But now, as I drop Maddie off at daycare everyday, and come back home, I get SUCH feelings of guilt if I'm not working 100% the entire day. Because the thought goes through my mind - just who do you think you are? Having someone else take care of your child while you fritter away valuable time at home?
And being the procrastinating, deadline-driven worker that I am, I often do my best, most efficient work as time is winding down (i.e. late afternoon, or hours before a project is due). Why am I like that? I don't know - always have been though and I don't see it changing anytime soon. But of course, that means that a lot of my mornings, while working from home, are spent wracked with guilt. Guilt that I should be working. Guilt that I'm paying someone to watch my child while I chat on the phone with a girlfriend. Guilt that if I wasn't working, I should at least be doing SOMETHING (washing the floors? ironing clothes? I don't know - but I can say in the past, my house is always at it's cleanest when I'm working on a big work project - see, I can channel my procrastination so it's somewhat productive).
So here I am. Writing a blog post about it. And feeling guilty...