We kicked it off Saturday morning by going to the mall. Because who better to shop for a bathing suit with, than your 19-month-old daughter? I think I tried on, like, 10,000 suits. And finally found one that would a) not ride up my bum crack constantly and b) fight Maddie's advances to publicly flash me again.
After buying the dreaded bathing suit (ps, Sears? I haven't shopped you in a while, and now I remember why...) we headed into the actual mall to pick up some CDs for Mommy and a frozen yogurt for Maddie. All was going well - Maddie was SUPER AWESOME the whole time. I love how well-behaved she is when shopping, and part of me believes the whole reason she is so awesome at the mall is because of all the times I took her out when she was only a millisecond old, as I was going stir-crazy in the house, and decided she needed to learn what the outdoors (and by outdoors, I mean inside the mall) looked like.
However, this weekend, I learned, by teaching her a love of the shops, I've created a monster.
Picture this - it's 11:30 and we need to head home to do the lunch thing, so she can do the nap thing, so I can do the housework thing. We stroll back to Sears, where I had parked initially. Take the elevator down to the bottom floor, and get out right next to the garden section. Decor for your garden, to be specific.
All of a sudden Maddie is twisting and reaching and squirming and repeating, "Pwetty, pwetty, pwetty, PWETTTTTYYYYYYY!!!!!!"
I look in the direction of all her kerfuffle, and see the ugliest ornamental crane/bird/creature made out of hammered tin. Um.....kay.
"You like the birdie, Maddie?" I ask, trying to stifle my urge to be like, DUDE, this is the ugliest godawful thing in the entire world and whatthehelliswrongwithyourtaste???
"YESH! Yesh. Pwetty. Tweet-tweet."
Right. So over we stroll. To the ugly bird-creature. Which I then see, costs $45. FORTY FIVE DOLLARS. Seriously? Um......kay. Time to do some redirection...
"Well that is an interesting looking bird, Maddie. And look at this - pretty butterfly, with all the crystals, and legitimate-prettiness..."
That worked. It got her mind off the bird. And she admired the butterfly (one of those cast-iron dealios that sit on a stick and bounce in your garden). It was pretty. It had crystals. She touched those a bit.
And then I decided it was time to leave.
"NOOOOOOOOOO. Pwetty! Maddie's pwetty. Maddie's. Maddie's. Mineminemineminemine PWWEEEETTTTTYYYYYYYYY!"
Redirection turns into a monster.
I pick up the butterfly. It's only $12. Game. Check. Match.
And that is how Maddie hit her "Manipulate Mommy into buying me something at the store" milestone this weekend.