Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Bullet-this

I shouldn't even be posting right now - but I find when I get to write it out, it leaves my mind (if only for a bit) ... so if you don't feel like being part of my recessionerapy, carry on elsewhere...

  • People who judge moms who work - like full-time at other jobs - suck. Because you know what - you're right, I HAVE a choice. And I choose NOT to raise my kids in a squatter apartment in Siberia. Because I'm pretty sure that's all we could afford on one income. I live NORTH OF 7. Haven't I made enough comprises???
  • Speaking of work... Yes, I do work from home 3 days a week. Yes, my daughter is in daycare from 8-5. No, I don't think I could get as much done with her around. Seriously? Have you ever tried to write a 4 sentence email with a toddler around? Because, yeah. It doesn't work. And I'm already borderline homicidal on a good day.
  • And speaking of working-from-home... No, I didn't see yesterday's Oprah. Or Rachel Ray. Or Ellen. I know you don't believe me - but I w.o.r.k. from home. I don't sit on a couch in front of the tv with my laptop open. I actually do shit. Imagine that...
  • Yes, I know could tone/tighten/lose that baby weight. If I actually TRIED. I am well aware of my lack of effort and no, I really don't expect to lose weight just because I want to. (am totally lying - thought I would've dropped 10lbs just by the force of owning an elliptical)
  • Am I aware that I wear less makeup/dress more casually/am wearing flat shoes? Yes fucko, I am. Am also aware that I am currently (like right now! right this very minute!) wearing jeans with stretch denim for a waist, kinda like maternity pants (but I assure you they are not...please see below). Does that mean I gave up? No. But I'm far more comfortable now, fuckyouverymuch.
  • How long am I waiting to have a 2nd child? This is my fave. Here's the answer du jour: "Wow - you sure like personal questions!" Does said person often continue to badger for an answer? You'd think not right? Oh no ... they totally do. Next time I'm just going to scream in the little old lady's face at the grocery store as a distraction. Then she and the cashier can talk about how much they hope I DON'T have a 2nd...
  • And lastly (and most timely of all) - no, I'm not cooking a turkey for Thanksgiving. No, I don't plan on doing so. I have a thing about raw poultry and shoving things up the bum of a bird. Yes, I'm aware this makes me weird. Doesn't mean I don't love eating turkey and all it's yummy sidekicks. Yes, I totally get the selfish, self-serving spin of this all. I'm an only child, whaddya want?
xxoo.S

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yikes who did you have coffee with today?

grama v said...

Double yikes I am glad I am in Kingston today LOLOLOL

Carly said...

Holyhell, do I hate the "Oh, you work from home? Isn't it nice to spend the time with your girls?!" WTF, people...

MC said...

What brought all this on??

Sara...noH said...

@Melis - it wasn't one specific thing...more a case of it all piling up over a period of time, and then this is what came out when I sat down to post.

@Carly - thank you my friend - I knew you would commiserate with that point!

mytornadoalley said...

I love you and you're my new girlfriend. (was that creepy? 'cause I was trying my best)

Funny lady.

I'm not cooking a turkey either. Food always tastes better when my mom cooks it anyway.

And, even though I have two kids, I still get "you gonna try for a boy?" or "when's the third coming?" I'm going to stop being polite and scream in their face next time. They'd probably prefer that then me telling them that I had my husband disfigure his man-junk in order to avoid just such an accident.

Sara...noH said...

Yes - the screaming in the face is a great distraction tool. People should use this more often... :)