How to torture oneself in 7 easy steps

1. Decide to have an early night, because it's been a long week and you're tired.
2. Enjoy a nice cup of hot milk prior to bed (yes indeed, I do this often - it's cozy and warm and helps me sleep, so shut it).
3. Fall asleep instantly and enjoy said sleep for 1.5 hours.
4. Be awoken by a call over the monitor... "Mommy.... Maddie want milk".
5. Realize as you awake that, shit, you drank the last of the milk before you went to bed.
6. Try to explain this absence of milk to an increasingly demanding and irrational toddler.
7. Deal with the fall out for a full THREE HOURS while you seriously consider just driving to the local 24 hr shop to buy the milk that will just.shut.her.up. (But don't actually do it - because that would be c.r.a.z.y.)

Yes, we still give Maddie a bottle when she asks for it when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Yes, we realize how ridiculous this is for a 2.5 year old.

But in fairness - we have been discussing (for about a year now) just how to stop this. And due to the fact that she is so against drinking milk during the day (remember? I've whined about this a few times I'm sure), it's always been easy to rationalize giving it to her before bed and at night time.

So last night - well, I guess that was just fate stepping in and forcing us to play the tough love card. Because there was no way in hell we were driving to the local convenience store to buy milk at midnight. Not that we wanted her to cry - but really? At some point you just have to say no - and I get it - and we've sucked as parents - and taken the easy road until now - especially as she only wakes up like 2 or 3 times a month for milk, it's not an every night thing. So it was always easy to just do it "one more time" every time.

For the record? We are idiots. So all you experienced moms that are silently rolling your eyes at our weakness right now? We KNOW, okay? We totally should have stopped this habit ages ago. 

Because a tired, demanding, irrational 2.5 year old is a far cry different from a 1.5 year old. At least from what I can remember. 

Let's just say, there was a lot of crying last night. And yelling. And screaming. And hitting. And temper-tantruming. A good 3 hours worth, in fact.

But in the end, after a book (reading Cinderella TWO TIMES IN A ROW at 2am? a.w.e.s.o.m.e.) and a few sips of juice (don't judge don't judge don't judge - it was all part of the hostage negotiations - sweet, blessed sleep, being the hostage) - we got the little monster back to bed and content with going back to sleep.

She then continued to play with her dolls in her crib for another 1/2 hour or so. Reenacting essentially the entire milk drama-rama of the past few hours. With "Dora-baby" playing the roll of the milk-demanding child and Maddie playing the Mommy trying to reason with her that "there's just no milk right now - we're all out - it's allllllllll done!"". 

It was all a bit surreal. Until I turned the monitor off...

xxoo.S