Friday, July 24, 2009


I thought after Maddie turned 1, that I had managed to get through most of the stuff that moms worry about. You know, those "developmental milestones" that everyone gets hung up on. And the sleep thing (O.M.G. the sleep issues) - no more worrying about whether I was doing it right, or who had what theory and how old vs. how new was this theory and OMG am I damaging her beyond all possible repair??!?!?

But after about a year, it got better. Maybe because when you go back to work full time you can't possible worry about every little thing because thenyourheadwillexplode... and breathe.

So we* have been taking a more lax approach** to parenting. Not losing our mind about whether she got enough veggies, or playtime, or fresh air, or whether she had too much junk food or tv that day.

But every once in a while you do that, don't question yourself a whole lot. Then through random accidental conversation, find out that in fact, you're pretty off mark.

I'm talking about bedtime. Maddie goes to bed around 8-ish. Usually not before. Often closer to 8:30.

In a totally innocent convo with some other moms I met recently, we started chatting about bedtimes. And my ears started to perk up. "6pm." "7pm." "7:30 is the latest we'll go."

I was like, wha? Oh shit...

You take your eye off the ball for one second and this is what happens. Bamm.

And I look at it - Maddie's totally tired and getting grumpy around 7pm. It's us that can't get our shit together. Trying to get dinner and all that stuff done, plus some quality playtime before bed? We have been selfishly keeping her up later because we want to spend time with her.

So we're making the change. Last night she was in bed by 7:45. It felt a bit rushed, but I think we should be able to scale it back to 7:30. I don't know how much earlier we can really go though - as we don't usually finish dinner until about 7pm - and it takes 1/2 hour to do bath and bedtime routine.

We'll see...


*Hahaha - I say "we" but don't "we" all know that I mean "I" of course. Because hubby is already such a relaxed parent that I often check for the heartbeat. Yup, still alive. Carry on.

**Most of my good friends are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads at this. Because they are the epitome of relaxed. And I know, in our group, we are known as the "uptight" parents. But really, we have relaxed. REALLLY WE HAVE!!!!


grama said...

I was not rolling my eyes I was giggling
love grama

Rob said...

My gawd, if our kids would go to sleep by 6:00 or 7:00 I'd love it. Think of how much more evening you'd gain! Isla's close to 8:00, and Lilo is more like 9:00 these days. I think the point is, it's whatever works for your family situation. No one is a "better" parent than you just because their kid goes to be at 6:30 every night.

SnH said...

Oh no - I didn't mean that they were better parents... just that it might help with Maddie's sleep...

I know there's no "normal" but it's always interesting to hear from other moms, and when you hear that and go, Hmmmmm, I'm like an hour later than most - but same wakeup time - just made me think is all...

Deb said...

Austin has gone to bed between 8 and 8:30 (sometimes closer to 9 now) since he was about 1 or so. Alex goes to bed around 8. They're both up at 7ish. (With me not working, wake up time isn't fixed.) Rob's right, it's really whatever works best for your family and your kid. As long as she seems to be getting enough sleep then that's all that matters.
And personally, I never understood people who told me their kid goes to bed at 6 or 6:30 p.m. I'm like 'huh', what the hell time does your kid wake up in the morning then?! And when do you ever get to see your kid?