Hippity Hop

Easter came for two little girls this year. While Katie (obviously) didn't participate in the egg hunt this year - she loved watching Maddie (her favourite past-time anyways) and I had visions for next year's Easter already. Maddie got her "little Rapunzel" she so desperately pined for this past month. Katie got a new ball for the backyard and some Crayola baby markers to call her own.

The Easter Bunny even set a tea party to create more ambiance! What a clever bunny!

 My childhood dollhouse has a little balcony on one side - from which "little Rapunzel" hung her hair all morning.

Matching dresses and white cardis - I love Easter. Also - say hi to a random Seamus pic - we took several "family" pictures before I thought about including the poor little scruff.

Hope your weekend was just as enjoyable!

xxoo.S

Ten Months

Dear Katie,

You were a milestone machine this month my bug-a-lug - crawling, pulling up, cruising, first words. You knocked them out one after another. No wonder you couldn't sleep - too much going on in that little brain of yours.
 
We also survived your first fever this month. Oh my little one, you were so sick and it was so sad and my heart just broke for you. I did my best to make you better as quickly as possible - stomach flus are nasty I'm afraid - but you were miserable for almost an entire week.

Even through all of this, you smiled, giggled and belly laughed more this month than ever before. You love the tickle-tickle game, itsy bitsy spider and this little piggy. You love your books - we're now up to 4 books before bedtime - you grab for the next one before I'm done reading.

You're (learning to) liking the swing and being outdoors more and more. Our new habit is to go for walks with you in the Bjorn facing out, instead of in the stroller. This gives Mumma more exercise and I think you like being up high.

I can't wait for Spring to get here so you can see just how fun our backyard can be. There's water and sand and toys and slides and swings - so much to play with. And I know Maddie can't wait to have a little cohort to share it all with.

We love you my little sweetheart - from the top of your fuzzy little head to the tips of your nom-nom-nom toes. I can't believe it's been 10 months. Oh how time is flying...

Love,
Mommy

Ma-ma

Katie spent yesterday and today pretty sick - fever of 104 type of sick. Not fun. No sleep. No keeping fluids down (until I started administering them by the 1/2 tsp via medicine dropper - never tried it before, will swear by this method forever, as it really worked at keeping her hydrated)....

Anyhoo - it meant she was Misery Incorporated. Wanted to be held. Then too hot to be held. Wanted to sleep. Too miserable to sleep. You know how it goes - and as Maddie would say, "She's just a baby Mommy, she doesn't know anything" --> I guess that would also go for the whole, doesn't even know why she's feeling so shitty, but she just wants Mama to make it all go away.

Apparently wants that to happen so bad, that she dug real deep and said "MA-MA" while I was cuddling her at one point today.

WOOT! Katie is on a roll, people! If this were hockey she'd be doing a double hat-trick or some other bullshit sports analogy...

xxoo.S

Milestone Mania

I've been feeling the crunch of guilt when I think of the future conversation I am destined to have with Katie that will go something like this, "Mom, why did you write five bloody paragraphs every time Maddie achieved a 'first' when she was a baby, and you didn't even write about it in my baby book when I did?"

Uh.. yeah. I'm tired of apologizing for not writing and saying it's been a tough week because that started getting old about four weeks ago. I don't like people who make excuses so I won't. Let's just leave it at: I just plain suck at keeping up with anything these days. You don't even want to see the state of my laundry. Trust me.

Instead, let's talk about some Katie milestones, shall we? Because she is like a little wonder baby these days. I already mentioned in a previous post about her first word (and subsequent more "official" first word that she repeats all the time now - tickle tickle - which she said on April 8th). Then, that same weekend (on Sun, Apr 10th), she started pulling up (mainly on Daddy) to a standing position. And the look of pride/happiness/"look at what I just did!" look on her face is super-awesome-fantastic!

The very next day (Mon, Apr 11th) she started officially cruising - and by cruising, I mean slowly shuffling her feet while making the slowest of slow process around our ottoman. She is by no means cruising around all helter skelter. Oh no, it's slow. And she complains and whines the entire time, reaching for my fingers so she can "walk" instead. But hey, a milestone is a milestone, right? Moving right along...

As the week went on, she started to do more and more of the whole crawling backwards thing when she was on her belly, which then turned into the backwards scoot into sitting position (Tues, Apr 12th). Which is when I started thinking, hmm, she may just crawl (because just before Maddie figured out the whole forward crawl thing, she figured out how to back herself up into a sitting position).

And then.... and theeeeennnnnnnnnnn..... Wed, April 13th - forward motion! Not technically a crawl (yet), but she definitely was army crawling/dragging herself forward if you put something super intriguing (like my blackberry) just out of reach in front of her. Progress! "She'll be crawling by the end of April!" I would brag to everyone I spoke to.

And then came Friday, April 15th. She was getting up on all fours so easily all day and doing that adorable rock-rock-rocking motion they do (you know what I'm talking about). So sometime after lunch, Katie decided she wanted to get at Maddie's Barbie (much to Maddie's dismay). I quickly grabbed the camera, straight-armed Maddie aside and commandeered her Barbie to use as bait. (Which means Katie's first crawl video has Maddie protesting the entire operation quite loudly in the background while I wrestle her into the background with my left arm - classy, all-the-way-classy).

So there you go future-Katie - your wonder-week of milestones has been documented! Guilt?? Go away now please...

xxoo.S

PS - I'd love to say we spent the weekend helping Katie perfect her newfound skill, except both kids have been sick with some nasty cold/flu/cough-type virus. And yes, by "kids" I'm including The Hubs.

3.5

Dear Madds,

You are three and a half. Or, as you would say, thee-an-a-HALF! Extra emphasis on the half, of course.

Oh my, you are such a little girl now. The baby chub is gone - long gone in fact. You're all bones now. Bony knees and elbows that dig into me when you crawl into bed in the wee hours of the morning. (Yes, that's your new trick and to be honest - I haven't the heart to kick you out - yet).

But while you're looking more and more like a little girl, there are still so many reminders of toddlerhood, as if it's trying as hard as I'd like it to, to keep it's hold over you. The toddler pot-belly you get after a big meal. The stumble-y toddler klutziness that comes when you're over-tired. The toddler pronunciation of so many words still.

And yet.. you've started calling me "ridiculous" (where'd you get that from, huh?). You want to use a knife to cut up your own meat. You can (but don't always) drink out of a "big girl" cup.

You count. You reason. You deduce. Hell, you find loopholes in the "rules" we give you.

You negotiate (very well, I might add). You dress yourself ("Does this match?" you're constantly asking). You compliment and share and act so considerately of other little friends that my heart just wants to burst with pride.

You stand with your hands on your hips in defiance if you're pissed at me about something. You tell me "I'm angry at you momma!" You test my limits and watch me try to rein in my frustration and temper and I can see when you're just pressing my buttons for the sake of it, because your eyes squint up in mischief while doing so.

You can exasperate me with your dawdling. And yet, so many times, you are dawdling because you're seeing things, noticing things that I never would have looked at. "Lookit that bird over there momma - why won't he fly over here and sit on my hand?" That was our first red robin of spring you saw the other day - and I probably would have missed it in my rush to the car, had it not been for you.

You colour oh so well these days - and take great pleasure in deciding just what colour to choose for the princess' dress. And you draw - you can draw FACES! And people (well, 4 lines for arms and legs coming directly out of the head - but it's effing awesome is what it is). And you so badly want to be able to write your name - so we practice - M-M-M-M-M-M-M - you try to write M's all day long.

You are such a picky eater that it makes my head explode - and yet, I think (knock-on-wood-knock-on-wood) that we are coming back around on this curve as you are more willing to try "one bite" or "just a taste" of things more and more instead of point blank refusing. Often you end at just that one bite, but the victory in just getting you to taste more foods is, in itself, sweet enough for now.

You sing. You dance. You're constantly performing and joking and laughing and trying to make us laugh. You insist everyone around you is "a clown!" - knowing perfectly well that it is, in fact, you that is the clown.

We started a new family tradition this year - to celebrate half-birthdays. No fancy party. Just a family affair.

For this half-birthday we went out, just you and Mommy, to see a Max & Ruby live show in Oshawa and then out to a restaurant for dinner. It was your first theatre experience and you loved it. Getting up in the aisles to dance or jump and clap - you couldn't hold the excitement of just watching your favourite characters up on stage - you had to move to express it. And then, at the restaurant, I introduced you to my childhood favourite - the Shirley Temple. You declared it DEEEEEELISHUS and only for fancy girls (like us) on fancy days (like your half-birthday).

I had such a fabulous time with you and I'm pretty sure you had a great time too. I hope it was a half-birthday to remember, although I know you probably won't. But I will. For both of us.

Love you my little boo.

Love,
Mommy

Well, she hit that milestone

We (myself and the girls) spent the past week away visiting family in Kingston. As Maddie would say, "We visit lots of people's houses!" - yes, it was a busy visit, as it so often is, but luckily the kids didn't get totally wrang-y - as so often happens when we're sleeping at different houses, off schedule and such.

And... while we were away - although Katie didn't start the massive milestone of crawling, she did pop out her first "word"! (Yes, she's been saying da-da-da and ba-ba-ba and the rare ma-ma-ma - but really? I don't know if these really count).

This was clear. It was definitive. It was... "NO!" (in the face of being licked to death by my mom's overly zealous dog) - accompanied by a head shake and push away.

Well, we knew she was going to have some strong opinions, of course her first word is no.

(So was mine.)

I haven't heard a "NO" since (maybe that means she's been happy?) - but then I shared the "tickle tickle" game with her (a made-up game I play with Madds - tickling up her leg to a different body part each time, while you say, "tickle tickle tickle...... belly! [or whatever place you end up]" - yes, that does sound weird trying to explain it). Anyhoodle - she thought the game was bloody hilarious and belly-laughed her way through it. And now? Randomly, out of nowhere, she'll just start saying "tickle tickle". Yes, it's very mumbly and she sticks her tongue out whilst doing it (damn, I gotta get video of it because it's really the cutest thing ever) - but it's clear and she gets a massive grin if you say back to her, "tickle tickle!".

Yes, she's a flipping genius.


Of course she is. Was there any doubt?

xxoo.S

Nine Months

Dear Katie,

Oh, what a month my little Katiebear. It's been stressful to say the very least.

We spent the month trying to fatten you up as much as possible - on strict doctor's orders. You moved from solely breastfeeding to solely bottle-feeding (you dealt with this far better than I did). And you moved away from jarred foods into the table-food arena of eating. This proved a bit challenging, because as much as you dislike the purees, your gummy chewing abilities still have a ways to go before we're offering you steak and the like.

However - we learned that you LOVE avocado when mixed with a bit of tomato and cream - guacamole for beginners. You also love broccoli, little hunks of overcooked carrot, pasta (any kind of pasta - avec beurre svp), salmon, yogurt and RASPBERRIES. Oh, how you love raspberries. Then again, they are the best fruit imaginable - so I totally get it.

Daddy and I did the unimaginable and left the country for 4 whole days this month. Grandma & Grandpa V and Bucky came up to take care of you and your sister. Apparently you were a sweetheart, taking your bottles like a pro, sleeping far better than you ever do for us, and enjoying the attention lavished upon you. It was so hard to leave - if it wasn't a free trip to Mexico in the final throes of winter, I'm not sure I would have gone. Again, I took it much harder than you did. You independent little thing.

This month also brought about your obsession with walking. Any chance you get, you'll grip onto my fingers and just start motoring towards whatever/whoever tickles your fancy. You've gotten quite good and can even stand for a second or two unassisted before starting to topple. I keep encouraging you to use the little push-walker, but you have absolutely no interest as of yet.

That being said - crawling is still a non-issue. You are starting to roll and scoot a bit more - but crawling seems like it may never happen. My back needs a break from all the assisted walking though - so we'll be "working on" your crawling this month...

Because - oh the frustration! You know when you want something. And to watch the frustration in your face when you flail and "air swim" to try and get there - oh it's comical and yet endearing, because you, my love, have a Temper. Yes, mastering the ability to craw would make everyone much happier I think.

You have also started "talking" so much more. We hear "da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da" all day long. I get the odd ma-ma-ma-ma -- usually when you're annoyed or grumpy or upset about something. "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba" has started to come out often too - I'm not sure if you mean bottle just yet, or just making sounds - but it's amazing to watch the words starting to form. You are going to be a chatterbox just like your sister - I'd bet the farm on that.

You're also learning sign language and you're already signing "all done" and "more" quite well - not consistently, but definitely when you want to get your point across. And you love the baby signing classes - you flirt with the teacher and try to "kiss" the little boy sitting next to you - I wish we had more baby classes to take you to, as you so love being around little ones your age.

Oh my Katiebear - you are turning into such a little girl - still so much baby, and yet I can see your personality poking through more and more and more.

I can't wait to see what this month brings - you are our sunshine - filling up the days with brightness.

Now, just learn to sleep, would you? Please?

Love,
Mommy

Sigh of relief

Wow it's been a while and I've been silent. I do that when I don't like life - just kind of hibernate and deal with the now and my energies don't extend to complaining quite as vocally. Which is in direct contrast as to how I deal with minor hiccups - I'm usually quite a loud, complainy, bitch.

But now I can talk to you again, because on Monday we received word back on Katie's test results (the doc's office actually called me to give me the results over the phone! How refreshingly helpful is that?)... she passed them all and we're in the clear. We have a final follow up appointment with the pediatrician to wrap up the assessment and I'm guessing for us to ask any final questions, but yeah, we're done with the worry.

She is, as we hoped, just a tiny little thing.

Which she makes up for in massive attitude. Totally my girl...

xxoo.S

PS - I have to add - all the tests were performed at Toronto Sick Kids and W.O.W. is all I can say. Yes, there's a LOT of money put into that hospital - but it was the employees that we encountered that made a stressful visit just so much easier. They were all brilliant with Katie, brilliant with me - encouraging, efficient, comforting - pretty much everything you could hope for in a situation like that. What an incredible hospital with incredible staff.

This isn't an easy post to write

We had our follow up pediatrician appointment yesterday - Katie is still not gaining weight at any progressive rate that makes the doctor happy. Our little 8 month old weighed in at 14 lbs 2 ounces - which is actually down 2 ounces from when we were at the doctor a few weeks ago when she was sick.

Awesome possum.

And so - now we have to do tests. Start ruling things out (hopefully). Start loading up her food with butter or full-fat cream. And offer formula only.

There's the rub for me. That little sentence, "Oh - and quit the breastfeeding, now's the time for formula only." cut through me like a knife.

And I know it's best for her. And it's not about me. And regardless I shouldn't feel guilty. And we breastfed for 8 months and thats something to be proud of. And. And. And...

I don't get it - that I could breastfeed my first so easily, without issues and while she was tiny, she was always roly-poly. Smack dab between the 10th and 25th percentiles, never a cause for concern. Always a great eater. It makes no sense that I have trouble breastfeeding my second. It's supposed to get easier over time, not harder.

And yet - that's the best I can hope for. That somehow my milk is nutritionally deficient and that I'm at the root of this, because the alternatives could be far worse and I'm not even going there yet, because we have visits to Sick Kids and tests to run and bottles to push and extra-caloric butter to add to mashed potatoes right now.

That's where my focus is and needs to be. The future will tell us what the future will hold. No point in worrying about it now.

The silver, ironic little lining?

We came home from the appointment, she was EXHAUSTED and drank a 4 ounce bottle before her nap like it was no big deal. Of course she did, right? Because we haven't been fighting with her to take a bottle for 5 months or anything. Maybe she saw the determination in my eye. Or pure panicking desperation...

Regardless - she's taken 4 bottles thus far - all 3-4 ounces at a time. So we are doing what we can do for now.

xxoo.S

Bright shiny star

Even in my sleep-deprived grumpy bear-like state, I could help but brag about this...

That's right. She's a fucking genius.

xxoo.S

3am

The deepest part of night. Where things still go bump and boo and you can't be convinced that the shadow is just a shadow.

It's a time of night when thoughts get dark - things are bigger, worse, more troubling, more concerning - nothing is as it seems and everything seems as it shouldn't.

Rambling internal monologue is depressing and veers into the fantastical. Reality is tenuous and sleep is like a forgotten dream.

And through it all, there is a little person who needs you. For comfort. For snuggles.

She is your rock. Your grounding reality. Her eyes stare into yours, wide and dark pools of blackness - trusting you to be her rock.

And so you swallow your anger. Your self-pity. You find reserves that do not need sleep. And you hum one more lullaby...

xxoo.S

The Binky Fairy

I'm not sure if I've ever really explained what was (WAS - we'll get to that in a second!) Maddie's obsession with pacifiers (binkies in our house). She used them from like, the first week I think? She was a baby who NEEDED a binky. Otherwise she'd get all screamy and irritating.

As she got older, the hold on binkies got stronger. She used them all.the.time. We were those parents with a kid in the grocery store talking around her binky. We started to get comments and jabs from random strangers, well-meaning friends and family -- "So when do you think she'll be ready to give those up?" we'd be asked -- answer? Never. She would never give these up if given the choice.

The past, oh? YEAR or so has been a nightly routine of rounding up every binky she owned - between 6 and 8 - she always slept with one in her mouth and one clutched tightly in each hand. And if you were REALLY good she'd favour you with a binky rub. That's a rub of the pacifier up and down your cheek - it... well, I never really got what she got out of this - but it was her comfort thing.

So yes, in a nutshell - she was hooked.

I think it was filling out the kindergarten registration forms that did it. Seeing as she'll still only be 3 when she starts class in the fall, it's already so scary. But sending a binky-obsessed 3 year old? She'd get tossed out. Or ridiculed or something equally horrendous and guilt-inducing.

So we started talking up the "Binky Fairy". You know, the fairy that comes and leaves a fantastically wonderful gift if you leave all your binkies for her...

Never heard of her? Think Tooth Fairy but pimped out for maximum bribery leverage.

Maddie was all over this idea and she loved that the Binky Fairy would then give out her binkies to other little baby boys and girls that needed them.

My child is nothing if not altruistic -- seriously, she's such a good person I wonder who her real mother is sometimes.


She started bringing up the Binky Fairy in regular conversation. Even (handily) started telling me what she was going to be leaving for Maddie as a present when she gave up her binkies.

Ironically - it was fairies... I'm not sure why this amused me.


And so, this past weekend, we rounded up all the binkies in the house, put them in a lovely little box with a note from Maddie on the front. Tied it up with ribbon (what? I like my presentations) and left it at the front door before she went to bed.

Getting to sleep was difficult that night - but once she was finally down, she stayed there - all night. And in the morning there was a massive package waiting on the front step for her. Fairies - lots of them. And a little fairy kitchen set thing to go in the fairy house we've been making together.

Oh yes - we've been making a fairy house. I didn't have kids to not play and craft and make things, okay?

The gift went down a bomb. Especially the glittery hand-written thank you note from the Binky Fairy. That's been carted around and enjoyed almost as much as the actual gift.

And through all this? Zero tears. Kind of anti-climatic really - I mean, did I underestimate her obsession or is it the level-headed Libra in her that has simply accepted her fate?

Who cares. I'm just so happy to finally be on the other side of it.

xxoo.S

Eight Months

Dear Katie,

I write this while you slumber upstairs - sleep has been a challenge this month. You've been sick. You're teething. You're more aware now. And I give in - each and every time. But cuddles at 3am can sometimes be so nice (if I wasn't so bloody tired at the time). I'm hoping your teeth come soon - but I've learned (from your sister) that a watched pot never boils and have tried not to obsess over them too much.

Another challenge has been food. You hate baby food. HATE it. Where did you get this strong personality from, hmmm? And thus, far earlier than I planned, you have started on finger foods.  Banana chunks dusted in pulverized cheerios. Pasta pieces from my chicken noodle soup. Rice, mashed potatoes, toast, pizza crust - you are a carb-o-holic my little tiny thing.

And yes, you are still very tiny, off the scale in weight on the growth charts at just 14 lbs 4 ounces (although that weight was taken at the doctor's office while we were both quite sick from a nasty cold). It's a bit worrying - but you don't look skinny - just tiny, with chunk-a-monk thighs. In the meantime, I feed you avocado almost daily trying to fatten you up...

You love playtime and your new favourite thing is to "walk" with Daddy. I never really gave much credence to the whole "walk before they could crawl" baby stories - but this may be you... With no interest in crawling and whole lot of protesting whenever you're on your belly on the playmat, I'm not sure how you're even going to learn to crawl. And yet, you're so happy to be cruising around holding our hands or the furniture. I think you see your sister running circles around you and you just want to get up into the action!

We start baby signing classes this coming week - I think you're going to love being around other babies, since you take the opportunity to SCREECH at any babies you see while we're out shopping. And I'm looking forward to getting out of the house just the two of us.

What else to say about 8 months monkey? You are strong willed, you are inquisitive, you are a flirt (with Daddy mainly - you only have eyes for him once he gets home from work), you are a hard audience (but I can get a giggle or two daily from you if I try hard enough), you are easily frustrated and will be very happy to be mobile soon - you are a 5 year old trapped in an 8 month old's body.

Don't grow up too fast okay? I still want to enjoy your babyhood - trust me, there's lots of time for the running, skipping, jumping you seem to want to do. Baby steps...

We love you, our little Katiebear, so very much.

Love,
Mommy

Not for weak stomachs

I pondered actually sharing this story, because of the grossness factor - but it really was one for the archives, and so...

Our Family Day Monday was spent staying inside, all battling The Sick (with the exception of Maddie - the initial germ spreader). At one point I looked at the Hubs and said "I need a bath - alone" (this meant Miss M would not be notified of my bath, so that I could actually take it without her stripping down and jumping in uninvited). And so, for the next luxurious hour, I lounged and read a magazine cover-to-cover. Bliss.

Meanwhile, the Hubs took this opportunity to clean up after lunch, while Katie sat in the family room playing with toys. (Sidebar: she's such a good sitter now! I forgot how adorable it is to watch a baby sit and grab the nearest toy and start playing - makes them seem so much more grown up).

Except this "grabbing of nearby things" is what this story is all about...

So the Hubs takes a break from cleaning up the kitchen to pop an eye over at sweet Katiebear, and what does he see?

a) Katie happily playing away with her toys
b) Katie being accosted by too much "attention" from Maddie and/or Seamus
c) Katie happily noshing away the  dog's rawhide bone

While a) would be best case scenario (and not make for much of an interesting blog post), and b) would usually be a safe guess, it is not today - unfortunately for all involved the answer is - c).

Yep. Apparently she had the rawhide bone (the yummy pre-chewed end!) all the way in her mouth, slurping and chewing away on it like it was the best thing she had tasted all week. He said when she pulled it out of her mouth there was a line of drool and a long, soggy, wet piece of rawhide that she was clearly trying to gum off the bone.

Say it with me.... ewww! Gross!

Of course, the Hubs immediately sprang into action - grabbed the bone from her (she protested, loudly), wiped her mouth out with a cloth (heh), and then washed the bone for good measure (huh?).

He did not, as I likely would have, grab the camera and take a shot for historical purposes.

Drat.

xxoo.S

35 things - part 1

Sickness derailed my Family Day long weekend plans - Maddie's daycare germs took first Katie down and then me. Chesty coughing fits sound the worst when they come from a little bebe. Luckily for her, while she sounded wheezy, a quick trip to the doctor confirmed that it wasn't settled in her lungs and she has been officially declared on the mend. I, on the other hand, am not so lucky, and have been prescribed a 10-day treatment of antibiotics.

So I waved the Hubs off (to his parents house, where Maddie's spent the majority of the week already), and here I am. Alone and just a little bit melancholy all weekend - usually I like my quiet time in the house - but this weekend has been a bit lonely. And conversation only goes so far with a 7 month old...

During one of my more introspective moments I realized while I griped about my coming to the ripe old age of 35, I hadn't really embraced the wisdom that has come along with it. And with that wisdom, the awareness that there is so much more to learn.

So, in my rambling thoughts (and subsequent nonsensical rambling here), I've decided that this year, my 35th year, I will learn 35 things. New things. Big things. Small things. I doesn't matter - and for once I'm not planning it. I don't know what I will learn - I have no goals of what I want to learn. (Well, scratch that, I have plenty of goals of new things I plan on doing this year - but none are going to be categorized as a "must learn so I can check it off my list".)

Nope - I'm just going to fly by the seat of my pants on this one - and keep you (and myself) abreast of these new learnings. Because that's what wise old women do - they share the wealth of their years...

And so, taking stock of what I have learned in these first 33 days of my 35th year...

1. How to cook an omelet ~ I've always been a scrambled egg girl - but I had a hankering last weekend for a yummy mushroom + cheese omelet and instead of forcing the Hubs to make me breakfast for the umpteenth time, I decided I would learn how to do it myself. It was good. (The secret? Don't use milk and don't throw in the cheese until it's almost done). Voila. I do not have to deal with scrambled eggs for the rest of my life. (For the record - the Hubs omelets taste far yummier - so while I may have learned a new skill, it is by no means, honed)
2. How to hug better ~ I read a fascinating article in this month's Good Housekeeping (see? I told you I was old - actually, I only bought it because my Gwyneth was on the cover) - it was all about Gretchen Rubin's challenge to herself to fully and scientifically pursue happiness for a full year. She called it her "Happiness Project". And so, one of the takeaways that resonated with me - we should hold our hugs for 20 seconds - that optimizes the flow of chemicals that promotes bonding. So, next time you hug someone - give it 20 seconds - just try it and see if you feel different.

Umm - yep. That's all I've got - all I've learned so far, in my 35th year. Hopefully now that I've started this list, I'll get better at actually remembering what new items I've learned.

Enjoy the rest of your Family Day weekend - my family returns tonight - in time for bedtime, but at least I get to spend one day with them.

xxoo.S

Wordless Wednesday - Sisterly Love

Now that's a precious moment...

xxoo.S

Chin hickeys and dog toots

Katie has hit that adorable baby stage where she has learned to give kisses. Of course they are open-mouthed, slobbery wet baby kisses - and my aggro little troll-baby will grab my face/ears with her talons hands and pull me towards her until she's essentially biting my nose, chin, cheek - whatever she can get her mouth on. She's a girl who knows what she wants alright - and lately, that's giving my chin the whatfor whenever she's feeling particular amorous. Heh.

Not to be outdone, Maddie has picked up the rather disgusting habit of licking my face whenever she gets the chance. I think she's coming in for a snuggle and next thing I know she's got her tongue in my eye. It.is.gross. And the more I protest the grossness of it all, the more determined she is. I think I will bookmark this post "Things To Embarrass My Teenage Daughters With".

When I'm not getting facially assaulted by my offspring, I've been spending time in the backyard doing training romps with my pup. Who hasn't learned the concept of "gentle" yet. This means, while training him with treats in hand, my fingers have been chewed, nipped, mouthed and any other synonym for BITTEN that you can find. In freezing cold winter wind - that's a.w.e.s.o.m.e.

Sidebar: all this training is due to starting our "puppy" classes last week - we're practicing so Seamus isn't such an embarrassment next time. Because, OF COURSE he was the worst behaved dog in the class, right? To put it bluntly he was a barking, anxious, crazy, jumping asshole dog during our first class. And because I may or may not be Type-A-Crazy, I've spent an inordinate amount of time training the hell out of him to try and ensure he at least wins Most-Improved this week.

All this training has meant a lot of treats for our little Shame-Wow, and that in turn, has meant I get stunk off the couch in the evening. Damn. It is potently disgusting. Horrible breath and other gassy smells - definitely a strong CON in the list if you're considering dog ownership.

Ah yes, chin hickeys and dog farts - my life is so exciting.

xxoo.S

Music Monday

So, remember when I mentioned my pink blog that I wrote for a few years? Some of my favourite posts were walks down memory lane via music. I don't know about you - but I definitely have  soundtrack to my life - and at one time, actually prided myself on being fairly knowledgeable of new music/artists etc. 

My passion has always been the classics - rock from Elvis onward pretty much. You show me a guitar-player with long hair and I'll show you my devil horns - booyah! I'm a big fan of the jazz masters - Ella, Nina, Louis, Dizzy, Dinah - they all have a special place in my heart. But I love(d) me some current stuff too - from the grunge-rockers I cut my teeth on in highschool up to the "alternative" "indie-rock" "independents" that carried my through university. I'm embarrassingly out of touch nowadays - but as I gain more free time (and an ipad for my itunes library) I want to re-acquaint myself with some of the new artists. And don't get me wrong - I'm not against the top 40's - it's feel-good music and sometimes you just wanna dance...

For now - I give you my first "music memory" post from back in the day - along with my commentary (because of course I can't do anything without commentary)... oh lord. This could be embarrassing. And the blogs (friends) the post originally linked to have long abandoned their blogs - but they know who they are...

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I was in Montreal with some colleagues yesterday, and as we were waiting for our flight, we got to talking about how a song can totally take you back to a time and place, good or bad, in memory. It's so true and yet, put on the spot, I couldn't think of one song that reminded me of last December.

So I'm adding a new series of posts... Music Memories (or M+Ms as they will undoubtedly be called from now on) 

• Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol - forever will remind me of the "Irish Weeks" as we've called them - that period in October when we were blessed to have 2 of our fave friends stay with us for a couple of weeks. They were loving this song and totally are responsible for getting me fully into this band. And for those of you that are scoffing right now at the ballad-y pop-y stuff this band has - take the advice they gave me - just listen to the words - really nice stuff.  ~I actually listened to this album a tonne while I was pregnant with Maddie and to this day this song immediately brings me back to: me, with a massive belly, driving too and from work in the summer of 2007. Still gives me that nervous, what the hell am I doing having a kid, OMG, butterflies in the stomach-feeling.

• My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas - wow, another cheesy submission you're thinking. Well, maybe - but this song will always remind me of a Fall 2005 weekend spent with the Gene Goddess herself, having a blast and a Sat night where we danced our asses off. To me, this really was a turning point in what had been a bit of a rocky friendship in recent years - but this weekend was the turning point where we both found a common ground and discovered what we liked about each other again and finally starting hanging out on regular basis after way too many years of not doing so. ~Oh I could be all embarrassed about this song choice - but then you'd be missing the point! I found my friend again people! And I had missed her. *tear*

• Santa Monica by Everclear - and oldie, but a goodie. This was actually my fave band for a while back in the 90's, and will always remind me of that year before uni, where I worked at a Licence Bureau with one of my best friends + her mom - we were the only 2 left in Kingston as all our friends did college/uni directly afterhighschool, so we had plenty of some good times listening to this album. ~Shout out to Boggs! Love you my girl! We saw this band live twice I think - once at the debacle known as Woodstock '99. My shirt got ripped off (while crowdsurfing - so I think I may have asked for it), we bought fake magic mushrooms, bottled water for $8 and corn on the cob with dirt on it. It was real. Real gritty.

• Chloe Dancer by Motherlovebone - many of you may not know this band - but they were Pearl Jam before Eddie. And they had a pretty great album that epitomized the Seattle grunge scene back in the very early 90's. This song was featured on the soundtrack for Singles and I fell in love with it. I listened to this song over and over and over again - just ask Rob. ~To this day this song gives me chills. And takes me back to a time of ripped jeans, teenage angst and late night phone calls.

• Fourth of July by Soundgarden - writing the above bullet just reminded me of this song. Ahhh, Ruttan - I miss you dude. ~Yup, I still do.

• Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes - okay, getting a little more current - sorry for the flashbacks folks... this song was way overplayed on the Edge in 2003, but totally will always remind me of getting ready for work in the morning while Hubby waited patiently (or not!) - we only had 1 car at the time, and were both working in Markham, so carpooled in everyday. As hellish as it seemed at the time, it was a nice way to have more chats with him, especially as we were working 14 hour days, and there never seemed to be any other time to catch up. ~Hmm - listening to this song again didn't quite take me back to the time, but I'm glad I penned the memory. Those mornings could be tense - but I did love the chats we had while sitting in traffic.

• Riot Van by the Arctic Monkeys - great memories of Spring 2006 with Hubby. We were both in love with this CD from start to end, but had both (separately) decided this was the best song on the disc by far. No specific memory for this song, just one of those really great couple of months in life - you know, where you look back and totally wish you could relive that time - we had a wicked trip to San Fran, things were good at work for both of us, the weather was getting warmer and we were looking forward to the summer - love those kinds of memories... ~Now this song definitely does still take me right back to that moment in time - you know, where the memory is so strong you can smell it? I smell San Francisco when I hear this song - it was a fun trip and just a free, happy time.

Well, that was a fun walk down memory lane for me. Don't worry, I'm not going to be doing this every Monday....

xxoo.S

Maybe she's just tiny

After our follow up appointment with our regular doctor re: Katie's weight we were referred to a pediatrician. Well, perhaps notsomuch referred as I bullied her into giving us the ability to get a second opinion...

To-may-to, tom-ah-to...

Our appointment with the pediatrician was yesterday - and he confirmed that yes, she was underweight. Or "not gaining as quickly as we would like to see her gain".

Before I go further, I just want to reiterate - this doc is goooood. As in - he takes concerns seriously, isn't (very) condescending, and very much loves kids (which is nice to see in a pediatrician I suppose).

After asking many family health history questions (Crone's, Celiac, allergies) and observing her, he came to the opinion that it's probably nothing. She looks good - she is growing (just slowly) - and she's hitting her developmental milestones (v good). He's of the opinion that perhaps my milk isn't as good (fatty) or plentiful as it should be (yes he said it much more nicely than that - but I'm boiling it down to what he meant) - he'd like to see her supplemented with formula more if possible - but is also all, meh - don't change your life over this, if she won't take a bottle, don't wreck your head about it.

I may be getting a prescription for domperidone. We will be trying more and more with formula and a bottle or sippy or anything she will bloody well drink out of. Solids are going to be pushed harder and more - but he's not suggesting we add butter or full-fat cream to her food... yet. (yes! this is actually something they suggest with underweight babies - crazy, non?)

We have another appointment in a month to check on how she's doing. He (awesomely) closed out the appointment by looking at me and (sincerely) saying - "I don't want you to worry about this. She's fine. F.I.N.E. She'll probably start gaining again just as suddenly as it dropped off and in the end, this won't matter - it won't affect her growth or development or anything. That's what I want you to take away from this - that she will be okay and not to worry more than necessary."

I love him a lot for doing that. Because clearly I'm freaking the fuck out. She's small - not registering on the growth charts small. Screams when you try to feed her baby food. Fights (as of today) and refuses to have a spoon  jammed in her mouth. Only really chews on a bottle and drinks nothing vigorously except for water from a sippy cup. All that scares the shit out of me. She doesn't look skinny. But she is petite. And doesn't seem to like eating.

And that's weird to me. And I'm not used to it. And that adds up to me getting freaked out. But I'm thankful there's no testing or official "concerns" for now.

Very thankful.

xxoo.S

Why write?

I had a friend jokingly refer to me as a "mommy blogger" a while back and I was quick to deny the label. Not because I don't like the label, but I can't group myself in with women that actually spend time, effort, even programming skills on their blog. I don't... do any of that. I think at one time I thought I'd start on twitter and promote myself and connect with some companies and do some contests and, and, and.....

Nope. Not for me.

I don't do Twitter. It's a time-suck of massive proportions, and I'm not sure if it's my distractability, but I get on there and then look up and BAM! 2 hours have gone by. And the few times that companies did contact me for samples or contests or whatever (ages ago - when I was trying out Twitter and they were fooled into thinking I was potentially Someone Important) - well, I just looked at their lovely PR emails and thought to myself, bleeeeurgggh. Not into it. And I'm certainly not so important that I am "Too Busy" for everything - but yeah, no. Just.... not into finding the time to do it...

But still - I blog. And why? Why put all this out into space if you don't want to promote yourself and do stuff or get free stuff, right? Honestly - I just like to journal. That is it full-stop. I've been doing it for years and years and years (trust me - my old Annie Diary is in my basement as we speak with dozens of entries about my dog and my step-brother and the neighbourhood friends that I would bitch and moan about constantly) (guess some things never change) (yes, I was six years old at the time).

I loved writing for myself - and (after one mortifying incident where my mom found my diary and grounded me for the contents of it) I never minded sharing what I wrote. Sometime in our early twenties, I actually let my closest girlfriends sit and read through some of my high-school diaries while we shared some glasses of wine and laughed our asses off at my drama and self-pity and teenage angst. It could've been embarrassing - but really, it was just funny.

I think I have a few more notebooks from my early twenties (uni days) - but then I stopped. I was a sporadic writer by then at the best of times, and I think I just felt too old to be writing in a diary anymore? I'm not sure - I don't think I really thought about why I quit at the time that I did - I just stopped.

And a few years later discovered this new-fangled-thang called blogging and ba-dum-dum-dum... I was back into it instantly. True to form - my first blog was all about my wedding plans - because that was what I was LIVING for at the time (planning a wedding in 4 short months was like crack-cocaine for this planning diva - I was in heaven!). I was living, eating, breathing all things nuptial and wanted to share what was happening with family/friends - and so I blogged it.

When that was over, I started my next blog - it was more irreverent and not a URL I actually gave out to family. I still love that lil' pink blog and have never killed it - but, no, will not be linking to it anytime soon. It is like a "nutshell" of my mid-twenties. Obsessed with shopping, how I'd spend the lottery, hot movie stars that I fancied at the time, interspersed with angry rants about stupid people (bad drivers, stupid dry cleaners - I lived in the city at the time, there was no shortage to my rants). I was grown up and yet so immature. It was life "before kids". (Maybe that's why I hold onto it)

While I was writing my pink blog, I had more requests from family on updates about newly married life - you know - those that loved the wedding blog and wanted more of us (of COURSE they did!)... so this blog was born. And it was a "family" blog - it's only purpose was to update all what we were up to... but then Maddie was born and it evolved - just like I evolved. Less about me - more about her. Less about us - more about US.

And it's worked out just fine. Family, friends - hell, even people I don't even know all that well - they are kept up to date on our little corner of the world. I worry less about the baby books and making sure I "remember" that hilarious day we had, because I know if I write about it, I'll always remember it.

So, I guess when it comes down to it - I write for me.

It's not for you.

And it's not for them.

It's for us.

xxoo.S