Yes, you are.

While making cookies today, I swat Maddie hand away from the bowl to keep her from eating her 48th bite of raw cookie dough:

Maddie: What Mommy?

Me: That's enough cookie dough for you bugaloo. You'll be sick.

Maddie: I know! I eat cookie dough all the whole long-long time, don't I?

Me [laughing]: You would, if I let you.

Maddie: Yes. I am the cookie monster! Yarrgghhhh!

Me [full on belly laughing at this point]: Yes, you are.

Maddie: I am very-very funny Mommy. I make EVERYONES laugh a long-long time.

Me: Yes. Yes, you do, bugaloo.

Well, maybe not "EVERYONES", but definitely me. Thanks Maddie - for the laughs - everyday.

xxoo.S

Why do kids do this?

Tonight, while eating a pre-dinner snack of frozen peas...

Maddie: I think a pea came out of my nose.

Me: I don't think so. Unless you put one up there - DID you put one up there??

Maddie: No.

10 seconds later

Maddie: I think there's a pea up my nose.

Me: How did it get there? Did you put a pea up your nose? You're too old for this...

Maddie: I didn't. Maybe Katie did it.

In the end the pea was too far up for any kind of extraction - and while trying to get her to blow it out (while blocking the other nostril) it disappeared. I think she may have sucked it up so high it went into her throat. At least I hope that's what happened. I don't see it anymore...

xxoo.S

He speaks the truth

Early morning texting...

Me: Did I just buy a reindeer costume for my car? Yes, yes I did, indeed.

Hubs: Seriously?

Me: You bet your rat's ass I did. It's cute! Also... early morning shopping with a non-caffeinated brain is dangerous!

Hubs: Well congrats! You are well on your way to being a complete embarrassment for your kids to be around.

Me: LOL! I know! I'm awesome.

xxoo.S

Never underestimate how much they listen to you...

Maddie: These carrots are mushy! I don't like these carrots!

Me: The carrots aren't mushy, they're fine. You like carrots - eat them up.

Maddie: NOOOOOOOO! They. Are. Mushy! I don't LIKE these carrots!

Me: Maddie! The carrots are FINE. Now stop it and eat some potatoes instead.

Grown up chat for a few minutes, whilst pointedly ignoring the whining and moaning of the 3 year old at the table because that's the only way she'll actually eat/try any of her food - arguing with this kid just doesn't work.


Maddie: Mumma.....

Me: What's up honey?

Maddie: I want more FINE carrots. Please have some more FINE carrots?

Me: ???? [then realizing a few minutes later she's responding to my "your carrots are fine" comments]: Oh right - yep... *scoops more carrots onto her plate* Here's some more FINE carrots. Mmmmm. Yummy. "Fine" carrots!

Maddie: MMMMmmmmmm! Yummy! I like FINE carrots Mumma!

Me: Yes boo, I know you do...

xxoo.S

You might want to work on the bluffing...

20 minutes after I put Maddie down for her afternoon nap...

*boing*boing*boing* <--this is the sound of someone jumping on her bed

Me [busting into her room like a narc cop in a highschool girls washroom]: WHAT are you doing?

Maddie [sitting down quickly with wide innocent bambi eyes]: Nothing Mommy ... [silence] ... I was just bouncing on the bed.

Something tells me she's not going to be a world poker champion anytime soon.

xxoo.S

She's got his number

Maddie: I think it's almost Halloween time Mommy!!! And we'll go to people's houses and say trick or treat and they will give us CANDY! And then we say thank you. And then we go home and eat it all up! Yum!

Me: Yup - mostly. Definitely the thank you part. I'm not sure about the eating it ALL up....

Maddie: [totally interrupting me because really, she doesn't want a reality check right now] Mmmmm - I like candy! Daddy likes candy too, doesn't he?

Me: Mmmm hmmmm [as much as he likes to deny his sweet tooth, he totally has one]

Maddie: Daddy's gonna try and steal my candy, isn't he?

Me: [laughing] Yup - probably!

I love that my three year old totally has the Hubs number - last year he ate all of her candy with exception of the Smarties and really that was okay, because what did she know. I think he's got more of a fight on his hands this year.

xxoo.S

Maddie-isms

Watching me paint the trim around my bedroom door:
"Good job Mommy! [claps hands] I'm so proud of you! You paint just like a big girl!"

After trying to get into some cookies in a tupperware container on the kitchen counter:
"I tried to sneak some cookies Mommy - but I can't open them! You open them? So I can be a sneak?"

While pulling her latest craft from daycare out of her backpack:
"Look what I made for you Mommy! [awkward pause] I mean Daddy. I make this for Daddy. You have enough crafts Mommy."

Calling to me from the bathroom:
"I did it Mommy! I went poop on the big potty and didn't fall in! I did it all by myself! But.. you wipe my bum?"

While sitting at the dinner table:
"Katie can't eat dinner Mommy. [I agreed - she's only 4 months old] Yeah, she's just a little baby. She can't do anything."

While in the car driving:
"See the leaves falling from the trees Mommy? It's FALLLLLL out. What does Fall start with? [I responded, "F"] No Mommy, not F....... S. Fall starts with S - like SNAKE."

Also in the car while driving:
"Stop singing Mommy. Turn on the radio. You don't sing right." [thanks]

xxoo.S

I think the Hubs can take this one...

Singing along to an episode of Dora:

Maddie: Back-cack! Back-cack!

Me [realizing she cannot turn three still calling it a "back-cack"]: Bugaloo, it's pronounced back-PACK. With a P.

Maddie: Oh... Back-cack.

Me: No - with a P. Like Peter. Can you say Peter?

Maddie: Peter.

Me: Or like Peas. Can you say Peas?

Maddie: Peas.

Me: So try it with a P...  back-Puh-Puh-Puh-PACK.

Maddie: Back-Cuh-Cuh-Cuh-CACK!

Me [laughing too hard to correct her again]: Um, sure.

xxoo.S

If it works, use it...

Scene: the Hubs is clearing up the dishes from dinner. I'm sitting on the couch, burping Katie. Maddie is running around creating chaos, like only a toddler can.

Maddie: Oh! Gotta go potty Mommy!

Me: Oh good! Mommy's feeding Katie, but Daddy will come with you - run and go like a big girl and Daddy will come help.

[Maddie from the bathroom - "I did a poop Daddy! I did a BIG one!"]

Hubs (after returning from potty duty): That's the 3rd night in a row. Is it just me or does she go every night when you're busy feeding Katie?

Me (shoving Katie's sleeping face closer to my boob so it totally looks like she's nursing): Yep - I agree. The timing is uncanny...

xxoo.S

Dramatic? Me?

Driving in the car on the weekend:

Maddie: My's tummy's hurts...

Me: From drinking too much juice probably, you juice-monster.

Maddie: My's tummy hurts from too much juice! Owwwwww. It hurtssssssssss.

Me: Rub it. That will make it feel better.

Maddie: I needs a band-aid for my tummy. Owwwwww. My's. Tummy's. Hurtsssssss!!!!

Me (to Hubs): Seriously? Have you ever heard someone be so dramatic?

Him: Yes. YOU.

Me: [Silence] Har har...well, now there's three of us. What are you going to do about it?

Him: Golf. A lot.

xxoo.S

The "Mom Trudge"

In a conversation with a girlfriend...

Me: So loving flats these days - I can't remember the last time I wore a pair of heels. And summer used to be the season I looked forward to for the strappy sandals alone!

Her: Do you notice, even in flats, you totally walk differently now though?

Me: Totally. It's the "Mom Trudge".

Her (laughing): The what?

Me: The "Mom Trudge". A few years ago we'd walk around, all carefree and blissful. Strutting our stuff in our heels and popping in and out of cafes, bookstore, other shops. Now when we're out we're bent over pushing a stroller, or a grocery cart, or just trying to get whatever it is we're out doing done. We're on a mission. We're fighting time. Hence we're all bent over and miserable looking. When's the last time you swanned into a shop without worrying about how long you had already been out?

Her: You're right. It's the "Mom Trudge". Oh my god, we must look miserable.

Me: No, we just look old. Don't even get me started on the amount of times I get called "M'am" nowadays...

xxoo.S

I caved - he didn't

On Tues night, around 8:15pm, my resolve caved.

Me: Okay, let's just do the 3D ultrasound and find out the sex.

Hubs: Nope.

Me: ???? What? I thought you were dying to find out? I thought you were annoyed that I wanted to keep it a surprise?

Hubs: We decided to keep it a surprise, so that's what we're doing. Anyways - isn't it too late to do it?

Me: It's ALMOST too late. The ideal time is before 26 weeks, but we could still do it.

Hubs: Nope.

Me: (whining like a 5 year child at this point) But why??? I've changed my mind - I thought you'd be happy.

Hubs: You convinced me a surprise would be fun. Don't be so convincing next time.

And so... hrrrrumph.

xxoo.S

I tried to get angry, but I was laughing too hard

Tonight - while we're playing "grocery store" with Miss M (which involves her loading her play food into her shopping cart, then out again to "pay" and then back into a grocery bag).

We're at the "grocery bag" stage and Maddie is trying to put the bag on her shoulder. But only manages to get one loop on one shoulder and one loop on the other shoulder. So she's kind of wearing it like a reverse backpack.

Which is clearly not what she wants and she gets annoyed.

"Maddie not do it!" she exclaims, as the bag drops to her feet. Then with a "arghhhh" she kind of hits the bag/picks it up and throws it down again. You can feel the frustration.

Seth: "Now now, let's not act like your mother."

Me: Hahahahahaha. [beat]  Oh. Hey. Wait a minute....


Yes - I have a short fuse. I get frustrated. I often take my frustrations out on the inanimate items that are frustrating me (case in point - my busted ass laptop). So, um, yeah. I couldn't really get angry, especially as I was laughing so hard already at what was a clear case of mommy frustration happening for the little person in front of me.

That didn't stop me from getting her to tell Daddy, "That not nice Daddy!" though...

xxoo.S

"Friend"

There is a little boy at daycare that Maddie adores. Well they adore each other, I suppose. Apparently they are inseparable and it's an example that you can have personalities that "jell" even at a preschool age.

And he really is the sweetest little boy you ever could meet. Like if your daughter, who was in daycare from 8-5:30 could be hanging out with another kid everyday, this would totally be that kid.

We knew about "Kyle" before Maddie brought it up - just from our daycare provider letting us know how adorable they were together, how much fun they had together, yadda yadda yadda.

And then at storytime at night, his name would start to come up. The random bunny on page 6 would be "Kyle's". The little boy going to bed at the end of the book was "Kyle". Again with the adorableness and that proud mama bear feeling of your child building relationships outside of her family that she enjoyed. I was such an introverted little kid that it was literally painful for me to make friends. So watching her do this with ease and charm, it was a bit of a learning experience for me.

But then came the icing on the cake. A few days ago - Maddie sitting in her highchair at dinner time, telling us random shit things about randomness, and these words came out, "Maddie play park with Kyle. Kyle Maddie friends."

You know you want to... let's do it together: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......

And also - she's not even 2 yet! I so love that she gets what the hell a friend even IS, much less making them like it ain't no thang.

xxoo.S

Tonight

During Maddie's bedtime routine...

Hubs: Have you noticed her bald spot?

Me: Errr.... her what-now?

Hubs: Bald spot. She has a bald spot. Right here. [Pointing to the middle of the back of her head - also known as her blonde spot]

Me: Dude - that's just blonde hair.

Hubs: It's not blonde - it's sparse. From all the pony tails you put in her hair. [Making the hand motion of me yanking her hair in two different directions]

Me: [snorting I am laughing so hard] You think she's going bald from my hairstyling? And seriously, they're called PIG-tails when there's two of them. How do you not know this?

Hubs: Pony. Pig. Just stop doing it while she still has some hair on her head.

Me: [continuing to chuckle and silently roll my eyes] Sure thing...

xxoo.S

PS - For the record - I put her hair in pigtails about 3 times a week. At most. So ... yeah. Not so worried that I'm balding my daughter...

PPS - Men are jackasses.

Why?

It is official. We have a toddler.

The dreaded arrival of the classic toddler question made it's ugly debut this weekend. On Friday night. While colouring with Daddy. In response to his gentle rebuke to not draw on her shirt with the marker.

"Why?" asks my innocent little cherub.

"Because it makes the laundry harder for Mommy." he responded. Sigh. Sad, but true.

"Oh." She was satisfied at one answer. Too good to be true. Perhaps it was just a fluke? Perhaps we had a few more blissful weeks free?

That hope was crushed first thing Saturday morning, as I greeted Miss Maddie in her crib, all touseled and still sleepy. "Ooooh Daddy at?"

"He's still sleeping Bugaloo." I responded.

"Why?"

Right. And so it begins...

xxoo.S

"Toot"

Scene after tonight's bath:

Maddie toots.

Maddie says, "toot?".

I say, "Yep. That was a toot."

Seth says, "I love how our daughter says eight words. And one of them is, toot."

xxoo.S