Thursday, September 23, 2010

Three Months

Dear Katie,

Three months - you are a big girl already! I can't believe that our year is a quarter of the way over - and yet you still feel so new to me.

I love that you're still a little cuddle monster - you love being in my arms and I love snuggling with you while your sister is at daycare. We've got our daily routine down now - while Maddie is in daycare in the mornings we either run errands or do things around the house while you doze in the sling or sometimes we just sit and watch bad tv for an hour or so. It feels a bit lazy but I know the days where you'll just be happy to chill in my arms is fleeting and so I'm greedily taking advantage of it and screw the housework.

We started Pilates this month - you love it as long as you're down in the action. Meaning on the mat, watching me quiver with exertion while my poor stomach muscles beg me to stop. You find this hilarious and coo and smile at me constantly.

You really have started interacting with us - including Daddy - which is nice, because he was feeling left out there for a while. You love to talk and given any sideways glance you start cooing and owwwing and waving your arms energetically looking for some attention.

Oh the tightrope of guilt I walk whilst I give one of you attention and the other is doing handstands trying to tear my attention over their way... This too I know is fleeting and soon it will be me trying to get your attention while you and your sister play off in your own little world, so I'm okay with feeling pulled in so many directions right now. It's nice to be popular...

What else can I tell you about your life as it is at 3 months? You are chilled - much less angry and grumpy and snorty and groany than when you entered the world. You're happy as long as you're in on the action, sitting in the bouncy chair being a spectator to the goings on. You have a million and a half smiles for me and for your sister - and just this month you are so down with your Daddy and his attention too.

And the sleep ... damn it's good. You sleep like I never realized a baby could sleep. Why is this? Is it because we put you in the crib from the first month? Is it because I'm more relaxed and have let you fuss a bit longer to give you the ability to lull yourself back to sleep? Or is it because you are YOU. Your own little person and where Maddie struggled you just champion through? No clue - but I love it. You're usually in bed between 8:30-9pm and you sleep anywhere from 4:30 to 6:30 ... and then back down again for another 2-3 hours. I actually wake up more because of other silly things like poor bladder capacity than because of you. And the daytime sleep is amazing as well - you always take at least a shorter nap of about an hour and a longer nap of 2 hours or more.

Really, I feel like I'm bragging - but if you went back and read about my sleep obsession with your sister at this age, you'd understand...

So that's you - an attentive, chilled little cuddle-monkey that sleeps through the night like it ain't no big thang... Squawking only to get some attention every once in a while and giving most strangers the crook eye to really make them work for a smile.

I like your style already lady...


I'm glad this got to be my next post after the last. It's hard to feel normal about being flippant and writing about everyday nuances of life when everything is so changed. There's guilt about acting like everything is normal and there's guilt about not acting like everything is normal... This weekend is the memorial service and I'm looking forward to being surrounded by family and getting some closure. Thank you for all the thoughtful notes - I know I've been extra quiet, but it's been very appreciated.

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