Thursday, August 13, 2009

Theoretically speaking

I was actually going to research, and link to sources, and quote and you know, try to write a post that sounded in some way investigated and unbiased.

Buuut, I don't really believe in trying to be something you're not.

So why don't you all just trust me on this one. LOTS OF EXPERTS say that it's normal for kids to go through stages where they favour one parent over the other.

Reasons include (and I'm totally paraphrasing the theories with my own annoyance - thanks for taking it all with a grain of salt...):
  1. One parent is around more often (read "stay-at-home-mom-or-dad") and is therefore so available that they become boring and uninteresting compared to the other parent.
  2. The child loves the one parent so much and feels so comfortable around him/her that they feel like they can be a complete asshole to said parent and nothing bad will really happen to their relationship.
  3. Because of a new baby, jealousy could be playing a role (or the child is simply going to the parent that actually is available more often - pretty much the direct opposite of theory #1, above).
  4. The child and the parent that is out of favour are speaking different "Love Languages" (dude, I can't MAKE this shit up).
  5. One parent is busy doing things (like errands/chores and the like), while the other parent is not and plays with the child constantly, and therefore viewed as being more "fun" (I like to call this the "2 children in the house" theory).
  6. It's just a stage. Your child will get over it. (This is the theory that invariably gets slapped on any situation where any of the above don't actually apply, or they do, but it's just so much easier to call it a "stage".)
However, since it's been a few months now that I've been spending time in the unfavoured parent camp, I figure I can offer a few theories of my own...
  • The "Your child is a Libra, you are a Capricorn, your husband is an Aries" theory. This theory actually requires that a friend of mine explain it - because I don't remember why they are destined to get along so much better, or so much more easily. But they are. It's DESTINED.
  • The "She's clearly a Daddy's Girl and you just need to have baby #2 and it will be a boy and then you'll have a child who likes you" theory. Um. This theory only works if I do, in fact, have a boy. And that boy doesn't actually want to play sports or do any of those other "male-bonding" things that boys like to do. Like fish. Or eat worms.
  • The "Just wait until she wants to go shoe shopping and see who the favourite is then" theory. Will take a bit more time - but my money is definitely on this one...
  • The "You're right, she doesn't really like you all that much" theory. Hmmmm - that's not really a theory, is it? Let's bottle that one back up in the little dark place it was hiding, shall we?
  • The "Perhaps all you parents need to grow the F up and stop worrying about who your kid likes better" theory. This is actually the Hubby's theory. And he's usually wrong about stuff in general, soooo...
  • The "If you'd just stop saying 'no' all the time, she might like you a bit more" theory. This one sounds promising. If I lived in a world where freezies were great dinner choices, throwing toys was acceptable, and so was slapping people.
  • The "It really probably is just a stage, and she'll get over it soon" theory. The clear winner. It's a highly unique theory. Expect it to be the all the rage on parenting sites soon.

1 comment:

Rob said...

No surprise here, but I like Seth's theory the best.