I'm looking forward to being surrounded by family and getting some closure. Thank you for all the thoughtful notes - I know I've been extra quiet, but it's been very appreciated.

Legacy

2010-09-19T23:55:00.002-04:00

You taught me how to hammer a nail. Install drywall. Cut miter joints and install trim. I knew how to use a drill before I could drive. Your motto was, "Why pay for it if you can build it?" I'm so glad I got to share with you my most recent project - even if you did laugh at me for using a bowl to make my corners, instead of your proper-angle-measurement method!

I remember winter weekends at the farm. Sledding down the big hill, you always took pity on us and towed our sleds back up the hill with your Arctic Cat so our bodies didn't tire out before our appetite for fun did. Learning how to tap a maple tree - making toffee in the snow - drinking sap for weeks later. I still have the last bottle of maple syrup you gave me in the fridge. You're right - it is so much better than Aunt Jemima.

I remember summers spent in and out of the pool. BBQ'd lunches and dinners. Learning to swim. Learning to catch a baseball. Learning to fish. I was never really any good, but I was always happy to join in on the fun with you and Derek.

You introduced me to Elvis. Roy Orbison. John Fogerty. I remember dancing silly sock hop dances in our basement rec room while the greatest hits of the '50's played on the record player.

You taught me how to train a dog. You taught me how to shoot a gun. You taught me how to plant a vegetable garden. To use a Q-tip to fertilize the cucumber plant so the bounty was plentiful. No, I didn't do that this year. Yes, I'm sure that's why my cucumber plants sucked.

So many things learned and I never said thank you. Perhaps that's the last lesson.

You died last Tuesday and you will be dearly missed.

Love,
Sara

A is for Apple

2010-09-09T15:03:00.000-04:00

Maddie is learning her ABC's at this new daycare - starting with the obvious... A is for Apple...

xxoo.S