Heartbreaking

Usually, during the daycare drop off dance, Maddie gives me a cursory glance as she scrambles out of her carseat (yes, we're still using the bucket - she's tiny!), and then runs off to the playroom to hang out with the other kids.

Grumpy, tired, happy, energized.  It's never really mattered.  She's never been that clingy.

Until today.

Don't get me wrong.  She didn't cling and cry and make me feel like a bad mom.  She just hovered. Hovered around my legs while I stood chatting with Alexise. Rebuffed the advances of the friendly 3 year old that is usually the one leading Maddie away from me, by the hand.

I didn't give in to the urge to make a big deal about it.  I just did what I always do, gave her a big hug and kiss, and told her to be a good girl and have a good day.  

Then I opened the door to leave.  As I'm shutting it, Maddie comes barreling towards the door. There's a long vertical window beside the door, which is what she pressed her face up to as she slowly (sadly?) clenched and unclenched her fist "bye bye". 

And that wasn't even what got me!  It was her big, brown, soulful eyes staring at me.  Not crying.  Not making a fuss.  Just looking at me like, "I'd rather be with you today Mommy."

Me too, bubs.  Me too...

xxoo.S