Thursday, May 13, 2010

34 weeks

It was around this time last pregnancy that I was moving house and completely done work. Sounds early, going off on maternity leave 6 weeks ahead of time, but our moving timing and accumulated vacation pay seemed to justify the month-ish early (and then I went 6 or 7 days overdue).

I think back to that time and wow. I remember being able to lug boxes and do things - but I also remember taking A LOT of naps. Resting for an hour between stints of unpacking boxes. And things taking four times as long as I ever anticipated them to.

I also remember it being such a time of change. Scary and emotional (moving from the city to the suburbs, buying your first house and having your first baby - that's a lot of change for one month - much less for a crazy-hormone-addled-pg-lady) - I should count my lucky stars that the Hubs and I survived it.

This time I still feel like I have so much to do - along with another 4 weeks to go with work. And yet, I'm not really stressed. Probably because the fear of the unknown is so diminished?

The nursery may or may not get done - meh, no one will really notice anyways. The crib is in the room, there's a few onesies hanging in the closet - that's good enough, right?

The house will very much most likely not be cleaned to accommodate hosting all the new-baby-visitors that like to drop by. Again, meh, perhaps it's time for us to put the cards on the table - let people see the squalor that we pretend not to live in on an everyday basis.

Any preemptive cooking to stock up for when the baby comes (one thing I really wished I had done more of last time and promised myself I would for-sure-absolutely do this time) - not done and don't see it happening anytime soon. And I say, meh. We (luckily) have low standards and an M&M's lasagna will do just as well as any homemade one.

Perhaps the nesting instinct has subsided to give me a break for a bit.

Perhaps this week has already been too much for me and my brain is shutting off out of complete survival mode.

Regardless - I like the new lack of baby-prep-stress. I don't expect it to stay like this, but I'll enjoy it while I can.

A few requests for a baby-belly pic have been made - would love to accommodate, but lack of a camera makes that difficult. And my puffy cold/allergy/virus-ridden face refuses to acknowledge the quasi-photo-taking-device that exists on my blackberry.

I hope I get better for next week - my first priority is to go camera shopping before the Hubs can change his mind about this expenditure.

But for now... survival mode.


PS - thank you to all for the condolences and support around our loss of Si. Writing that post was cathartic to me - I never realized the guilt that would accompany the decision we had to make. I'm healing. We're all healing. However - word of advice for anyone making a vet appointment like that? Don't do it on a Tuesday. That's definitely a Friday afternoon type of appointment. Unless you can take a few days off to process. Because fresh pet bereavement does not a productive worker make.

No comments: